Fans of the XXX franchise might recall a promo clip before Ice Cube’s State of the Union was released, in which a building blew up and the back of Xander Cage’s scalp splattered on the street. Well logic and science be damned, because XXX: The Return of Xander Cage has been picked up by Paramount and will hit theaters in late 2011 or early 2012.

If James Cameron’s Avatar changed the game, then hold on to your Oakleys because director Rob Cohen and Vin Diesel are going to change the X-game!!!uno! Let the bodies hit the floor, Coming Soon:

“I feel what we did in the beginning of the decade was bring a different attitude to the action movie and a different kind of hero,” Cohen told the site. “With the new 3D instrument and the techniques I can apply, we can create a different kind of cutting-edge experience in 3D by shooting it that way from the beginning the way James Cameron did ‘Avatar.’ This won’t be fantasy characters, it takes place on Earth in real time. That’s a new dimension to be explored, and I’m excited.”

That’s right, Xander Cage how you always wanted him, brah – in 3-D. Now when he hits the kick flip to wicked nose ollie back grind hammerhead tongue leap barrel cork on the unicycle to escape from the terrorist prison on the mountainous Island of Totally Rad, you’re gonna be all like, “I was like, when is he going to pull off some sick move to fly between bullets and outrun the titanium dragon, and then BAM! HE OUT RUNS THE MOTHER F-ING DRAGON!”

Also, in case you were on the edge of your seat, Samuel L. Jackson will return to reprise his role as Agent Augustus Gibbons, which is astounding, because he is so picky about his roles lately.

- Burnsy

In a financial downturn, everyone feels the sting, even the rich, the famous, the clay-faced.

Then there is comeback kid Mickey Rourke, who is poised to follow his Golden Globe-winning performance in “The Wrestler” with an offer to play the main villain in “Iron Man 2″ — but at a lowball opening offer of $250,000 from Marvel; Marvel’s tactics have already prompted Samuel L. Jackson to swear off playing Nick Fury because of a similarly low offer. [Variety]

Sam Jackson makes 1200 movies a year. A quarter million isn’t enough?   How many ex-wives does he have?  I know it’s embarrassing to get paid less than you’re worth, but so is starring in Jumper.  I like Sam Jackson, but let’s face it, his name doesn’t mean shit when it comes to selling the movie.  For his part, it’s unclear whether Rourke has accepted his offer.  My guess is he’ll take it, but begin tightening his belt. First step?  Slashing his belt budget, ironically.

Bernie Mac seemed like a cool guy, so I’d hate for him to go out like Raul Julia.  But I can’t ignore the fact that the new Red-Band trailer for Soul Men has both a guy getting hit in the face and a guy getting hit in the nuts.  Either one is the kiss of death (see The Rocker and Love Guru for other examples of this).  Lines I enjoyed:

“Skip on these muthaf-ckin nuts!”
“How you gone hit a nigga inna nuts?”
“I don’ like boy pussy no way.”

More for the rest of us, I say.

There’s no easy way to say this: they’re remaking The Last Dragon and Sam Jackson will play Sho’nuff, the role originally played by Julius Carry, who died in August.  Berry Gordy directed the original, his son is co-producing the remake, along with the RZA (that’s pronounced “Rizza”, dad).

The updated plot will be along the same lines of the original, centering on young martial arts student Leroy Green in his quest through the streets of New York to achieve the highest level of martial arts accomplishment, known as the Last Dragon.

[Columbia pictures president] said, “They will capture everything that people love about the original while also bringing a fresh edge to the remake.” [THR]

A cult classic is like a retard who farts in a museum.  Most of the beauty of it is the spontaneity and the fact that he had no idea what he was doing.  You can never recapture that magic and you’ll probably shit yourself trying.  Good for Sam Jackson though, he doesn’t get nearly enough work these days.

Wow, that was awesome. Nothing pairs with a cheesy superhero movie from the 30s like hard-boiled narration and artistic pretensions. This is gonna be the best thing since Batman & Robin. (I’ve included a clip of that after the jump for comparison)

“My name is The Octopus; I like eight of everything! You hear this, motherf-cker? This is motherf-ckin expository dialogue! MY MOTHERF-CKIN CHARACTER EXPLAINS THE MOTHERF-CKIN BACK STORY WITH MOTHERF-CKIN WORDS!”
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