Comic-Con magazine has your first look at Sam Jackson as The Octopus in The Spirit, written and directed by Frank Miller.

It also ScarJo Reynolds as the Octopus’ secretary, Silken Floss, Eva Mendes as Sand Saref (yes, like the font), Jaime King as Lorelei Rox and Paz Vega as Plaster of Paris.  I’m still awaiting word on whether my cameo as Princess Sparklepony made the final cut.  

Anyway, I’m sure the movie will be really good because The Spirit is an old comic book that was a major influence on Frank Miller’s work.  So basically if Sin City and 300 are like Jenna Jameson pornos, this’ll be like a porno starring Jenna Jameson’s mom.  Mmm, I’m gettin all hot just thinking about it.

As I reported last week, at the end of the credits in Iron Man, Sam Jackson makes a cameo as Nick Fury (he’s a much better superhero than Charlie Vague Feelings of Contentment).  I’ve got buttcam footage of the scene after the jump.

Jackson emerges from the shadows to deliver lines most likely written by a Marvel Exec: “Think you’re the only superhero in the world?  Mr. Stark, you’ve become part of a bigger universe.  You just. don’t. know it yet.”

On another note, I’m glad I don’t watch movies at whatever theater this is.  I’d probably have to club the trained seals in the audience, and the law usually frowns upon that.  “*Gasp* Psst, it’s Samuel L. Jackson!  Ha!  Oh my gosh, did you hear what he just said?  YES! That was awesome. This is gonna be so great.  Hey, my shoes look funny in this light.  Dang, I should’ve shaved today.  Hmm, I feel like drinking a soda.  Damn, just when I have to stand up I got like half a boner going on. I wonder if anyone’ll notice.  Maybe tomorrow I’ll see a doctor about this constant need to verbalize my inner monolog problem.  Aw crap, people are staring at me again.” –[Picture source = here – Thanks to Robo for the tip]

Watch it on YouKu if the YouTube clip gets taken down

talking sequel.
Viacom head douche Sumner Redstone and Paramount CEO Brad Grey say that if the movie does as well as expected, they’ll greenlight a sequel for release in 2010.  What with the movie not even out yet, you might think talk of a sequel to be premature. Or maybe you’re just a little too quick to call everything "premature".  Have you been hanging out with my girlfriend?  Look, bitch, we’re just excited, okay?

Stick around for the end credits…
If you want to catch Sam Jackson as Nick Fury.  Alternatively, you can just watch any of the 653 other movies he’ll be in this year.  I see that motherf*cker on my TV even when it’s unplugged.  But, as Sexman says, nobody says "motherf*cker" like Sam.   

It’s already the best reviewed movie of 2008

Currently tracking 96% recommended on RottenTomatoes, it’s currently in the top spot of 2008, just ahead of U2-3D and Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  It’s also the highest rated superhero movie of all time.  Of course, with RottenTomatoes "thumbs up or thumbs down" style of compiling reviews, some of the great reviews included lines like "Dangerously dependant on Robert Downey Jr. for entertainment. He throws a one-man party during every scene. But when he’s off-screen, the film wilts."  Meanwhile, Daredevil is still recognized for Most Gravelly Affleck Voice Overs.

But what does Jesus think of it?

We often find superheroes, in their beginnings, to have physical weakness. In order to fight evil, they must overcome their disadvantage and become "strong in the broken place."

I think they have Kegel exercises for that.

To what extent do we rely upon our own strength and wisdom, and not on God’s? What emotional "armor" and masks do we wear? Where and how do we differentiate between protecting our privacy and being vulnerable, especially to people God can use to speak into our lives? What are the drugs—literal or metaphorical—we use to numb life’s pain? And how can God help us with these things? 

Who knew a movie so rich in explosions would also be so rich in vague, cheesy metaphors?  But I think it was Moses who once said, "Gwyneth Paltrow?  Really?  What the fuck, man." 

[Thanks to Jokerswild for the tip on the Christianity Today review] 

^{TRAILER AFTER THE JUMP} 

Directed by Frank Miller – best known as the artist behind Sin City and 300, The Spirit is an adaptation of a comic book Will Eisner started in 1940. (The film will star Gabriel Macht, Sam Jackson, Scarlett Johansson, and Eva Mendes.)

[Eisner's] seven-page weekly series is considered one of the comic-art medium’s most significant works, with Eisner creating or popularizing many of the styles, techniques, and storytelling conventions used by comics professionals decades later. [Wiki]

Which sucks for Eisner, ’cause you’ll probably watch this and go, "Dude, I’ve already seen this like 100 times."  And Will Eisner will be all like, "B-b-but mine was the first!"  Ha, just kidding, he’s dead.  Hey, know what’s black and white and red all over?  A skunk in a blender in a Tim Burton movie! (adapted from a graphic novel by Frank Miller)

UPDATE: I added the new movie poster and character poster of Eva Mendes as "Sand Seref".  I think I would’ve gone with "Verdonna", but whatever.  (mmm, font humor)

In Lakeview Terrace, Sam Jackson gets the chance to do what he seldom can in real life anymore – scare the crap out of white people. 

See, it’s a film about a black guy terrorizing an interracial couple who moves into his neighborhood.  And the black guy’s a cop.  Get it?  It’s like opposite day!  Does that mean we whities get to have big penises and sweet dance moves?  God I hope so.

Oh, and did I mention this is director Neil LaBute’s first movie since his 2006 Nic Cage remake of WICKER MAN?  I want to weaken this movie’s resistance with cocktails and then make sweet sweet love to it.  And just kidding about my dance moves, ladies. In fact, my pelvic thrusting once killed a man.  I make that whoosh sound from old kung fu movies that indicates high speed when I’m doing it.  I mean, my hips don’t actually make the whoosh sound, but I make it with my mouth while I’m thrusting, to help you imagine what it would be like if my hips did actually make the whoosh sound.