Two years ago, when Saw VI was released on Halloween like the 5 installments before it, it marked what most people believed was the end of the repetitive torture porn franchise. Its opening weekend ($14 million) and worldwide ($61 million) grosses were the franchise’s lowest by far, and the toe tag was nearly applied. But Lionsgate saw it simply as a fluke and the studio went forward with last year’s Saw 3D, the most expensive of the series, and while it earned well worldwide, it was still a big disappointment. And thus Saw was declared dead.

Now if you believed that we would never hear from Jigsaw and his deadly gadgets again, you were dead wrong… *cues maniacal laughter, farts*

Lionsgate Vice Chairman Michael Burns spoke to CNBC Tuesday about the potential merger with Summit Entertainment and dropped the following nugget on the horror community:

I’m sure, some day, you’ll see Saw back in the picture

(Via Slash Film)

Well of course we will. How could we not in this Copper Era of remakes, reboots and re-releases? Lionsgate took one Halloween off – probably because it was broke – and people really thought that meant Saw movies were never going to be made again? Hell, I’m surprised there weren’t 10 straight-to-DVD sequels made this year alone.

But I love how Burns (no relation, unless he wants to hire me) pops the Saw reference like we’re all holding out for it. Now a sequel to The Cove, that would be something to get excited about.

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HUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR….

Dimension has hired Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan, the screenwriting team behind the last few films Saw V, Saw VI, Saw 3D, to pen the script to the Piranha 3D sequel. And they have hired a director John Gulager, who they found through the last season of Project Greenlight and helmed the Feast series (which was written by Melton and Dunstan). [SlashFilm]

So you got the Saw guys to write the sequel to a horror parody?  Awesome.  This will be just like the time Michael Bay directed Airplane 2.

Douchedog says, "Nice tats, brah."

If we are to believe anything that comes out of this event they call Comic Con, then it appears that the Saw franchise will end with the seventh installment, Saw 3D. An announcement will be made at Comic Con at some point today addressing the end of the horror franchise. Somewhere Carry Elwes and Danny Glover are sharing a glass of pinot grigio and reflecting on the most average work of their respective careers.

Make me dig a key out of dirty syringes, I4U:

The announcement of the series ending is expected to be made today at Comic-Con, but USA Today got an early tip on the news. “It’s time to stop. We have told the story we wanted to tell, and this is going to be a great farewell,” said producer Oren Koules.

The first Saw movie was a very budget [sic], independent film but it quickly grew into a huge commercial success, spawning a nauseating five sequels, each barely connected to the movie before.

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It’s hard to believe that this fall will see the release of a seventh Saw movie.  These sh*tty movie franchises, they grow up so fast.  Today, the news hit that that title of the latest will be, I poop you not, “Saw 3D: The Traps Come Alive.” Eh, not bad.  As far as horror movie concepts go, I’d say that’s only a few rungs below “Gesundheit.”

Anyway, here are some of the titles they didn’t use.

• Saw VII: No Seriously, F*cking Seven
• Saw VII: Torture Everywhere Up in This Bitch
• Saw VII: 3-DEEEZ Nuts
• Saw VII: The Derpening
• 7 Saw 7 Furious
• Saw VII: F*cking 3D — How does it work?
• SEVEN! SEVEN SAW MOVIES! HA HA HA!
• Lucky Number Sawvin
• Saw VII: OOH WAH-AH AH AH!
• Saw VII: RIP Dimebag
• …And the Wal Mart of Doom
• Saw VII: Chromosomal Disorder Summit 2010
• Saw VII: Air Bud Spikes Back
• Thhhhhhhaw Thhhhhhheven: My Knee Ligamenthhhhh Are Loooooooooth, Starring Nick Ring
• Saw VII: I Keep the Jack Handle in the Front Seat, H8r F*ggots
• Saw VII: Because You Never Learned to Read
• Saw VII: P*SSY TUBING!
• Saw VII:  Live Free or Saw Hard
• Saw VII: No Vegetables
• Saw VII: You Can Just Bring Your Meth and Your Baby into the Theater
• 5aw 5373n

Aaaaaand I’m spent.  Thanks to Burnsy and the Frotcast crew for the help.

AW GOD D*MN IT UPDATE: Apparently it’s just called “Saw 3D” and “The Traps Come Alive” is just the tagline.

(“Hurrr, I’m terrified of doors.”)

It still haven’t seen Paranormal Activity because it looks boring, but the “found-footage” thriller did earn $151 million on an initial budget of $15,000 (initial being a key distinction…), so naturally a sequel was greenlit.  So how do you use studio backing to recreate the charm of a low-budget phenomenon?  You go the Blair Witch 2 route and just hire a studio director, duh.  Don’t you know anything about Hollywood?

Paramount has hired screenwriter Michael R. Perry and director Kevin Greutert to create the sequel. Greutert made his directorial debut on the sixth “Saw” film, which grossed just $31 million worldwide, with observers thinking that the franchise may be bleeding dry.  Significantly, Paramount will unleash it in theaters on the pre-Halloween weekend of October 22, which sets it against that date’s reigning champion in previous years, the next installment in Lionsgate’s “Saw” series (this year would be “VII”). [THR]

Have you noticed every stupid horror movie seems to make money in this slot?  I think maybe they should keep charging admission, but this time instead of a movie, they could just hand out Mountain Dew and meth and let these slack-jawed bumblef*cks pick ticks off each other for two hours.