You know the film industry is screwed up when a finished, Johnny-Depp starring movie adaptation of Hunter Thompson’s The Rum Diary sits around waiting for a release date (we know it’s finished because it’s had test screenings), while the movie version of magic 8-ball and Must Love Queefs (starring Katherine Heigl) get fast tracked.  So far, all we know is that The Rum Diary will hit theaters sometime this year.  Nonetheless, it’s nice to know that movies we care about are actually out there.

These new pictures come from FilmTotaal (you can see bigger versions there) and they don’t really tell us much besides “OMG OMG, it’s Johnny Depp playing Hunter Thompson again!” (*throws wet panties at computer screen*).  The banner pic shows Johnny Depp as fictionalized Thompson protagonist Paul Kemp, Giovanni Ribisi as Moberg, the disgusting, drunken newspaper man, and the guy on the back of the motorcycle is Michael Rispoli, playing Bob Salas.  I’ve always said that Giovanni Ribisi is a highly underrated actor, but then again, f*ck him.  You think you’re better’n me?  I have a podcast.

Oh, and my blatant ploy for traffic tells me that it also stars Amber Heard. (*cough*) NAKED LESBIAN UPSKIRT NIPSLIP DOGSEX! (*cough, cough*)

No real news to report on this one, just the first picture of Johnny Depp as Paul Kemp in the adaptation of Hunter S. Thompson’s Rum Diary.  In other Hunter Thompson-related non-news, check out this sort of NSFW drawing.  +10 if you get the Hunter Thompson reference.

[depp via popsugar, pope via CHUD's twitter]

Bruce Robinson is writing and directing The Rum Diary, based on the Hunter S. Thompson novel, with Johnny Depp attached as the lead and Amber Heard as his slutty, er, free-spirited love interest.  Just joining the cast is Richard Jenkins (as Depp’s boss at the newspaper), with Aaron Eckhart supposedly close to a deal.

“Eckhart would play the third element of the central love triangle, which also involves Depp and Heard. “Diary” is the tale of Paul Kemp (Depp), a washed-up, hard-drinking journalist in 1950s Puerto Rico. Eckhart would play Sanderson, a wealthy landowner who believes everything has a price and introduces Kemp to a different standard of living. [Yahoo]

Eckhart’s a perfect choice for Sanderson, a slick PR rep.  Just look at that chin.  I’d do anything it told me.  What’s that, chin?  Buy your detergent?  Help stop gang violence?  Make a skin suit out of the neighbor?  Anything! I know you’d never steer me wrong!  …You know what I’d do if I had that chin?  Two chicks.  Boosh.

Last we heard about The Rum Diary (based on the Hunter S. Thompson novel starring Johnny Depp in the lead), the casting director was supposedly partial to Keira Knightley or Scarlett Johansson.  Luckily, it seems the casting director was adhering to a strict “Tits or GTFO” rule.

The role drew strong interest from many a leading lady, though some had reservations regarding the nudity the role calls for. But that didn’t inhibit Heard — in the upcoming ensemble Bret Easton Ellis adaptation “The Informers,” [which is supposedly beyond terrible] she spends all but one scene in the flesh. [THR]

The original casting notice read:

SEEKING: CHENAULT A beautiful, 25 year old [...] with a killer smile and a wry, enigmatic personality, she wears barely-there sarongs, sunbathes nude, and oozes sexuality in everything she does. She enchants and mesmerizes Kemp [Depp] from the moment they meet: while both escaping a tedious, high-end party. Chenault is dating and possibly engaged to Sanderson, but clearly feels an attraction to Kemp. She’s a daredevil who loves to dance and drive fast. She gets into big trouble with a lust-crazed, violent crowd during Carnival in St. Thomas [Editor's note: A gang rape!]. .. LEAD. This role contains nudity.

It’s nice they’re not softening their nudity required stance, especially for as boring an actress as Scarlett Johansson. I much prefer an uninhibited lady. Plus, an actress who doesn’t do nudity is like a dog that doesn’t fetch, or a stripper who doesn’t cry.

Johnny Depp is set to reprise his role as Hunter S. Thompson’s alter-ego, this time as Kemp in The Rum Diary.  TheBadandtheUgly recently got ahold of a casting bulletin, suggesting production might not be too far off.

SEEKING: CHENAULT A beautiful, 25 year old, translucent vision [Editor's Note: Does that mean Pale? Blind? Invisible?] from Connecticut, with a killer smile and a wry, enigmatic personality, she wears barely-there sarongs, sunbathes nude, and oozes sexuality in everything she does. She enchants and mesmerizes Kemp from the moment they meet: while both escaping a tedious, high-end party. Chenault is dating and possibly engaged to Sanderson, but clearly feels an attraction to Kemp. She’s a daredevil who loves to dance and drive fast. She gets into big trouble with a lust-crazed, violent crowd during Carnival in St. Thomas. .. LEAD. This role contains nudity.

Hey, I ooze sexuality (and mucus)!  They go on to say (based on what I’m not sure) that…

Word on the production street is that Krysti Charron, the casting assistant is partial to Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johannson, but readings for this role will probably include a swath of relatively unknowns.

Let’s see… Johansson hasn’t done nudity yet, but supposedly has a “nude scene” in He’s Just Not That Into You, which is rated PG-13 so that’s bullshit… Keira Knightley, only if by “killer smile” you mean “a stupid pout thing she does in every picture”.  …In conclusion, something something Zac Efron something “Cum Diary.”  Boy, this site really writes itself sometimes.