Directed by Larry Charles (Bruno, Borat, Religulous, Curb Your Enthusiasm), The Dictator stars kosher British Jew Sacha Baron Cohen as the leader of a fictional Middle Eastern country who “risks his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed.”

It was reportedly based on Zabibah and the King, a romance novel believed to have been written by Saddam Hussein. Now, when a movie stars a guy who acted flamboyantly gay on a hunting trip with real-life, gun-toting rednecks in Alabama, uses as its source material a book written by a delusional dictator who was murdered by his people (with our peoples’ help, of course), and was directed by a guy who’s now spent half his career baiting homophobes and religious types, you expect a certain, ground-breakingly ballsy kind of comedy (YOU BROKE MY GROUND WITH YOUR BALLS!). What you get, according to the trailer is…

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This may be one of my new favorite headlines I’ve ever written, and the best part is, it’s all true! Variety reports that Sacha Baron Cohen is in final talks to join Tarantino’s Django Unchained, alongside the previously cast Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio, Don Johnson, RZA from the Wu Tang, and Kurt Russell. Kerry Washington will play Broomhilda. My God, give that coke wizard a raise.

Story follows a slave-turned-bounty hunter (Foxx) on a mission to rescue his wife from her sadistic slavemaster. In one of the last big parts to be cast for the film, Cohen would play Scotty, a gambler who buys Django’s wife as a female companion.
Though the part is small, sources said Tarantino was very particular on who he wanted to play it, given the character’s importance to the story.
Production is expected to get under way in early 2012 with The Weinstein Co. planning its Stateside release for Dec. 25, 2012. [Variety]

BIM SKALA BOOM SKALA SQUIM ZALA SWAN, A TALL BRITISH HEBREW SHALL BE YOUR SLAVE’S JOHN! (*covers self with cloak* *loud bang* *disappears in puff of smoke*)

(*Alan Ball’s mynah birds cackle in the distance*)

I first told you about Richelle Olson’s lawsuit against Sacha Cohen and the producers of Bruno back in June 2009. It sounded like bullsh*t even then, so it’s not surprising that a lower court and then an appeals court both ruled as much. Now an appeals court has affirmed Universal’s motion make Olson pay their attorneys’ fees, which, as much as it’s a faceless corporation triumphing over an old lady in a wheelchair, actually seems fair.

But by far my favorite part of the story is the details it reveals about the original case, which are hilarious. Or at least, as hilarious as an incident that ends with an old lady getting paralyzed could ever be.

Cohen, NBC Universal, and other production companies on Bruno were sued in 2009 by Richelle Olson and her husband after allegedly being subjected to a confrontation that resulted in injuries including a “brain bleed.”

The incident in question happened on May 24, 2007 at Olson’s bingo hall. Cohen, acting as “Bruno,” was invited up to the stage to call out the numbers. The film crew was present, and all of the elderly people in attendance had signed a “Standard Consent Agreement” to be filmed for a “documentary-style film.”

Universal submitted 28 minutes of unedited footage showing what happened. According to a footnote in the latest appeals court decision:

“After Cohen called out the Bingo number 36, he states that “36″ was the age of his former male partner. Later, when he calls out the number 3, he says that his former partner’s birthday was “May 3.” When he later calls out the number 59, he remarks that 59 was the number of his hotel room he stayed in when he met his former partner, and a few minutes later when he announces number 42, Cohen offers that “42 inches was his partner’s chest size. Finally, after Cohen announces the number 7, he comments that he met his partner on “July 7.” Some members of the audience can be heard laughing after each comment.”

Bear with me, it’s about to get good. See if you can find my favorite line in this next blockquote:

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It’s weird to be sitting here watching the trailer for Hugo, Martin Scorsese’s first attempt at a “kids” movie (based on The Invention of Hugo Cabret), starring Sacha Baron Cohen, Chloe Moretz, and Ben Kingsley, when less than 24 hours ago I saw Joe Pesci squeeze a guy’s head in a vice until his eyeball popped in Casino (which is on Netflix Instant right now). But as Adam Carolla so often points out, people who make stuff for kids are usually hacks who weren’t good enough to make stuff for adults (Pixar exempted, obviously), so maybe a guy famous for making adult movies is the perfect choice for a kids flick. Wait, don’t misinterpret me when I say “adult movies…”

Anyway, it opens November 23rd, and am I wrong for thinking this looks… really good? The music choice is a little weird, but it has an amazing cast, and talk about eye candy. It’s surprisingly refreshing to see someone do “childlike wonder” without all the super-fast cuts, talking animals, or people dancing to hip hop. And as good as it is at trimming the fat, it still doesn’t skimp on the reaction shots of dogs groaning (1:50). OH F*CK YEAH ANIMALS BEING AMUSED BY HUMAN FOIBLES! I hope there’s more where that came from. Who wants to really high with me this November?

Here we have the first official picture (a “one-sheet”, they call it) for The Dictator, starring Sacha Baron Cohen, from director Larry Charles (Religulous, Bruno).  Not to be confused with the upcoming Blue Collar Comedy vehicle, Tater Dick. Anyway, the film’s about a Saddam Hussein-like dictator who gets replaced by a look-alike goat herder and starts a new life in New York City.  Which sounds lame, and basically like the plot of Justin Bieber’s girlfriend’s new movie, until you realize The Dictator is actually based on a book written by Hussein himself.  You’ll probably like it, because if you reading this blog is any indication, you clearly enjoy a writer who’s well hung. (*dodges tomato*) (*dodges shoe*)

“Zabibah and the King” is about a benevolent, beloved king who falls in love with a beautiful, victimized girl who was raped by her cruel husband. Believe it or not, it’s a subtle allegory for Iraq and the United States — the king (based, obviously, on Saddam) is the peaceful Iraq, while the cruel, rapist husband is the Gulf War-waging United States.
The log line from Paramount, the film’s production home, turns subverts the premise, saying, “The film tells the heroic story of a dictator who risked his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed.” [HuffPo]

Ahh yes, the purple mountains, the amber waves of rape, it’s like I finally understand what all those Mellencamp songs were about.  Anyway, a lot people seem to be down on Sacha Cohen these days, but even when I don’t find his stuff laugh-out-loud funny, I still admire his enormous brass balls and find myself compelled by the social experiment aspects. That said, between the funny hair, garish costume, and requisite sunglasses, this isn’t much different than the posters for Marmaduke or The Smurfs.  All he needs is a dumb tagline, like “Who’s your daddy?”