Warner Brothers recently announced that it will reboot Buffy the Vampire Slayer for the big screen, and that could possibly be cool if they did it right and I’m not going to waste anyone’s time – they’re not going to do it right. WB will move ahead on a new Buffy without Joss Whedon, who wrote the original 1992 movie and directed the TV series. Presumably nobody from the original movie or TV show will be involved, which is unfortunate because David Arquette is really looking for attention right now.

Writing this new version is actress Whit Anderson, and you may be asking, “Hey Burnsy, how did you get so handsome and who the F is Whit Anderson?” And my answers are noneyabiz and she’s someone whose IMDb credits include two short films and the role of “Yes Patron” in Yes Man. But she loved Buffy as a kid, so it’s totally going to be, like, totally OMG fine.

So what say you, Mr. Whedon, on this resurrection and slap in the face? (Via E! Online)

“This is a sad, sad reflection on our times, when people must feed off the carcasses of beloved stories from their youths—just because they can’t think of an original idea of their own, like I did with my Avengers idea that I made up myself.”

I’ve never had two thoughts of an opinion about Joss, but just that initial response alone makes me want to buy the guy a Purple Haze and pose for funny Facebook photos with him. More of Whedon’s delightfully humorous response, as well as a look back at the faces (then and now) of this vampire franchise that paved the way for Twihards and their diabetes, after the jump…

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Check out the new trailer for Possession, a remake of the South Korean horror film Addicted, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar (why does she need three names? did she kill a president I’m not aware of?).

A woman’s life is thrown into chaos after a freak car accident sends her husband and brother-in-law into comas. Thrills arrive after the brother-in-law wakes up, thinking he’s his brother.

I don’t have any brothers, but I’d like to think that if I did, I’d bang their girlfriends.  I’m just old fashioned like that.  Anyway, if you’re keeping score at home, that makes this a remake and a body swap movie.  Body swap movies are so original that they have their own Wikipedia page.   

A body swap is a storytelling device seen in a variety of fiction, most often in TV shows and movies, in which two people (or beings) exchange minds and end up in each others’ bodies. Alternatively, their minds may stay where they are as their bodies adjust.

It goes on to say:

In 1973 a group of scientists from Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine in Cleveland Ohio, led by Dr. Robert White, a neurosurgeon inspired by the work of Vladimir Demikhov, transplanted the head of one monkey onto another monkey’s body. The animal was still able to smell, taste, hear, and see. The animal survived for eight days after the operation, even at times attempting to bite some of the staff. In 2001 the operation was successfully repeated again on a monkey by the aforementioned Dr. White.

And that monkey was none other than Sarah Michelle Gellar. 

This clip from Richard Kelly's (Domino, Donnie Darko) upcoming Southland Tales, features The Rock, Seann William Scott (Stifler), Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Will Sasso, who played the retard in Drop Dead Gorgeous (probably the best portrayal of a movie retard of all time).  

I'm not saying the clip is good, but given this ensemble, it's a wonder there's no life-sized, talking CGI animals or guys getting wanged in the ding dong.  

Supposedly, the trailer will be up tomorrow.  On pins and needles is where I shall be waiting.