Holy crap, this is real? Yep. A Buffalo local news station is apologizing after their chyron read “MICHAEL CLARK DUNCAN DEAD AT 54″ over two separate pictures of Seal in a video package.

Buffalo NBC affiliate WGRZ has issued an apology after mistakenly airing photos of musician Seal while reporting on the death of Michael Clarke Duncan on Monday evening. The station reported on Duncan’s death during Monday’s 11 p.m. newscast. During the segment, a short video of Duncan at various red carpet events aired; toward the tail end of the story, the clip switched to still photos, which were all of Seal.

A statement posted on the WGRZ Facebook page reads:

Yep; our bad; we own it. A careless editing error at the end of the Michael Clarke Duncan story in our 11pm news. Two entertainment stories accidentally merged into one video clip. Sincere apologies. [MediaBistro]

Deadspin even has the video of it. Not that I blame poor WGRZ. One bald black guy is named Michael Clarke Duncan, another bald black guy is named Seal… who can keep track these days? I bet that one guy isn’t even really a seal.

Aw, thank God for screw ups like this. Without them, I wouldn’t know local news still existed.

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Now, I know this isn’t strictly movie-related, but if you think I’m passing up an opportunity to post a baby seal asleep on a couch, you don’t know me at all. Taking a page from that fur seal pups often get lost and disoriented while their mothers spend days away foraging for food, and sometimes wander inland, winding up in strange places such as backyards, drains and streets. Many of those end up promptly falling asleep, because New Zealand is so f*cking boring.

“I was in my office and I heard an awful racket down below… I thought the cats have brought a rabbit or something in so I went down and had a look – and there’s a seal in my kitchen. “I thought ‘I’m hallucinating, this is just wrong’.”

Stunned, Ms Swoffer called a friend who lives in a unit at the same property to come and verify what she was seeing.

“I’m looking and I’m definitely seeing flippers and not paws.”

Another victory for the New Zealand public school system.

Calmly, the young pup then eased past Ms Swoffer’s dog and cats before making himself at home on a couch and attempting to snuggle in for the night.
“Then it looks at me with those huge brown eyes. It was so cute, but I didn’t touch it because you don’t with wild animals.” Ms Swoffer called the SPCA.

And now for my favorite part of the story…

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A few weeks ago, you may remember Danger Guerrero bringing you the story about Hilary Swank (along with Jean-Claude Van Damme) getting paid a fee rumored to be in the six figures to attend a birthday party for autocratic Chechen president Ramzan Kadyrov (pictured, left), a dude who Human Rights Watch has said presides over a regime responsible for kidnappings, torture, and executions. At the party, Jean Claude was filmed on stage telling Kadyrov “I love you,” and Swank wished him a happy birthday. (No word on whether she worked in any references to her movies, but I think it’d be neat if she’d said “Birthday boys don’t cry, you look like a million dollars, baby!”).

The party also included performances by Seal and a famous British violinist, fireworks, acrobats, a floating stage on the river Sunzha in Grozny, and portraits of Kadyrov displayed throughout the city, leaving little doubt that this dude parties way harder than Kirk Cameron, who celebrated his birthday with extra mayo. Now, in the fallout from all the anti-murder-and-kidnapping shrivs blowing up her spot, Swank has offered to donate her appearance fee to charity and fired her manager.

The Independent on Sunday understands that Jason Weinberg, Swank’s friend and manager of eight years, was unceremoniously fired last week. Amie Yavor and Josh Lieberman, two of Swank’s representatives at Hollywood’s most powerful talent agency, CAA, and the people who made the Chechen booking, also face being moved off her team.

Can one be ceremoniously fired? That’d be something I’d like to see. I hope it would involve tearing a fancy seal off someone’s jacket in front of everyone. I’m also curious as to how many members there are of “Team Swank,” and what they do all day.

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