Dress like a rape victim: H&M releases Lisbeth Salander collection

Written by Vince Mancini / 10.26.11

Clothing retailer H&M recently announced a partnership with Trish Summerville, the costume designer who worked on David Fincher’s English version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, to produce a clothing line based on Dragon Tattoo heroine Lisbeth Salander (played by Rooney Mara in the film). Because nothing says chic like bleached eyebrows and a history of rape.

H&M have collaborated with Trish Summerville, the revered costume designer who worked on the English film version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo , to add an urban, edgy twist to 30 pieces, all with the unmistakeable essence of Lisbeth Salander.

Judging by the picture, this appears to be one of the rare occasions when you’ll be able to read “urban” as a corporate adjective and it won’t be code for “for black people.”

Battered jeans, cropped leather jackets and hoodies make up the uniform of the private detective, who is played by breakout American actress Rooney Mara. “We took her [Salander's] basic pieces that we used throughout the film and did a little more fashionable version for H&M,” explains Summerville, who scoured resale shops in Sweden – where the film is set – for much of the character’s wardrobe.
Accessories including knitted snoods, backpacks and tribal earrings also feature alongside roughed-up leather boots and platform wedges.

What the f*ck is a “snood?” (*googles*) A knitted head scarf? Huh. Looks like it’d make a great hippie hairnet, but somehow I doubt the person wearing it will be doing much cooking.

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Fincher says ScarJo’s boobs were too big for Dragon Tattoo, basically

Written by Vince Mancini / 10.17.11

David Fincher’s take on Stieg Larsson’s The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo opens December 21st, and with Swedish-rape-crime fever just starting to heat up, the latest issue of Vogue has a feature on Rooney Mara, the actress who would be Lisbeth Salander. There are a few interesting tidbits in the article, including Fincher’s explanation of why Scarlett Johansson wouldn’t work as Lisbeth Salander, even though she’s Scandinavian (half Danish), and I think we all can agree she would’ve been a pretty great choice for that bare-tittie poster.

“We flew in people from New Zealand and Swaziland and all over the place,” he says. “Look, we saw some amazing people. Scarlett Johansson was great. It was a great audition, I’m telling you. But the thing with Scarlett is, you can’t wait for her to take her clothes off.” He stops for a moment. “I keep trying to explain this. Salander should be like E.T. If you put E.T. dolls out before anyone had seen the movie, they would say, ‘What is this little squishy thing?’ Well, you know what? When he hides under the table and he grabs the Reese’s Pieces, you love him! It has to be like that.”

“See, Scarlett Johansson is squishy. Gloriously squishy, like you can’t wait to get your hands on her. Rooney, she’s more like E.T. She gets naked and no one even notices unless she’s under a table trying to feed you Reese’s Pieces, you know?” Uh, cool story, David Fincher?

Meanwhile, I’d say Kirsten Dunst has been vindicated, at least in regard to her theory about her boobs being too big for Antichrist. I don’t know if I agree with her and Fincher that big-breasted actresses shouldn’t be cast in certain parts, but I will say this: fret not, voluptuous ladies. You’ll always get a fair shake when I’m around. (*mimes boob squeeze, bike horn sound*)

But that’s not the only interesting thing to come out of the profile. There’s also some stuff about rape and David Fincher as stern taskmaster. Hmmm, I made those two things sound much more related than I meant to.

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Four Minutes of Fincher’s The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Written by Vince Mancini / 09.22.11

The 90-second teaser for David Fincher’s remake of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo came out back in May and people lost their sh*t, so I can only imagine what’s going to happen now that we have almost four minutes of it. I wasn’t as impressed with the first one as everyone else seemed to be, mainly because it was just random action cut to the beat of music, and that’s like high school video editing 101. Cutting video to music makes it look cool: fact. It’s kind of cheating. Anyway, this new one has no such tricks. Just four minutes of intrigue from the movie without really giving away much about the plot. Pretty damn impressive.

The film is based on Stieg Larsson’s internationally best-selling novel centering on a murder mystery looking as far back as 40 years at the disappearance of Harriet Vanger, a scion of one of Sweden’s wealthiest families. All these years later, her aged uncle continues to seek the truth. He hires Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig), a crusading journalist recently trapped by a libel conviction, to investigate. He is aided by the pierced and tattooed punk prodigy Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara). Together they tap into a vein of unfathomable iniquity and astonishing corruption. [RopeofSilicon]

Anyone else find it strange that the original book was in Swedish, as was the first film adaptation, and now that we have an English version, it’s still set in Sweden, but now all the Swedes speak English with different accents? There are two or three Englishman, Rooney Mara sounds Scandinavian, a couple vaguely Germanic-sounding dudes — we always just accept it because it sounds fancy and continental, but it makes no logical sense. Just once I’d like to see them try this with a chola, some dudes from Mississippi, three Hawaiians, and a Ukrainian. It’d be like a murder mystery set at my apartment complex. “Hey, Bra. I know you’re lesbo or whatever, but I hear you’re pretty good at investigateen. You know, for a haole.”

“Fack you, cawksuckah, can’t you see I’m fackin’ busy? Didn’t ya queah mothah evah teach you ta knawk?”

"Can you help us catch the eyebrow thief who did this, Lispeth?"

No eyebrows = nothing to lose. Opens December 21st. [via TheDailyWhat]

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New Pictures from Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Written by Vince Mancini / 08.26.11

I DON'T LIKE TO BE TOUCHED!

Unlike The Great Gatsby, I haven’t actually read Stieg Larsson’s The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (thanks a lot, high school English class), so I may not be the best person to explain what’s going on in these new pictures from David Fincher’s adaptation (opening December 21st). Here’s what I do know: that’s Rooney “boring tits” Mara as Dame Lizardbreath von Salamander on the left, consoling Dutch actor Yorick van Wageningen (as Nils Bjurman), whose last name seems to have at least one vestigial syllable. I’m not sure what he’s so upset about. Maybe a møøse bit his sister?

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Girl with the Dragon Tattoo releases another boob poster

Written by Vince Mancini / 06.10.11

Serious.

I’ve already posted three posters with different versions of this same picture from David Fincher’s The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, but in this new version, Rooney Mara’s booblets are EVEN CLEARER, so I figure I better post it since I can’t imagine anything more riveting than that. I had to post the full, uncensored version after the jump below, because, as Entertainment Weekly notes, this thing is “extremely NSFW.”  And boy, nothing drives home the sheer absurdity of things we consider taboo like the fact that one, partially-uncovered nipple can be considered “extremely unsafe” to view at work.  RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, IT’S AN AREOLA THE SIZE OF THE CHRYSLER BUILDING!

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