Trailer for Hanna, y’all:

Raised by her father, an ex-CIA man, in the wilds of Finland, Hanna’s upbringing and training have been one and the same, all geared to making her the perfect assassin. The turning point in her adolescence is a sharp one; sent into the world by her father on a mission, Hanna journeys stealthily across Europe while eluding agents dispatched after her by a ruthless intelligence operative with secrets of her own.

So basically, the chick from Atonement/Lovely Bones — Saoirse (“SIR-shuh”) Ronan — is raised in the woods with Eric Bana, who turns her into a PERFECT KILLING MACHINE.  My favorite part was when she was riding in the undercarriage of a car like Cape Fear.  I wish she’d also had a knife between her teeth and was screaming YOU CAN’T RUN FROM SAOIRSE, MOTHERF**KERS!

Then in the next scene, someone’s looking at her DNA tests marked “ABNORMAL.” I’m telling you, if this chick turns out to be a secret dwarf hooker, I might pass out from glee.

Read the rest of this entry »

After the jump, watch the trailer for Peter Jackson’s new film The Lovely Bones, starring Mark Wahlberg, Susan Sarandon, Rachel Weisz, and Saoirse Ronan.  If the movie is any good I’ll be highly impressed because the Alice Sebold book it’s based on is a cheesy, melodramatic mess.  Susie Salmon is 14 and in love, you see, and after she gets raped and murdered, she’s up in heaven trying to help her family catch her killer and OH MY GOD I CAN’T STOP WANKING DISMISSIVELY, IT BURNS!  IT BURNS!  I’d recommend reading Lucky, Sebold’s earlier book instead, a non-fiction account of her own rape when she was 18.  It’s kind of like The Lovely Bones, only without the Hollywooden plot and scene stolen from Ghost, and you can read it without fear of spontaneously growing a vagina.

Read the rest of this entry »