When a Marine made a video asking Mila Kunis to the Marine Corps Ball and she accepted, it was pretty cute. Then when another, female Marine called Justin Timberlake out for setting up Mila Kunis’ date, that just made good sense (and spawned the delightful headline, “Justin Timberlake accepts Marine’s invite to ball”).  Then when Linda Hamilton started trying to get herself invited along, it all started getting a bit weird. Most recently, Sgt. Dustin L. Williams made a video asking Scarlett Johansson to go his ball (hee hee!). She made up an excuse and regretfully declined and sent him a form letter, and I breathed a sigh of relief, because things were finally back to normal again.

I feel incredibly honored to have been invited to the Marine Corps Ball by Sgt. Dustin L. Williams. Not only does Sgt. Williams deserve recognition for his bravery, selflessness and dedication to the United States and its people, but he also displays a cheeky talent for film making. Sgt. Williams, unfortunately due to prior commitments I will not be able to attend the Ball with you this year but I am sending you a case of Moet and Chandon with gratitude. In my absence, I raise a glass to you and all the men and women of the U.S. Marine Corps, past and present, in thanks for your continued commitment to preserving the safety of our nation. –  Scarlett [Zap2It]

Ooh, a case of champagne, what a thoughtful gift! I’m sure that when a big tough Marine sgt. comes home from a hard day of drilling and doing push-ups in the dirt, there’s nothing he likes better than getting his hand around cold, frosty flute of champagne. Only things I need in the world are a comfortable chair, my old pal Rex, and cold champagne flute, I always say. That Scarlett Johansson represents a champagne brand is just a happy coincidence. Heck, maybe that’s why he asked in the first place.

[picture source = JustJared]

"Know how I know you're gay?"

Scarlett Johansson, who recently cut her hair to look like that lesbian from the workout show, is nevertheless set to play a slutty, sexy alien in an upcoming movie from Sexy Beast writer-director Jonathan Glazer. Bet he’s pissed he already used that title.

That is what FilmNation is selling at AFM, launching Under the Skin, a sci-fi drama.  According to the company, “Johansson plays an alien on earth, disguised as the perfect aesthetic form of a mesmerizing woman. She scours remote highways and desolate scenery looking to use her greatest weapon to snare human prey — her voracious sexuality.”
“She is deadly efficient, but over time becomes drawn to and changed by the complexity of life on earth. With this new found humanity and weakening alien resolve, she finds herself on a collision course with her own kind. Taking her point of view throughout, the film presents a unique look at our world through alien eyes.” [THR]

So… pretty much exactly like Species, then?  But hornier, and with bigger boobs?  And the alien eventually decides she wants to stop killing and just concentrate on doin’ it?  I admit, this is starting to sound like a really good idea.

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(Super mega huge version over at Durden, video after the jump)

Here are some pictures and video from Saturday’s Marvel panel that I waited three hours in vain for.  Marvel chief Kevin Feige asked the crowd if they wouldn’t mind waiting another five minutes or so (very funny, motherf*cker) for a special treat, and then he invited Sam Jackson to the stage and had him introduce all The Avengers, including Robert Downey Jr. (Tony Stark/Iron Man), Clark Gregg (Agent Phil Coulson), Scarlett Johansson (Black Widow), Chris Hemsworth (Thor), Chris Evans (Captain America), Samuel L. Jackson (Nick Fury), Jeremy Renner (Hawkeye), Mark Ruffalo (Bruce Banner), and director Joss Whedon (the Great Foreheadulo).  No matter what Sam Jackson says, I’m always waiting on pins and needles to hear him shout “MOTHERF*CKER!”  Anyway, then America’s sweetheart, Snuggles Downey Jr. took the stage, leading off with an ever-so-timely joke:

Don’t anybody stab anybody anywhere until I’m done talking.

WAKKA WAKKA (*pen to the eye*).  Once he’s warmed up the dorks through the magic of chuckles, he says he was watching Inception the other day and thinking what an ambitious movie that was.  But then he realized The Avengers is just as ambitious.   Which is kind of true, if you squint (I would argue it’s automatically more ambitious to make a project from scratch than to create something for an existing market, but that’s for another discussion).

I’m cautiously optimistic about all the casting choices they’ve made so far. I don’t know Joss Whedon’s work too well, but he seems like he cares a lot, which is probably the most important thing.  But if I was a betting man, I’d say we’re probably going to get another two-hour medley of trailers for future movies a lá Iron Man 2 (it wasn’t terrible, but come on) rather than an actual good movie in its own right.  Meanwhile, I was thinking DC’s Green Lantern panel seemed pretty lame by comparison, but then I saw Blake Lively and just sorta zoned out for a while trying to imagine what her skin smells like.  My guess is unicorn fur and angel’s breath with just a hint of pancake batter.

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With the release of Iron Man 2 just two weeks away, the studio has released more new clips than I can shake my dick at.  I exaggerate, but there are a lot.  I’ve attached them all after the jump, including the new one that shows Tony Stark in his suitcase armor.  If you’re wondering how Whiplash, with no armor, can compete with a fully-armored Iron Man, the answer is that Whiplash is Russian.  Vodka + not giving a f*ck = the strength of military-grade steel. It’s science, ask my uncle.

Meanwhile, AMC Theatres is announcing an Iron Man double feature in select cities, so you can see Iron Man 1 before the midnight showing of Iron Man 2.  That way by the time the second one starts, you won’t be all, “Wait, why is there iron mans? How does iron mans form?”

In other Iron Man news, Marvel prez Kevin Feige says that Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow character getting her own spinoff movie is “definitely possible.  Absolutely.”   I don’t know how I feel about Scarlett Johansson trying to carry an entire movie, unless it’s about girl who loves to shower.  Like, a lot. Is that a possibility, Mr. Feige? Guh, these nerds never ask the good questions.

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Moviefone got a hold of this new short clip from Iron Man 2.  It shows Pepper Paltrow and Tony Stark hanging out at his house while his bodyguard, Happy Hogan, played by Jon Favreau (I’ve heard all the best bodyguards are short, chubby guys with Jew fros), teaches Scarlett Johansson aka Natalie Rushman aka Natasha Romanov how to box.

So what’s the deal with Johannsson’s character and her two names?  (Possible minor spoilers to follow, so no whining).  By most accounts, it appears her character is “an undercover agent for S.H.I.E.L.D. posing as Tony Stark’s assistant.”   Hence, I’m guessing, the two names.  I sincerely hope they don’t try to pull that Die Hard 3 bullsh*t, where the bad guy can go undercover with a perfect American accent, but whenever they’re hanging around their buddies, they slip back into their normal, thick German (or in this case Russian) accents.  Really, Hollywood?  Is that how accents work?  All foreigners can speak perfect English, but only when they want to?  You should hang out with my grandpa.

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