In a move that surprised no one, Afghan authorities have banned the import and release of Marc Forster’s adaptation of the Khaled Hosseini novel The Kite Runner.

"On the basis of the instruction of the information and culture ministry, the ‘Kite Runner’ film’s depiction and import has been banned," Latif Ahmadi, the head of state-run Afghan Film told Reuters. 

Containing scenes showing the rape of a boy and ethnic conflict, the pic was deemed by Afghan authorities as unacceptable.

The official went on to clarify that rape itself is not illegal, provided the rapee is your wife, and you consider the raping “important to her education and development.”  Other forms of education are of course banned.

The war on terrorism won’t be over until we convert each and every one of these heathens to Scientology using the power of Hollywood films.  A god who doesn’t require you to pay for enlightenment?  Xenu scoffs at you, Allah, Xenu scoffs. 

MTV has a couple new clips (watch them here) from Alvin and the Chipmunks that they introduce thusly:

What happens when you mix David Cross with three over-caffeinated singing chipmunks? If 20th Century Fox has their way, it will be sheer hilarity and boffo box office. “Alvin and the Chipmunks” opens December 14th, but we’ve got your first look below.

Yeah, sure buddy.  Any time you hear a guy say "If __ has their way…" or "boffo" you can pretty much guarantee he’s full of sh-t and trying really hard not to rip something. 

It’s only out of sheer, morbid curiosity that I post this stuff.  Who thought this was a good idea?  And how much money are they throwing at this thing?  They got Jason Lee and David Cross to be in it, two guys who seem to have reasonably decent taste and who aren’t poor – I’m thinking it was blackmail.  Or maybe large blackmale.  The first trailer had a chipmunk eating poop.  In this one, it sounds like Alvin’s singing a strip tease song as he suggestively hula hoops. Is this supposed to be a kid’s movie about rodents who eat other’s crap and try to f-ck me?  CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?      

Watch the Alvin and the Chipmunks trailer at Yahoo

The full trailer for Alvin and the Chipmunks is online over at Yahoo today, and perhaps the best thing I can say for it is that, unlike the earlier teaser trailer, no one appears to eat poop.  Though it does include a rather wet sounding fart.  Probably why this one’s rated PG and not G.  "Parental Guidance: Poop Eating and Farts".  Can I get that on a doormat?  

The worst part about this is watching Tobias Fünke (David Cross) whittle away at his respectability.  I hope he traded a pet project or a big pile of cash for this one.  I mean, nothing against Jason Lee – but the guy’s a Scientologist, and those people are nothing if not gullible. 

But by far the most outrageous thing about the Alvin and the Chipmunks is the fact that they’re out making big budget movies while the California Raisins continue to toil in obscurity.  Hollywood, what a bunch of racists.  Racism is so typical of the cabal of wealthy Jew bankers running that place.