The winner of last year’s AVN Award for “Clever Title” was “Beggin for a Peggin,” a romantic tale of ladies taking their male co-stars from behind with strap-ons. (Did you know that’s what “pegging” meant? I did.) I personally thought “I Want You to Make My Mouth Pregnant” was robbed, but when it comes to the clever title award, really, everyone’s a winner. This year’s list of nominees, as you can see above, includes:

Clever Title of the Year
Asphyxia Heels the World, BurningAngel/Vouyer
Brooklyn Egg Cream on the Roxxx, Seymore Butts/Pure Play
Chocolate Covered Crackers, Black Magic Pictures
Chocolate Yam Yams, Black Storm/Monarchy/Vantage
Does This Dick Make My Ass Look Big?, Vouyer Media
Look Mom, My First Black Penis, Mike Hunt/Juicy
My Wife Caught Me Assf*cking Her Mother, Devil’s Film
Nice Shoes, Wanna F*ck?, Electric/Hustler
Occupy My Ass, Bobbi Starr/Evil Angel
She Plays a Mean Rusty Trombone!, Lethal Hardcore/Pulse
Show Me Your Sh*thole, B. Pumper/Freaky Empire
Somebody Shave Me, Zero Tolerance Entertainment
The Spit and the Speculum, Mike Adriano/Evil Angel
Subtle Fragrance of Her Private Parts, Swank/Pure Play
We Vow to Bang Black Beotches, Kelly Madison/Juicy

Now, if I was being a homer, I’d be rooting for “Brooklyn Egg Cream on the Roxxx,” which was actually first announced on FilmDrunk’s very own podcast by Seymore Butts, one of our favorite guests (these are the kinds of announcements you get to break when you name your show after a sex act). But if I’m honest, I think I’m a little more partial to “The Spit and the Speculum” (cos it’s literary, like), or “Show Me Your Sh*thole,” which finds beauty in blunt directness, a la Hemingway. (Not to mention, it stars the guy who once wrote a rap song about making Laurence Fishburne’s daughter queef).

However, neither would be declared a winner that day. Instead, the honor went to…

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You know who was robbed? Your mom.

Sasha Grey, arguably the most famous porn star in the world, who as an 18-year-old famously ordered co-star Rocco Siffredi to punch her in the stomach during a sex scene, and later went on to mainstream fame in Steven Soderbergh’s The Girlfriend Experience and Entourage, has announced her retirement from porn.  As Grey recently told her legion of presumably pantsless Facebook fans:

It’s become quite evident that my time as an adult film performer has expired. Don’t worry, I haven’t found Jesus. One thing is for certain, I’m proud to say I have no regrets, I genuinely feel I accomplished everything I could as a performer. I was able to work with the industry’s most professional performers and companies, and I’ll always cherish the friends and relationships I was able to build. It was simply the perfect time for me to move on… while I was on top (pun indeed, intended). Life sometimes takes us in a direction we never could have imagined.

Thanks to my friend Brandon Stosuy, last week at Housing Works in NYC I had a very successful launch for my first book, NEÜ SEX. We had a huge turnout of people for our discussion and signing, all while supporting a cause! Vice and I donated several copies of the book to Housing Works, so everyone who bought a book (or a drink) in turn helped fight HIV/AIDS and homelessness. Some very familiar faces showed up that night, and I’m happy I got to share my excitement with all of them!

Four years in the making, NEÜ SEX includes my visual mosaic through photography, my sexual philosophy, and observations.  I’d just like to say thank you to every individual who has supported me from day one, you are truly my shining stars.

Much like the aforementioned Siffredi, it wasn’t hard to see this coming.  I was never a huge Sasha Grey fan, because to me it always seemed like her motivation for doing porn was a James Franco-esque desire to prove that she was smarter and more evolved than the rest of us (which is quite possibly true), and that allowing us to see her take it in the butt on camera was just a way to further rub it in our faces that we’d never know “the real her.”  I much prefer my strippers and pornstars humble and happy to be there, everygirls delighted to have finally found a place where society allows them to be themselves, which naturally includes giggling and getting naked for me.  That, and Sasha Grey’s p*ssy was just a smidge too hairy for my tastes.  Nonetheless, I wish her luck in all her non-porn pursuits.  We’ll never forget you, my flower, you squinty Josh Hartnett of hardcore sex you.

This is the brand new trailer for Steven Soderbergh’s The Girlfriend Experience, my posting of which was in no way an excuse to post pictures of pornstar Sasha Grey.  Sasha Grey, a pornstar who normally makes her living as a naked, hardcore pornstar who loves anal, bukkake, creampies, orgies, threesomes, gangbangs and nude lesbian, makes her mainstream debut in The Girlfriend Experience, which probably left thousands of other naked, hardcore, lesbian pornstars jealous of, or possibly horny for pornstar Sasha Grey.  (*cough*) SASHA GREY NAKED SASHA GREY NAKED SASHA GREY NAKED! (*cough*).  I apologize, everyone, I seem to have something stuck in my throat.

When Steven Soderbergh cast squinty porn star Sasha Grey in his film The Girlfriend Experience, I thought, “Wow, what an easy way to bump up my page views.”  More importantly I thought it was interesting choice – Grey’s willing to do pretty much anything on camera (she supposedly asked Rocco Siffredi to punch her in the stomach during fellatio in her first scene). But she never really seems to be enjoying herself. Unlike, say, Jenna Haze.  …Um, so I’ve heard.  But maybe that’s what Soderbergh wanted.  Some guys are into that.

Set in the weeks leading up to the 2008 presidential election, the film tells the story of five days in the life of Chelsea, an ultra high-end Manhattan call girl who offers more than sex to her clients, but companionship and conversation – “the girlfriend experience.”  Chelsea thinks she has her life totally under control—she feels her future is secure because she runs her own business her own way, makes $2000 an hour, and has a devoted boyfriend who accepts her lifestyle. But when you’re in the business of meeting people, you never know who you’re going to meet…

Could it be a UPS guy with freakishly large genitals?  We’ll have to wait and see.  The trailer doesn’t tell us much of anything, except that she seems to be incapable of opening her eyes.  If her and Josh Hartnett had a kid you could play jump rope with its eyelids.

(If you’re a non-U.S. type, I’ve got a different player that should work below)
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