When you think coming-of-age tales about teenage girls, you don’t typically think about sharp-witted assassins and brutal murder-for-hire, but that’s absolutely the case for Violet and Daisy, which stars Saoirse Ronan and Alexis Bledel. Obsessed with a pop idol named Barbie Sunday, the titular BFFs are everything you’d expect from teenage girls in the big city, except instead of babysitting and pet-watching for extra cash, they’re killing people.

And because they need money to buy the latest Barbie Sunday fashion, they take on a seemingly easy mark (James Gandolfini), only to find out that there’s much more than meets the eye to this gig. Honestly, I can’t remember ever watching a trailer for a film about assassins and thinking, “My God, that looks so sweet and inspiring.” What can I say? I’ve got the soul of an old romantic.

Danny Trejo also stars, so I believe that we are required by law to see this.

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I know what you guys are thinking, the last Twilight movie is just weeks away, and then it will be gone, a hole left in your heart like the time your cat Renesmee tried to kill you and your husband had to beat it to death with his C-Pap mask. But chins up, there’s more Stephenie Meyer goodness on the horizon! Here’s the first full trailer for The Host, based on the book by Stephenie Meyer, directed by In Time’s Andrew Niccol and starring that chick from Atonement, Slainte Ronin I think her name is, about a future where aliens are taking over humans’ bodies. At least, until they try to take over the body of one white chick, WHOSE LOVE IS SO POWERFUL IT COULD CHANGE EVERYTHING!

“Human bodies take a lot of getting used to. They’re not like the others we have inhabited. Their emotions are powerful.”

SPARKLE ME, ALIEN! SPARKLE ME RAW!

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Trailer for Hanna, y’all:

Raised by her father, an ex-CIA man, in the wilds of Finland, Hanna’s upbringing and training have been one and the same, all geared to making her the perfect assassin. The turning point in her adolescence is a sharp one; sent into the world by her father on a mission, Hanna journeys stealthily across Europe while eluding agents dispatched after her by a ruthless intelligence operative with secrets of her own.

So basically, the chick from Atonement/Lovely Bones — Saoirse (“SIR-shuh”) Ronan — is raised in the woods with Eric Bana, who turns her into a PERFECT KILLING MACHINE.  My favorite part was when she was riding in the undercarriage of a car like Cape Fear.  I wish she’d also had a knife between her teeth and was screaming YOU CAN’T RUN FROM SAOIRSE, MOTHERF**KERS!

Then in the next scene, someone’s looking at her DNA tests marked “ABNORMAL.” I’m telling you, if this chick turns out to be a secret dwarf hooker, I might pass out from glee.

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After the jump, watch the trailer for Peter Jackson’s new film The Lovely Bones, starring Mark Wahlberg, Susan Sarandon, Rachel Weisz, and Saoirse Ronan.  If the movie is any good I’ll be highly impressed because the Alice Sebold book it’s based on is a cheesy, melodramatic mess.  Susie Salmon is 14 and in love, you see, and after she gets raped and murdered, she’s up in heaven trying to help her family catch her killer and OH MY GOD I CAN’T STOP WANKING DISMISSIVELY, IT BURNS!  IT BURNS!  I’d recommend reading Lucky, Sebold’s earlier book instead, a non-fiction account of her own rape when she was 18.  It’s kind of like The Lovely Bones, only without the Hollywooden plot and scene stolen from Ghost, and you can read it without fear of spontaneously growing a vagina.

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