While I’m all sorts of giddy for his upcoming portrayal of Queen frontman Freddie Mercury, Sacha Baron Cohen will first tackle the role of Saddam Hussein in The Dictator, which is based on the book “Zabibah and the King.” It isn’t apparent that this will be a comedic take on the former Iraqi President’s life, but the press release from Paramount claims that the film “tells the heroic story of a dictator who risked his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed” so there’s a decent chance that it’s a comedy. Also, it’s being directed by Larry Charles, so who am I kidding?

Fingers crossed that he plays it super gay and changes the name to “Weapons of Sass Destruction”. But make me into a Zabibah belieber, Time News Feed…

The Dictator is set for release in May 2012 but what of the source text, which was originally published anonymously in 2000? A look on Amazon reveals that Zabibah and the King is the “allegorical love story between a mighty king (Saddam) and a simple, yet beautiful commoner named Zabibah (the Iraqi people). Zabibah is married to a cruel and unloving husband (the United States) who forces himself upon her against her will.” The book was set in mid to late 600 AD, but it’s unknown if the movie is going to be a modern retelling or not.

Amazon? Are we too lazy to check Wikipedia today? I kid, I kid, I checked Wikipedia and the only additional info that it provided was that Zabibah’s husband regularly raped her. Haha, stop Wikipedia, you’re getting me all bothered! Saddam originally added his name to the book as if he wrote it, but it is believed that he didn’t have anything to do with it. I say we kill him again just to be sure.

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A photographer and not-at-all-fame-seeking-bottom-feeder named Mike Skiff has filed a lawsuit against Sacha Baron Cohen and the crew of Bruno over a 2008 incident in which Skiff claims he was assaulted at a Prop 8 rally (the proposition that banned gay marriage in California).  Skiff even caught the event on YouTube, which you can watch below.  It’s terrifying, in that you can clearly see a member of the Bruno crew stretching Skiff’s hoodie vest.

According to the lawsuit, filed today in L.A. County Superior Court, members of the “Bruno” crew “carried ‘Yes on Proposition 8′ signs contrived for the sole purpose of inciting and sparking unrest to enhance the dramatic effect of what they may capture for their film.”

In the suit, Skiff claims he began to shoot the “Bruno” team when they approached him — “violently confronting [Skiff] with the threat of being clubbed with wooden signs.” ['violently confronting with the threat,' i.e. a threat that wasn't actually violent. -Ed] Skiff says the alleged attack was designed to prevent him from filming the event.  Skiff claims he was shoved, pulled and wrestled by  “Bruno”  — causing serious injury. [TMZ]

And by “filming the event,” Skiff apparently means “jumping between Sacha Cohen and the other cameramen while yelling, ‘Bruno! Bruno!’”

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In a deal that could very well change the way you look at life forever, Isla Fisher impregnator Sacha Baron Cohen has signed on to play Queen singer Freddie Mercury in a biopic about his life. The film will take place in the periods leading up to Live Aid, when Mercury was the world’s biggest rock star, spending sleepless nights in heaps of gorgeous female groupies… *handed misspelled note from Chodin* Really? Just dudes, you say?

Peter Morgan will write the script, which means it should be both factually accurate and ass-kickingly entertaining since he wrote Frost/Nixon and The Last King of Scotland. Fact: While reading Morgan’s script for Scotland, Forest Whitaker’s eyes went normal. But as soon as he opened the Vantage Point script – POP! – back to googly.

Hey Deadline, does Beezlebub have a devil put aside for me, for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

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I didn’t report the story about Sacha Baron Cohen and some writers from Curb Your Enthusiasm shopping around a comedy pitch, but that was before goats were involved.  Apparently, four studios were interested in the project, but Cohen went with Paramount when they made him an offer he couldn’t refuse: a goat in a t-shirt.

In the end, 4 studios [sic] said “yes” to the project and even to Sacha’s gross ask. So that’s when Paramount sent the goats (there were two goats sent by the studio: one to WME headquarters, and the other to its client Sacha, both wearing Paramount T-shirts and trailing animal handlers). Because Adam Goodman, Rob Moore and Brad Grey really wanted this pic. And then it came down to Paramount vs Sony. Paramount won by essentially committing to make the movie. And the only way it’s not made is if Sasha does not approve the script. (He also has approval over all the elements.) We’ve learned that Sacha gets $20 million against 20% first-dollar gross [a rare and big deal].

In the laugher, Sacha Baron Cohen (repped by WME) plays dual roles: both a goat herder and a deposed foreign dictator who gets lost in the United States. Cohen wants to keep the storyline close to the vest, but we’re told it’s in the spirit of Coming To America meets Trading Places. It will be his next film. Not only is Cohen starring, but he’s also writing the film with the three Curb Your Enthusiasm scribes — writers Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, and David Mandel — and all four are producing. The quartet went to 6 studios in 2 days pitching for an hour each. (“They all kind of came up with the pitch together. And one of the reasons this was so special is that the whole storyline was fleshed out, including all the main comedy scenes, by Sacha during the pitch.”)  [Deadline]

I don’t care what you guys say, I still like Sacha Cohen.  But I think they could’ve saved a lot of money by just sending the goat to Gary Busey’s office and filming it while they argued politics.  Of course the goat would have to wear a powdered wig, that way Gary Busey would address it as “your honor.”

Martin Scorsese is 67 years old, but like this colonist on a Segway and my stepdad masturbating on Chat Roulette, he’s proving that you’re never too old to embrace new trends.  Variety confirms that Scorsese’s next film, an adaptation of the children’s book The Invention Of Hugo Cabret starring Sacha Baron Cohen and Ben Special K Kingsley and set for release in December 2011, will be filmed in 3D.

Based on Brian Selznick’s bestselling children’s book, “Hugo Cabret” is set in 1930s Paris and centers on a 12-year-old orphan who must solve the mystery of a broken robot.

Well sure, why not.  That Scorsese would choose to film it in 3D isn’t surprising in light of recent comments he made that he could imagine anything in 3D, even Precious.

“We see in depth, for the most part. We go to the theater — it’s in depth. Why couldn’t a film like Precious be in 3-D? It should be … It just seems natural that we’d be going in that direction. It’s going to be something to look forward to, but to be used interestingly.” [AP via /film]

I heard they held an initial screening of Precious in 3D, but after an ugly incident in which a confused and hungry Gabourey Sidibe mistakenly tried to steal a bucket of chicken from herself, the rest of the 3D run was canceled.  …Whatever, you’re going to hell.