What do you get when you hire Louis Leterrier (Unleashed, Transporter 2, and The Incredible Hulk) to remake Clash of the Titans as a pandering mashup of 300 and every “guy movie” made in the last five years?
And the tagline? TITANS. WILL. CLASH. Brilliant. I bet the marketing department went double pits to chesty when they thought up that one. Hard to tell what it’s actually about from the, but the synopsis claims it “follows Perseus (Sam Worthington) on his quest to battle Medusa and the Kraken in order to save the Princess Andromeda.” Yeah? And Prince Androgyna here thinks he’s going to save her? Pff, nice skirt, Fagamemnon. -This commentary provided by Diablo Cody.
UPDATE: Trailer now working and in HD
James Cameron’s Avatar doesn’t open until December 18th, but already it seems to have divided people dorks on the internet into pro and anti camps. I think the CG looks sorta cheesedick (see above) and I hate 3D, but effects are secondary anyway, and the film earned my cautious optimism based on Cameron’s track record alone.
This new trailer is pretty long and looks good overall. It inspires hope that Sam Worthington is finally in something that doesn’t suck as bad as Terminator Salvation, though it also reminds me that Michelle Rodriguez is in this — she’s so hardcore and Latina, you putos better recognize! Come to think of it, it seems kind of weird that Sam Worthington’s playing basically the same spy-who-abandons-his-infiltration-mission character in this as in Terminator Salvation. I’m thinking he can resolve this conflict with a simple heart transplant. Because the heart is literally all that matters, you guys.
The newest Avatar trailer hit theaters last night and now I have a copy of it because I’m a powerful sorcerer. It’s not the first trailer, obviously, but it gives you a much greater sense of what the plot of the movie will be — the short version is: something something something, PTERODACTYLS VS. HELICOPTERS! Slightly less short version: Sam Worthington and the other soldiers have to go to Pandora and kill all the dirty savages there so the government can have their diamonds. Then, maybe in a hundred years or so, the Na’avi will be allowed to drink a lot and own casinos. C’est la vie.
Also, I kinda wish the general’s speech at the beginning was more like, “Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to Pandora. With the help of our guns, we will make Pandora show her box to us. Then we will pound Pandora’s box. We will pound her box mercilessly until she agrees to give up the sweet, sweet diamonds inside.” I say a version of that to all my dates while the music from Patton plays.
[video via JoBlo, pictures via Movieweb - more pictures available there]
Below are 6 new pictures from Avatar (via ropeofsilicon). The excitement is palpable. Two guys with douchey haircuts fighting over who gets to use the tanning booth first! Giovanni Ribisi and Sigourney Weaver with their hands on their hips (meow)! Sam Worthington staring blankly! Michelle Rodriquez staring blankly while thinking about boobs (allegedly)!
(”How do you shoot women and children?” “Easy, you just use softer lighting!” [thanks, Donk])
This is how big a deal James Cameron’s Avatar is: on Monday, tickets to the 16-minute IMAX trailer playing August 21st will be distributed online. Tickets to a free screening of a trailer. Are available for free on Monday. And we’re reporting it on a Thursday.
The extended trailer, featuring an on-camera intro by director James Cameron, hits 101 Imax venues in the U.S. and Canada on Aug. 21 in a promo push announced at the recent Comic-Con International confab in San Diego. On the same date, theaters worldwide will begin showing more conventional 2D and 3D “Avatar” trailers.
“It will be two tickets to a customer to keep people from hoarding,” Fox distribution boss Bruce Snyder said Wednesday. “We expect a tremendous amount of interest from the fans who are aware of ‘Avatar.’ ”
The extended “Avatar” trailer will play just before and after separately ticketed performances for Warner Bros.’ “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.” At most of the specialty venues, the trailer will be shown between 6-7 p.m., running twice within the hour span. “I think it’s going to be a bit of a stampede,” Imax Filmed Entertainment chief Greg Foster said. “But I can’t wait for everyone to see the footage.” [THR]
I’ll be showing up hours early with my hair slicked, a fresh shave, and a fancy seersucker suit with a carnation in the pocket. I gotta look my best for the ladies, and with an extended trailer for a movie that doesn’t come out until December, I’m sure it will absolutely be wall to wall poontang.
