^{If only.}

As part of the “Declare Yourself” voter drive campaign, every celebrity ever is telling us to vote, and they’re doing it in creative ways.  Jessica Alba and Cristina Aguilera got all bondaged out for photographer David LaChappelle, while people like Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill and Sarah Silverman did a video (after the jump) full of naughty words that spends the first few minutes telling you not to vote.  But then Sarah Silverman says you can literally register while pooping, so I guess they actually do want you to vote.  But if you were planning on not voting and then changed your mind because Usher showed up and said it was important, please, don’t vote.  In fact, kill yourself.  And should you choose to ignore my advice, please be aware that one of the candidates is not “MC Cain”.

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In response to the Sarah Silverman sensation "I’m F-ing Matt Damon", Jimmy Kimmel created this video, "I’m F-ing Ben Affleck". It’s not the funniest thing ever, but I’m impressed that pretty much every famous person ever is in it. It’s got Brad Pitt, McLovin, the black chick with the cartoon voice, that homo from Fall Out Boy, those two wood nymphs from Good Charlotte, Don Cheadle, Robin Williams, Perry Farrell, (was that Joan Jett?), and most importantly, Ben Affleck. (The song starts 2:00 in if you want to skip the intro).

Ben Affleck > Matt Damon.  There, I said it.

[Thanks to RoboPanda for the tip] 

^{See the higher res version here}

Curb Your Enthusiasm Co-executive producer and fictional agent of Larry David Jeff Garlin wrote, directed, and starred in I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With. Though you should never end a sentence with a preposition (I'd recommend a proposition), I'll support any movie from the guy behind the Huge Vagina episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. 

Honestly, Jeff Garlin, Sarah Silverman, and Amy Sedaris?  You'd have to pay me not to see that. It's like Knüt the Bear and Anne Hathaway (NWS) are spooning in my heart.