Last July, David Wain started hinting while promoting other films that he and his fellow former State members were floating the idea of a reunion for a Wet Hot American Summer sequel. Our response looked something like this:

But then some time passed and we didn’t hear much more about it other than a few whispers that it could be a prequel with the older actors playing younger versions to hilarious results. Our response still looked something like this:

Then a few more months passed and we didn’t hear a thing about whether or not this prequel or sequel was progressing and our response looked something like this…

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Late yesterday afternoon it was widely reported that jandsome Spaniard Javier Bardem would play the villain in the next Yames Bond movie, and “Javier Bardem” even became a trending topic on Twitter. Which was news to me, as I was under the impression that we already knew this three months ago. Nonetheless, it did give me the opportunity to post this picture of Bardem enjoying a Daniel Craig popsicle, so all is forgiven. “Jugo de Bond? Delicioso.”

The film is scheduled to announce the beginning of production next month, with American Beauty‘s Sam Mendes on to direct, and Ralph Fiennes “strongly rumored” to co-star. Meanwhile, Fusible.com reported a few days ago that a company Sony uses to register domain names recently registered such names as “Skyfall” and “jamesbondskyfall,” leading to widespread speculation (still unconfirmed) that Bond 23 will be called “Skyfall.”

So I guess if the plan is to give glib critics their easiest headline in years, this should be perfect. Mmm, more like “Skyfail,” am I right? (*thumbs nose, eats Cheetos*). Easiest. Review. Ever.

I don't even know dude, I was tired.

Just a month ago, indie financier/heiress Megan Ellison acquired the rights to the Terminator franchise with plans to produce a new film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger from Fast Five director Justin Lin. At the time, Deadline estimated she paid as much as $20 million for it.  Of course, that was before we found out Arnold had been indiscriminately jizzing on poor people for more than a decade. His subsequent movie hiatus puts the project in a bit of a bind, considering Arnold was the only thing people were even remotely interested in, to the point they were willing to consider the possibility that Skynet was producing old, flabby cyborgs.  But Megan Ellison’s already into this thing for 20 large, so it would seem a movie has to happen. WhatsPlaying’s “HollywoodInsider” thinks they know what that might look like (and it’s not good):

While Schwarzenegger may not be yet ready to return to film, considering recent events, and has temporarily put his Terminator reprise on hold, Ellison and are still keen to get going on the movie. What may happen, I’m told, is the creative crew might lessen Schwarzenegger’s screentime in this movie, so it’s less work and less of a commitment for him and thus, it’ll be easier to talk the big guy into doing something this year.

From the sounds of things, the big guy does have a fairly substantial role in the new story – which is said to involve that original timeline being torn, again – but this Terminator would mostly be anchored by a new, younger male lead (Paul Walker’s name keeps coming up – could he possibly be Lin’s pick for Kyle Reese?). Oh, and I think that’s where the rumors of the ‘original cast returning’ come into play – though it’s not so much the original cast as it is ‘the original characters’ from the original movie. Geddit? Like J.J’s Star Trek. [WhatsPlaying]

If Paul Walker’s name keeps coming up, I can only hope the context is “Who’s the worst actor in Hollywood?  Because we should totally cast the opposite of that guy.”  Did Justin Lin lose a bet with Paul Walker’s family or something?  This whole project just went from mission impossible to mission in frickin sanity.

Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn’t been out of office a year yet, and already he’s done The Governator, is attached to a new Terminator movie, and is reportedly getting paid $12 million for Cry Macho. It’s like he’s barely missed a beat.  This would be like if Reagan had beat communism and gone straight back to making monkey movies. Though in this case I guess running California would be more like the monkey movie… Look, let’s just forget this analogy. The point is that today’s rumor is of yes, Twins 2.  Why not?  Sure it’s a retread, but compared to a reboot of Tomb Raider, a sequel to Buff Guy Little Guy is like finding the Dead Sea Scrolls.

You’ll recall we were the first to report – in January, several weeks before another outlet got wind of the news – that a new Arnold Schwarzenegger-led Justin Lin-directed Terminator was in the works (though, to be fair, we were skeptical). Well that same source tells us today that Terminator mightn’t be the only other sequel Schwarzenegger has been offered.

Here’s the word :

“A Twins sequel. Knowing Arnold, Danny De Vito and Ivan Reitman are all still in touch and want to work together again, Universal came to them about it. It’s a germ of an idea that could spread fast.” [WhatsPlaying.au]

The fact that someone would offer this to them isn’t surprising. Whether anyone’s interested or can actually make it happen is another story.  In any case, it’s hard not to be intrigued by the idea of seeing Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito onscreen together, regardless of the context.  Go ahead, pretend you wouldn’t watch this. Guess what?  You’re a f*cking liar. Besides, Twins is a nice time capsule.  You can tell everyone was doing a ton of cocaine in 1988, because only in a room full of cokeheads could you blurt out a throwaway half idea like “What if Arnold Schwarzenegger… and Danny DeVito… were TWINS?!?”  And before you know it, have a script, Twins hats, Twins mugs, Twins Super Bowl commercials, and Dodge as the official vehicle of Twins.  All because one guy is tall and buff and the other is short and fat.

I guess what I’m saying is, every stoner with a weird idea needs a cokehead buddy to make sure he executes it.  Much like bookish intellectual Arnold who grew up in the South Pacific had a street-smart brother whose skills as a con artist made them the perfect team.

SET YOUR ONLINE JOURNALIZZM GUNS TO “HE-SAID, SHE-SAID”, MOTHERF****RS!  Videogame site Joystiq recently got a movie news update from the director of the Uncharted 3 videogame [?]. Justin Richmond spoke of Mark Wahlberg being cast as the lead in the David O. Russell film adaptation, and he says it isn’t as done a deal as everyone thinks.

Mark Wahlberg isn’t anywhere near to being confirmed to play Nathan Drake either — it’s just Hollywood scuttlebutt, apparently. Still, I dutifully told Richmond that the Joystiq Biomass had chosen, and Nathan Fillion has our vote. Message received, Richmond responded.

If I have to hear one more of you nerds geeking out about Nathan Fillion, I swear I’m stuffing someone in a locker.  Anyway, even if it’s not a “done deal” as Richmond says, news of Wahlberg’s casting came from Wahberg himself in an interview with MTV.

Just what was that puzzling David O’Russell [sic] quote, referencing a “family dynamic” in the Uncharted movie, all about, I asked Uncharted 3 game director Justin Richmond at a recent press event. He laughed. “First of all, all that stuff was denied by David O. Russell,” Richmond said. “He actually called us up and was like, ‘I don’t know what these guys are talking about.’”

Again, the “family dynamic” thing (which is pretty broad) came from a direct quote from David O. Russell in the LA Times, so it’s hard to know how trustworthy this guy is.  I’ll be honest, this story doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.  All I know is that it’s all over the internet,  it’s about the planned Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune movie, and last time I posted something about that, everyone crapped their pants, as if this is finally going to be the video game movie that doesn’t gargle monster hog nuts like the last 50.  Look, I like David O. Russell twice as much as the next dude, but even I ain’t rushing to kick the football on this one.  Unless Drake is from Mass and the “family dynamic” means trashy sisters.  “Why ah you goin lookin’ fah treasah in Nepawl?  Ya think yoah too good foah ya famdly now?   That MTV whoah put you up to this, didn’t she!  …FACK YOU, I AM SOBAH!”