It’s weird to be sitting here watching the trailer for Hugo, Martin Scorsese’s first attempt at a “kids” movie (based on The Invention of Hugo Cabret), starring Sacha Baron Cohen, Chloe Moretz, and Ben Kingsley, when less than 24 hours ago I saw Joe Pesci squeeze a guy’s head in a vice until his eyeball popped in Casino (which is on Netflix Instant right now). But as Adam Carolla so often points out, people who make stuff for kids are usually hacks who weren’t good enough to make stuff for adults (Pixar exempted, obviously), so maybe a guy famous for making adult movies is the perfect choice for a kids flick. Wait, don’t misinterpret me when I say “adult movies…”

Anyway, it opens November 23rd, and am I wrong for thinking this looks… really good? The music choice is a little weird, but it has an amazing cast, and talk about eye candy. It’s surprisingly refreshing to see someone do “childlike wonder” without all the super-fast cuts, talking animals, or people dancing to hip hop. And as good as it is at trimming the fat, it still doesn’t skimp on the reaction shots of dogs groaning (1:50). OH F*CK YEAH ANIMALS BEING AMUSED BY HUMAN FOIBLES! I hope there’s more where that came from. Who wants to really high with me this November?

Here we have the first official picture (a “one-sheet”, they call it) for The Dictator, starring Sacha Baron Cohen, from director Larry Charles (Religulous, Bruno).  Not to be confused with the upcoming Blue Collar Comedy vehicle, Tater Dick. Anyway, the film’s about a Saddam Hussein-like dictator who gets replaced by a look-alike goat herder and starts a new life in New York City.  Which sounds lame, and basically like the plot of Justin Bieber’s girlfriend’s new movie, until you realize The Dictator is actually based on a book written by Hussein himself.  You’ll probably like it, because if you reading this blog is any indication, you clearly enjoy a writer who’s well hung. (*dodges tomato*) (*dodges shoe*)

“Zabibah and the King” is about a benevolent, beloved king who falls in love with a beautiful, victimized girl who was raped by her cruel husband. Believe it or not, it’s a subtle allegory for Iraq and the United States — the king (based, obviously, on Saddam) is the peaceful Iraq, while the cruel, rapist husband is the Gulf War-waging United States.
The log line from Paramount, the film’s production home, turns subverts the premise, saying, “The film tells the heroic story of a dictator who risked his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed.” [HuffPo]

Ahh yes, the purple mountains, the amber waves of rape, it’s like I finally understand what all those Mellencamp songs were about.  Anyway, a lot people seem to be down on Sacha Cohen these days, but even when I don’t find his stuff laugh-out-loud funny, I still admire his enormous brass balls and find myself compelled by the social experiment aspects. That said, between the funny hair, garish costume, and requisite sunglasses, this isn’t much different than the posters for Marmaduke or The Smurfs.  All he needs is a dumb tagline, like “Who’s your daddy?”

While I’m all sorts of giddy for his upcoming portrayal of Queen frontman Freddie Mercury, Sacha Baron Cohen will first tackle the role of Saddam Hussein in The Dictator, which is based on the book “Zabibah and the King.” It isn’t apparent that this will be a comedic take on the former Iraqi President’s life, but the press release from Paramount claims that the film “tells the heroic story of a dictator who risked his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed” so there’s a decent chance that it’s a comedy. Also, it’s being directed by Larry Charles, so who am I kidding?

Fingers crossed that he plays it super gay and changes the name to “Weapons of Sass Destruction”. But make me into a Zabibah belieber, Time News Feed…

The Dictator is set for release in May 2012 but what of the source text, which was originally published anonymously in 2000? A look on Amazon reveals that Zabibah and the King is the “allegorical love story between a mighty king (Saddam) and a simple, yet beautiful commoner named Zabibah (the Iraqi people). Zabibah is married to a cruel and unloving husband (the United States) who forces himself upon her against her will.” The book was set in mid to late 600 AD, but it’s unknown if the movie is going to be a modern retelling or not.

Amazon? Are we too lazy to check Wikipedia today? I kid, I kid, I checked Wikipedia and the only additional info that it provided was that Zabibah’s husband regularly raped her. Haha, stop Wikipedia, you’re getting me all bothered! Saddam originally added his name to the book as if he wrote it, but it is believed that he didn’t have anything to do with it. I say we kill him again just to be sure.

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A photographer and not-at-all-fame-seeking-bottom-feeder named Mike Skiff has filed a lawsuit against Sacha Baron Cohen and the crew of Bruno over a 2008 incident in which Skiff claims he was assaulted at a Prop 8 rally (the proposition that banned gay marriage in California).  Skiff even caught the event on YouTube, which you can watch below.  It’s terrifying, in that you can clearly see a member of the Bruno crew stretching Skiff’s hoodie vest.

According to the lawsuit, filed today in L.A. County Superior Court, members of the “Bruno” crew “carried ‘Yes on Proposition 8′ signs contrived for the sole purpose of inciting and sparking unrest to enhance the dramatic effect of what they may capture for their film.”

In the suit, Skiff claims he began to shoot the “Bruno” team when they approached him — “violently confronting [Skiff] with the threat of being clubbed with wooden signs.” ['violently confronting with the threat,' i.e. a threat that wasn't actually violent. -Ed] Skiff says the alleged attack was designed to prevent him from filming the event.  Skiff claims he was shoved, pulled and wrestled by  “Bruno”  — causing serious injury. [TMZ]

And by “filming the event,” Skiff apparently means “jumping between Sacha Cohen and the other cameramen while yelling, ‘Bruno! Bruno!’”

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In a deal that could very well change the way you look at life forever, Isla Fisher impregnator Sacha Baron Cohen has signed on to play Queen singer Freddie Mercury in a biopic about his life. The film will take place in the periods leading up to Live Aid, when Mercury was the world’s biggest rock star, spending sleepless nights in heaps of gorgeous female groupies… *handed misspelled note from Chodin* Really? Just dudes, you say?

Peter Morgan will write the script, which means it should be both factually accurate and ass-kickingly entertaining since he wrote Frost/Nixon and The Last King of Scotland. Fact: While reading Morgan’s script for Scotland, Forest Whitaker’s eyes went normal. But as soon as he opened the Vantage Point script – POP! – back to googly.

Hey Deadline, does Beezlebub have a devil put aside for me, for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

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