FRIEND SQUAD ASSEMBLE!

Ryan Gosling, that sweet, puppy-loving drink of lemon meringue from the land of maple syrup, famously broke up a street fight in progress back in June (though news of the event didn’t break until a few weeks ago). What had happened was, gentlemen had a disagreement over a painting, which was about to devolve into a donnybrook, when out of nowhere, Baby Goose showed up and gave the aggressor half a hug. That’s when the sky opened up and it rained waffle cones, and everyone shared a milk shake with a hundred straws while the Beach Boys played a live concert and a yellow lab with a red bandanna around his neck ran around licking everyone’s faces. Some say the giggling could be heard from space.

Baby Goose has finally broken his legendary silence about the event in an interview with MTV (video below), and this is what he had to say:

“I’m embarrassed. I think that guy really was stealing that other guy’s painting, so I shoulda just kept my nose out of it. It was sad, because it turns out that… I said to the guy, “Why you doing this?” And he said, “Because he’s stealing my painting.” and I said, “Well how do you know?” and he said, “Because he comes here every day and looks at my paintings.”

Which means the guy was a fan. And he wanted the painting so bad he had to steal it because he couldn’t afford it. So he finally steals the painting and then he’s getting his ass kicked by his hero. And then the guy from The Notebook shows up and makes it weirder. And it just… the whole thing, nobody wins. Nobody won.

And uh, you know what, I had just come from the gymnasium, and I was all… stretched out, and feeling… feeling warmed up. So, I’m embarrassed.”

Oh, Baby Goose, I think I speak for all of Huggalo Nation when I say that there’s no need for you to feel embarrassed. Seeing the good in people is just part of the Baby Goose Philosophy. Its central tenet, in fact. “Here, girl, I wrote you a song about it on the ukulele. You can sing along — it’s to the tune of ‘Baby Beluga.’”

Read the rest of this entry »

Huggalos rejoice, it’s a Ryan Gosling story! So Canada’s hottest export, that snuggly bundle of politeness and butterscotch pudding, Ryan Gosling, was recently spotted canoodling† with Eva Mendes, his co-star in the upcoming Place Beyond the Pines. Word on the street is that she could be Baby Goose’s new girlfriend, because he took her to Disneyland, and that’s totally his move. “Hey, girl. Lemme see those C-cups on the teacups, nah mean?” -From the upcoming Baby Goose/Channing Tatum body swap comedy.

Paparazzi snapped the “Crazy Stupid Love” heartthrob, 30, getting smoochy at the California theme park with sexy Eva Mendes, 37, his co-star in “The Place Beyond the Pines,” in which they play husband and wife.

I’ve been sad ever since Baby Goose broke up with fellow talented, adorable Canadian Rachel McAdams, so it’s hard to see him with another woman. My God, they’re both so cute, their baby would’ve come out covered in glitter and Lucky Charms marshmallows. But at the end of the day, all I really want is for Baby Goose to be happy.

The head-turning couple — both sporting baseball caps — were spotted over the weekend playing games, going on rides and wearing 3-D glasses. According to Us magazine, Mendes even fed Gosling “churros, cotton candy and corn on the cob.”

(*Eva Mendes feeds Baby Goose a churro*)
“Mmm, I’ve never had Mexican food before! Haha, interracial dating is super neat. Here, girl, sample the cuisine of my people.”(*feeds Eva Mendes cotton candy*)

Read the rest of this entry »

The 68th Venice Film Festival begins tomorrow, and the 11-day event will be highlighted by tomorrow’s highly-anticipated premiere of The Ides of March, a political drama starring George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, and a few thousand pairs of moist panties. Clooney and Baby Goose will hit the red carpet in Venice for the debut, and they’ll be followed by co-stars Paul Giamatti and Philip Seymour Hoffman, who will undoubtedly be pelted with rotten vegetables for being so damn unattractive.

Ides will be up against 22 other films for the festival’s Golden Lion award, but there’s no chance that any of them will have a cast as handsome as this. Even if Brad Pitt played every character in Moneyball, it wouldn’t hold a candle to The Ides of March. People keep talking about Madonna’s directorial effort W.E., starring James D’Arcy, but he sure as hell couldn’t break up a fight over artwork in the middle of a street.

Sadly, us ugly people can’t see Ides until October 7, so we’ll just have to hope that when the beautiful people step outside to have their rings kissed and velvet capes stroked, they’ll tell us of the spectacle that they witnessed, undoubtedly in something called 5D, since they were given 7 senses by the gods. Oh to be beautiful. In the meantime, I’ve included the trailer after the jump, and you can feel like royalty as you watch it while drinking a St. Ides Special Brew. Pinkies out.

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s hard for a die-hard Huggalo like me to imagine that anyone needed further proof that Ryan Gosling is a human rainbow wrapped in kitten fur and sprinkled with confectioner’s sugar, but in case you don’t believe that the street fight he broke up went down the way everyone says it did, there’s a new interview with the witness to prove it. The guys from OMGICU caught up with Valerie, the girl who filmed the original video, and asked for her account of the incident.

Basically, what happened was that the black dude on the right is a painter who hangs out at Astor Place and St. Marks every day selling paintings. The day of the incident (which was June 24th, not Saturday, as US Weekly and others reported), the older white guy in glasses came by and snagged a painting without paying. The painter chased him down and grabbed him in the middle of the street and they started to scuffle. That’s when, out of nowhere, Baby Goose showed up like a ray of pure maple syrup from the heavens and sweetened everyone’s pancakes.

“He really did save the day. When at the end, I by mistake turned the camera off, Ryan took [the painter] to the corner and asked him what happened. And this guy explained to him, this guy stole my painting. And so [Baby Goose] said, “Well, how can we fix this? How much is the painting?”

And he said, well it’s ten dollars. So he dug into his wallet, took out a 20, gave it to the guy, and said, ‘Does this settle his debt now?’ And he said yeah. And they stopped fighting and everything was alright. [...] People are saying it was staged — it was not staged. He did that out of the kindness of his heart.”

Hey, girl. I was going to use this money to buy candy, but you know what’s sweeter? Friendship.

Hey girl, I know a guy who’s perfect for you. His name is Andrew Jackson. [Thanks, Burnsy]

Hey girl, I supported the arts today. [Thanks, Danger]

Hey, girl. Momma always said, friendliness is next to Goslingness.

Hey, girl. Look what I found behind your ear! Haha, just kidding, girl, I could never lie to you. It was in my pocket. But you can have it.

Hey, girl. Aren’t black people scary? Try giving him some money.

Hey, girl. I didn’t say that last thing, it was my evil twin, Bizarro Goose. He’s always trying to make me look bad. He has a soul patch. I still love him though. Haha, family!

Read the rest of this entry »

"Haha, I love your costume, girl. But let's get some clothes on you, I wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea."

Ryan Gosling, everyone’s favorite cuddly bundle of sunbeam kittens, was the subject of this month’s Esquire cover story, and as always, there’s plenty to learn about the one we call Baby Goose. He’s so complex but pleasant, getting to know Baby Goose is like peeling an onion, only inside every layer there’s a cadbury cream egg. Actually, maybe he’s more like an Advent calendar — plenty of compartments, but inside each one, PURE SWEETNESS!

To the quotes!

Ryan Gosling reveals: His apartment is full of skeletons. “I give them nervous systems made from Christmas lights.” He pulls out his phone, thumbs his way through his photos, and says, “Look.” It is the second floor of his apartment, and there is a skeleton, bone white and incandescent, standing, or hanging somehow in the window. “I made the table, too,” Gosling says. “From a church door.”

Hey, girl, even the dead deserve Christmas presents. Here, I made you a personalized hymn book. On the last page, there’s one I wrote for you.

Know this much about Ryan Gosling: Man loves candy. He speaks of it the way rich men discuss wine; he picks it from the shelves like he’s working piano keys. He knows where it lives on the racks — low or high, above what display, betwixt whatever chocolates squat there. (Gosling has no use for chocolate.) Five stops at bodegas, and one at this 7-Eleven, and in each case Ryan Gosling sniffs out the florid Japanese gelatin as if he lived on the block, as if he shopped there every damned day. Its very presence seems to comfort him. “This is the stuff,” he says, in aisle two of four. Then he piles them on the countertop. Kazoozles atop Nerds Ropes, twin packs of Hi-Chews, green apple and grape. He also feels strongly about Haribos, especially the multiflavored bag. “I like to call this the next level of candy,” he says. “Hi-Chews! Look at these! It’s the candy that never quits on you. This candy is always worth the price. There used to be a candy called Bonkers, which I believe to be the greatest candy of all time.” He pours coffee for both of us, with as much sugar as he can get in, and turns to the register before he continues. “For some reason, they discontinued Bonkers. These are good, you’ll see,” he says, holding up the Hi-Chews. Then he hands me my coffee and says with a smile, “Sugar till you die.”

My God, he’s like Will Ferrell in Elf. Not an Earthling, but a visitor from the land of whimsy, a blinding ray of pure innocence.

Read the rest of this entry »