All right, first thing is first – we ain’t getting political here. I’m just reporting some movie news. That said, John Cusack is about to get all political on our asses. The star of Gross Pointe Blank and that terrible movie where he gets stuck in that hotel room and he can never leave and Samuel L. Jackson is yelling at him about it is developing a film entitled Rush, apparently about the life of bloated sack of wind radio mouthpiece Rush Limbaugh. “This is great,” said nobody, because this will only lead to a complete mess.

So why the hell would Cusack and director Betty Thomas even bother with this nonsense, Yahoo!?

Limbaugh is in the front ranks of colorful and provocative media figures. Earlier this year, Limbaugh called a Georgetown law student a “slut” and a “prostitute” on air for arguing to Democrats in Congress that health plans should pay for contraception.

Oh no he didn’t!

This week, the host mocked Republican New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie for his “bromance” with Obama after Christie praised the president’s response to the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy.

Bromance! Topical! But Cusack as Rush Limbaugh? That doesn’t make sense.

Cusack as Limbaugh isn’t typecasting, politics aside. Cusack is a slender, dark-haired 46-year-old, while Limbaugh is 61, balding and portly. But Hollywood’s makeup experts have probably had greater challenges.

Oh snap, Yahoo!. Oh snap, indeed. But the important question is, what does Yahoo! commenter Buckethead think about this?

John Cusak. Another piece of Hollywood garbage and communist.

Well said, Mr. Head. Well said.

This just in: Rush Limbaugh is an idiot, and political pundits make outrageous statements so that people will pay attention to them. A transcript from his show yesterday:

RUSH: Have you heard this new movie, the Batman movie, what is it, The Dark Knight Lights Up or whatever the name is.  That’s right, Dark Knight Rises. Lights Up, same thing.  Do you know the name of the villain in this movie?  Bane.  The villain in The Dark Knight Rises is named Bane, B-a-n-e.  What is the name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran and around which there’s now this make-believe controversy?  Bain.  The movie has been in the works for a long time.  The release date’s been known, summer 2012 for a long time.  Do you think that it is accidental that the name of the really vicious fire breathing four eyed whatever it is villain in this movie is named Bane?
[...]
So, anyway, this evil villain in the new Batman movie is named Bane.  And there’s now a discussion out there as to whether or not this is purposeful and whether or not it will influence voters.  It’s gonna have a lot of people. This movie, the audience is gonna be huge. A lot of people are gonna see the movie, and it’s a lot of brain-dead people, entertainment, the pop culture crowd, and they’re gonna hear Bane in the movie and they’re gonna associate Bain. The thought is that when they start paying attention to the campaign later in the year, and Obama and the Democrats keep talking about Bain, Romney and Bain, that these people will think back to the Batman movie, “Oh, yeah, I know who that is.”  (laughing) There are some people who think it’ll work.  Others think you’re really underestimating the American people to think that will work. [RushLimbaugh.com via Gawker]

Oh, El Rushbo. You make me embarrassed that I used that same lazy observation as a deliberately-sh*tty joke three months ago.

Barack “The Dark Knight” Obama is pissed about the way Mitt Romney’s been running Bane Capital. #lazypoliticaljokes

— Vince Mancini (@Filmdrunk) May 22, 2012

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(Rush meets with some Washington fat cats.)

Finally, a producer knows what I want to see on film: the story of how Rush Limbaugh learned to haltingly force words past his neck wattle (maybe George Lucas could direct?).  Writer/producer James Sclafani (a democrat) has bought the rights to the unauthorized biography The Rush Limbaugh Story: Talent on Loan from God.  He plans to turn it into a biopic that he calls a “close cousin” to Oliver Stone’s W.  Jeez, dude, this isn’t sounding any better.  Quick, add “in the style of The 300.”  Voila, perfect pitch.

“This is Citizen Kane meets Private Parts, where you have a man who always had trouble relating to people in the outside world, but does it effortlessly in the booth,” [hehehe -Ed.] said Sclafani, adding that Limbaugh is the proverbial [literal] fat kid, ignored in high school, and determined to prove everyone they were wrong about him. “There’s this anecdote about a game of spin the bottle in high school. The bottle pointed at him, and the pretty girl who was supposed to kiss him ran away, and that stayed with him,” Sclafani said. “When he came up in radio, he was culturally opposed to everything happening in the 60s and 70s, and all this left him with something to prove. He is an underdog, and became an extremely determined person with something to prove.” [Deadline]

He proved them wrong later by earning huge piles of cash, turning the pretty girls into Dominican boy prostitutes, and filling the bottles with Oxycontin.  They still ran away, but with enough drugs, he could catch them.  Anyway, this sounds terrible.  If I wanted to learn how one becomes a fat, hateful, A-hole, I’d remind myself how I became a  blogger.