I apologize in advance for not being excited to report this story — I loved the show, I really did — it’s just that a lot of sites spent an entire year running ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT MOVIE??!? stories every other day, which usually consisted of them seeing Alia Shawkat on the street and yelling, “Hey Alia, is there going to be an Arrested Development movie??!” She’d shrug, and they’d run STAR MAY BE ONBOARD FOR ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT MOVIE!! the next morning. Some people even made a documentary about how the show was good. Who the hell wants to see that? I watched the show. I liked the show. What’s the documentary going to be about, you ruining it for me? Okay, tirade over. AD creator Mitchell Hurwitz has begun writing the script, which he’s set to direct.
“Arrested Development” creator Mitchell Hurwitz [HURRRRwitz -Ed] and his co-executive producer James Vallely are working on a screenplay for the long-debated feature version of their short-lived Fox series. Even as they prep a new Fox comedy series with “Arrested” star Will Arnett, the writers are spinning more bizarre encounters for the eccentric, spoiled Bluth clan for possible feature production in the spring.
Hurwitz had said that he wouldn’t start writing a film unless all the main actors were committed. Hurwitz and Vallely are now forging ahead. Scheduling might be difficult, however, as several — Bateman, Cera and Arnett — have seen their careers bloom in TV and film since the series debuted in 2003. [THR]
Oh my gosh, someone started writing a script? HOLD THE F-CKING PHONE, SO THAT I MIGHT SHOUT OBSCENITIES INTO IT.
Long story short, Bryce Dallas Howard and her brother in law wrote a script, which her father’s production company will produce, and which her father might direct. Long story re-lengthened:
“Originals” is an ensemble film about a group of twentysomethings who reconvene for a weekend in New York after learning that the teacher who shaped their childhoods has fallen into a mysterious coma. The idea for “Originals” germinated a few years ago, when Howard, an actress from such films as “The Village” and “Spider-Man 3″, [decided to write] something that tackled the quarter-life crisis issues her contemporaries were dealing with.
She roped in Dane Charbeneau and the two have been working on the script for the past couple of years. “Originals” also became more of family affair during the writing process, as Charbeneau began dating Howard’s sister Jocelyn. The two are now are engaged. [THR]
Ah yes, the quarter-life crisis, I know it well. As soon as I turned 25 I said, “Daddy? What big Hollywood movie should I have one of your friends put me in?” Luckily, my dad just took a huge bong rip and fell asleep so I became a movie blogger.
Opening this week:
Angels & Demons - Hold onto your seats, Tom Hanks is going to tell you about the Illuminati. And he’s going to look really serious. “We’re going to go on a car chase! But wait, I have to tell you about the history of the Vatican!” I’d rather watch Dan Brown try to pick up Stephenie Meyer at a singles bar. Somebody get on that.
The Brothers Bloom - Rian Johnson’s tale about a pair of con artist brothers looks hopelessly twee, but it does have a kitten on a roller skate. Your call, bro.
Inside this box is a tube of freakishly creaseless forehead creme. I stole it from Nic Cage while he was doing Tai Chi.
The problem with Da Vinci Code/Angels & Demons is that every five minutes, one of the characters pauses to recite the Wikipedia summary of some little-known ancient or scientific phenomenon. It’s like they were trying to figure out how to work that stuff into the script but were short on time, so they just decided to have the characters talk about it while acting super serious. “But you don’t mean… antimatter!” “Yes, antimatter. First discovered in 1955 by German radiologist….”
Anyway, they just released this “Hypertrailer,” (watch it below) which is kind of like pop-up video, where every few seconds a character will be highlighted and you can click through to see more videos about that character or plot point. It’s a great idea, because what these movies really needed was more backstory.
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“Why yes, I do look like an albino caveman.”
Ron Howard and his revolting translucent head fuzz recently accused the Vatican of hampering the production of Angels & Demons, which would sort of make sense for them, considering the plot of Dan Brown’s books is basically “what if the Bible was wrong?”
The Vatican was outraged by “The Da Vinci Code” and the Rome archdiocese made no secret about denying Howard authorization to film parts of the follow-up inside its churches. Howard said the Vatican also exerted its influence “through backchannels” to try to prevent him from shooting in areas around certain churches and got an event related to the film’s premiere canceled, he said.
“There was supposed to be a reception or screening here in Rome that had been approved and I suppose that the Vatican had some influence over that,” Howard told a news conference. “My only frustration as a film-maker is that we actually reached out a couple of times, going back to March, to sort of offer opportunities for bishops and others just to see the film. And those opportunities have all been declined,” Howard said. “So far all the criticism, all of the complaints about the film have been coming from people who haven’t seen it.”
I find it funny when people expect Catholic priests to behave logically, listen to reason, or not rape kids. You realize who you’re talking to, right? The recruiting pitch for this job basically consists of “Well, you won’t ever be able to have sex again. But you do get to wear this jeweled cape…”
