Unless you’re one of the seven people who watches the TV Guide channel, you probably missed their scintillating SAG Awards coverage the other night.  But fear not, that’s why we have the internet.  Here, Joey Fatone interviews James Franco.  I never thought anyone could out-awkward the MTV guy when it comes to James Franco interviews, but this comes close.

FATONE: I am here with James Franco, how’s it goin, man? Congratulations.
FRANCO: Thank you.
FATONE: Film nominee.
FRANCO: …Thank you.
FATONE: For Milk.
FRANCO: ……Yeah.  That’s the movie.  Yeah.
FATONE:  Milk.  …I just like sayin that, I don’t know why.
FRANCO:  Is that how you say it out in Brooklyn?
FATONE: Uh… No, I just say ‘Milk.’  That white stuff.  HA! No, but that’s something else.  Nevermind.

It’s like eavesdropping on the awkward shitty party you bailed on!  I’m assuming TV Guide Channel only hired Joey Fatone and Lisa Rinna for the tax break, like when Einstein Bagels gets retards to man the napkin dispenser.  Okay, guys, here are your microphones, try not to drool on anyone!

The Screen Actor’s Guild Awards (full list of winners after the jump) happened last night, and you’ll never guess who won Best Supporting Actor! Never in a million years! Meanwhile, Slumdog Millionaire won Best Peformance by an Ensemble Cast, despite the main character being a mouth-breathing, self-serious, sullen douchebag the entire movie.  I confess, his shitty lines didn’t help any.

Yo, Jamal, wanna come get loaded on whippits and throw dog turds at rickshaws?
I must.  It is my destiny.

Dude, Jamal, why are you in my living room jacking off to Jean Claude van Tran?
I must.  It is my destiny.

Whoa, Jamal, what’s up with the Klan robes? And is that… a baby… covered in… beer batter?
I must. It is my dest– oh God please help me, I’m sick! I just do things with no good reason!

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I didn’t know who this chick interviewing Casey Affleck at the SAG awards was at first.  Judging by her big fake boobs, baked potato tan, and over collagened lips, I thought maybe a stripper had found an even more degrading profession.

Anyway, apparently it’s Lisa Rinna.  You may remember her from… well, she was on some soap operas and crap back in the 90s.  Here she asks Casey Affleck some questions while taking the novel approach of not waiting for him to answer.  It ends with him saying he’ll say anything to get away from her, and her asking him what kind of gum he’s chewing and thinking the question was so amazing that she demands a high five. Sounds like a success to me!  

[Thanks to "RoboPanda" for the tip] 

The Sean Penn-directed drama Into the Wild led all other features with four Screen Actors Guild Awards nominations.  I asked an actor why it’s called "Screen Actors Guild" and not "Screen Actors’ Guild" and he just looked at me like I was speaking Chinese, so I ordered a latte.

"Into the Wild" received a leading four Screen Actors Guild Awards nominations Thursday, including honors for lead actor Emile Hirsch and supporting players Hal Holbrook and Catherine Keener.
…"Into the Wild" also was nominated for performance by its overall cast, along with the Western "3:10 to Yuma," the crime sagas "American Gangster" and "No Country for Old Men," and the musical "Hairspray."
…Conspicuously absent from the guild field was the British romantic melodrama [as opposed to a detached melodrama, or an austere melodrama, I suppose] "Atonement," which was shut out after leading the Golden Globe nominations a week earlier with seven nominations.

You can see the full list of nominees here, but I may as well just tell you, Kurt Russell got snubbed again.