Pimpin.

When Peter Dinklage collected his well-deserved Golden Globe for his work on Game of Thrones, after taking the stage (I still say he should’ve walked along the tops of everyone’s heads like Crocodile Dundee), he mentioned “a gentleman in England I’m thinking about, Martin Henderson. Google him.”

In case you were too drunk or busy doing something “more important” than watching a “pointless awards show,” here’s the guy he was talking about, 37-year-old Martin Henderson, a dwarf and aspiring actor who was picked up and thrown to the ground by a drunk man.

An aspiring actor who appeared as a goblin in two of the “Harry Potter” films, Henderson was left badly injured after a drunken stranger picked him up and threw him to the ground outside a pub in Wincanton in Somerset last October. After suffering tissue damage to his back, he has been unable to walk properly since.
Henderson, 37, told British newspaper The Telegraph that his assailant may have gotten the idea from Mike Tindall, a member of England’s Rugby World Cup team. Weeks before the attack, Tindall had been disciplined, along with some teammates, for attending a “dwarf tossing contest” at a bar in New Zealand.
“I think until someone steps out and says ‘this is not acceptable,’ all dwarfs are under threat,” he told the newspaper, adding that he fears his condition could ruin his career. [ABC]

Too often people forget the immortal words of Bushwick Bill, the one-eyed dwarf rapper from the Geto Boys: “Liftin’ weights will make ya bigga. But lift me, you’ll be a dead-ass nigga.”

Still, I think it’s slightly unfair to compare consensual dwarf tossing weeks before in a different country with picking up a stranger and throwing him to the ground. It sounded like quite the night though:

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A while back, I brought you the news that Mickey Rourke was interested in playing openly gay Welsh rugby player Gareth Thomas.  Now comes word from his agent that Rourke is so serious about it that he’s considering having his two front teeth removed.  Jesus, gay rugby sounds like a rough sport.

Wales on Sunday now says the Wrestler star is going to take out his teeth – as Thomas doesn’t have any front chompers – and wants to shoot the picture in Wales.
Thomas’ agent Emanuele Palladino told Wales on Sunday that Rourke wanted to be as faithful as possible.
He said, ‘Mickey wants to film everything in Wales, although it is early days.
‘He really wants to throw himself into Welsh and rugby and really learn as quickly as he can. He’ll learn Welsh I think, obviously where it is relevant as well.
‘He is going to get rid of his two front teeth and stuff – he will be taking them out.
‘Mickey intends to get as close to the character as he can, as he thinks it is a great story.’ [inmovies.ca]

Huh, I always thought Wales was closed on Sundays.  Anyway, the difficulty here isn’t so much that Mickey Rourke will have to remove his teeth or learn Welsh, it’s more that Gareth Thomas is a 36-year-old professional athlete and Mickey Rourke is a clayfaced, 58-year-old, tiny-dog-loving party animal.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  In fact, more that I think about it, Gareth Thomas should be doing a biopic about Mickey Rourke.

Mickey Rourke, FilmDrunk Magazine’s awesomest man alive, announced recently on a British chat show plans to star in a biopic about gay rugby player Gareth Thomas.  According to Sports Illustrated, the final authority on all things gay, Thomas, who plays Rugby League for the Crusaders (Wales), is the only currently active male professional athlete who is openly gay. I’m not surprised, I’ve always said Rugby League is gay. (*me and the five other rugby players reading this share a good laugh*).

Host Alan Carr (himself a gay man): Is it true you’re about to play a gay rugby player?

Rourke: You’re not supposed to say that, okay? Here’s the deal. When I met the rugby player, Gareth Thomas, this is one thing that he and I talked about. This is something that’s really important. We’re doing a movie about a man who plays rugby who is gay.

Carr: Oh, I see. Sorry, I shouldn’t be so homophobic.

Rourke: That’s the point though.

Carr: Labels.

Rourke: Abso-f*cking-lutely. I read the story. it’s one of the toughest, hardest sports in the world to play. They play with no pads. They play… it’s a really brutal sport. To be a man who plays rugby who is gay and to live with that secret for the amount of years that Gareth had, to perform at the high level that he performed at, it takes a lot of courage.

Carr: Are you going to learn the Welsh?

Rourke: I have no choice. [BleedingCool]

As a rugby player myself, I think I speak for every rugby player in the world when I say “that’s gross.”  I came here to wear short shorts, wrestle other men to the ground, and stick my head up peoples’ butts, not do something queer.

In other Anglo sport news, here’s Hugh Jackman getting hit in the nuts with a cricket ball:

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Oscar bait, anyone?  This is the trailer for Invictus, directed by Clint Eastwood, starring beloved actor Morgan Freeman as beloved leader of South Africa Nelson Mandela. Hoping to unite his country in the wake of apartheid, Mandela calls on Springboks captain Francois Pienaar (Mmmatt Daaaamon) to get the country behind their rugby team during the 1995 World Cup hosted by South Africa.  It’s basically Cinderella Team, or District 9 without the aliens.

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Sean Faris’ prison rugby movie Forever Strong today released some new viral teasers about what happens when you mix rugby with other non-tackly sports like Badminton, Golf, and… uh… Football.  The best part is how they shake the camera around all crazy.  I can’t tell what’s going on, but it really makes it look like them newfangled YouTube videowhatsits the kids are always talking about nowadays. 

I’m pretty excited. I really think Forever Strong has a chance to do for American rugby what Air Bud Spikes Back did for beach volleyball.