(Update: I put the trailer after the jump to make the page load faster)
Pixar consistently blows my mind with their stories and melts my face off with their animation, while the rest of the animation world does 15 variations on chihuahuas eating tacos and kangaroos that box. But this trailer for Despicable Me (from Universal and Illumination Entertainment) looks promising. If only because it kept making me go “Wha?” and I still don’t know what it’s about. Here’s the official rundown:
In a happy suburban neighborhood surrounded by white picket fences with flowering rose bushes, sits a black house with a dead lawn. Unbeknownst to the neighbors, hidden beneath this home is a vast secret hideout. Surrounded by a small army of minions, we discover Gru planning the biggest heist in the history of the world. He is going to steal the moon, yes, the moon. Gru delights in all things wicked. Armed with his arsenal of shrink rays, freeze rays, and battle-ready vehicles for land and air, he vanquishes all who stand in his way. Until the day he encounters the immense will of three little orphaned girls who look at him and see something that no one else has ever seen: a potential Dad. [Yahoo]
Aw, how cute, it’s a metaphor for dating a stripper. I stuff my dollars inside the hole in their heart.
Russell Brand (CUT YOUR GD HAIR!) is set to supply the voice of the Easter bunny in I Hop - a project that got greenlit when it should’ve gotten the guy who thought of it socked in the arm. (*sigh*) No one has good friends anymore.
Tim Hill, who previously mixed live action and CGI characters on “Alvin and the Chipmunks,” will direct.
Tale revolves around an out-of-work slacker who runs over the Easter Bunny while driving home late. Since the bunny can’t hop with a broken leg, the slacker is pressed into duty to save Easter. The film becomes a two-hander between the iconic holiday critter and the slacker, each of whom is running from adulthood. [Variety]
I hope Tim Allen plays the guy who has to become the Easter Bunny. Each day his ears get a little longer and he gets a little fuzzier. And one day he’ll be sitting on the marriage counselor’s couch with his wife and the doctor will ask, “So how’s your love life?” And his wife will giggle, “Actually, doc, it’s the strangest thing, I don’t know what’s come over him, but ever since a week ago, we’ve been making love like rabbits!” (*canned laughter*)
Also: Wouldn’t this be a funnier concept if the Easter Bunny ran over some loser and then had to take over his job at IHOP? “Hey, Bunny, where the f*ck is my lingonberry butter?” So ironic.
Like a feverish coma nightmare, Drop Dead Fred is one of those bizarre and crappy late 80s/early 90s films that I’d all but repressed the memory of. Until today, when Universal announced it’s going to remake it with Russell Brand.
The 1991 original starred Phoebe Cates as a wallflower who loses her job and husband during the course of a lunch hour. Forced to live back home, she’s reunited with her childhood imaginary friend (Brit actor Rik Mayall), who promises to help but causes more havoc. The first “Fred” was critically drubbed and commercially unsuccessful. But it did achieve a certain cult status and is considered a film that fell short of its full potential. [THR]
EXEC 1: So we’ve got Russell Brand under contract. We need to find him a project.
EXEC 2: Who’s Russell Brand?
EXEC 1: He’s that annoying British guy with stupid hair.
EXEC 2: Hmm… You know, Drop Dead Fred was about an annoying British guy with stupid hair.
EXEC 1: Drop Dead Fred? That has to be the worst idea I’ve ev- oh hey, it’s lunch time.
Vanity Fair is back doing what they do best: taking pictures of famous people in funny costumes. This feature is called Comedy’s New Legends and includes Paul Rudd (that’s him on the right), Seth Rogen (left), Jonah Hill, Jason Segel, Danny McBride, Will Arnette, Amy Poehler, Leslie Mann, Jason Bateman, Anna Faris, Bill Hader, and Russell Brand. I know Russell Brand is big in England and all, but he’s gonna have to do something really funny really soon to make me not want to punch him in the kidneys until he washes his goddamned hair. Anyway, check out some of the pictures below and see the rest over at Vanity Fair, where you can also read the part where they justify these with words. If you ask me, they should’ve just taken a picture of someone lighting a fart. Is that ever not funny?
A few weeks back I reported on rumors that the studio was looking at Russell Brand for the part of Johnny Depp’s sidekick in Pirates of the Carribbean 4. Now those rumors are being confirmed… by The Sun.
The deal to play Jonathan, younger brother of Johnny Depp’s character, could be worth £5million. A source said: “There couldn’t be a role more perfectly suited. There’s a lot of Jack Sparrow in his mannerisms and behaviour. Depp’s accent isn’t a million miles away from Russell’s either.”
Reading news in the British press is about the same as hearing it from your aunt’s neighbor’s cousin’s plumber’s Filipino ladyboy-slave. This one might be true, but keep in mind these are the same people who reported Cher would play Catwoman in the next Batman movie. Also note: two separate sources chose to illustrate this story with a photoshopped picture. The Daily Mail even went so far as to put a copyright symbol at the bottom of theirs. I feel this bears repeating: A mainstream media outlet pasted Russell Brand’s face on Johnny Depp’s body, and then claimed a copyright on it. This is a joke, right? Some dry British thing that we missed? Oy claims a copyroight, Oy did. Me maites n oy’s gonna hav a propa laff about dis one, else Oy ain’t dog’s your uncle lorrie bobby lift, eh guv?
