When the New Yorker’s Twitter account announced that the cast of Arrested Development would be reuniting for 9 to 10 new episodes followed by a movie, I thought it was either the movie blogging equivalent of “MAN LANDS ON MOON” or the most epic troll job in New Yorker history†. After all the times they’ve already convinced us to kick the football, I’m still not sure I believe it, but all signs point to it being real. The short version is that they’re planning nine to ten “where are they now”-style episodes, with Showtime and Netflix negotiating to air them next fall, as a precursor to a film (which still doesn’t have studio backing, as of yet).

Here’s the long version, from Entertainment Weekly:

EW has confirmed that the producers of Arrested Development is in talks [sic] with Showtime and Netflix about airing a limited number of original episodes that will update fans on the Bluth clan.

Hurwitz told attendees at the New Yorker Festival Sunday in New York that he wanted to shoot nine to 10 episodes that would air next fall and catch audiences up on the characters’ lives since the series ended in 2006 on Fox. The episodes would be produced by 20th Century Fox TV, which was responsible for the original single camera series.

Hurwitz’ hope is that the limited series would serve as a walk-up to his long-gestating movie. “I have been working on the screenplay for a long time and found that as time went by there was so much more to the story,” he said at the festival, which was also attended by Development stars Bateman, De Rossi, and Cera, as well as David Cross, Will Arnett, Jeffrey Tambor, Jessica Walter, Tony Hale, and Alia Shawkat. Ron Howard, one of the comedy’s producers, even participated via speakerphone. “In fact, where everyone’s been for five years became a big part of the story. So, in working on the screenplay I found that even if I just gave five minutes per character to that backstory, we were halfway through the movie before the characters got together. And that kinda gave birth to this thing we’ve not been pursuing for a while and we’re kinda going public with it a little bit. We’re trying to do kind of limited run series into the movie.”

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Last time we discussed Ron Howard’s desire to bring Stephen King’s Dark Tower series to both the big screen and television, the project had aired its death rattle. However, in recent weeks, it has been reported that the project is only in a holding pattern while Howard and producer Brian Glazer find a new studio to take on the project. The three-film series still has Javier Bardem attached to star, so the pulse hasn’t completely died off just yet.

Whether the movies ever actually happen or not, it hasn’t stopped fans of the books – this blogging nerd included – from being optimistic. Take artist Sean Hartter, for instance. Hartter has a knack for creating “alternate universe” movie posters, and his efforts are pretty fantastic. He recently posted a series of his own Dark Tower movie posters with a vintage 60s and 70s feel and I want them to be real.

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Invizible bewbs

Earlier this week, Universal pulled the plug on Ron Howard’s ambitious plan to turn Stephen King’s Dark Tower into three movies and a television series, presumably because it was too expensive and they hate gingers. But a man as attractive as Howard isn’t one to be without a dance partner long, and he quickly dipped his pasty red balls into an adaptation of Jon Krakauer’s Under the Banner of Heaven, an exposé of sorts on the history of Mormonism, with Milk‘s Dustin Lance Black writing the script.

Here’s the book description, from Amazon:

In 1984, Ron and Dan Lafferty murdered the wife and infant daughter of their younger brother Allen. The crimes were noteworthy not merely for their brutality but for the brothers’ claim that they were acting on direct orders from God. In Under the Banner of Heaven, Jon Krakauer tells the story of the killers and their crime but also explores the shadowy world of Mormon fundamentalism from which the two emerged. The Mormon Church was founded, in part, on the idea that true believers could speak directly with God. But while the mainstream church attempted to be more palatable to the general public by rejecting the controversial tenet of polygamy, fundamentalist splinter groups saw this as apostasy and took to the hills to live what they believed to be a righteous life. When their beliefs are challenged or their patriarchal, cult-like order defied, these still-active groups, according to Krakauer, are capable of fighting back with tremendous violence. [AmazonReview]

Black is actually a former Mormon himself, who has written for Big Love on HBO and recently wrote a play about Prop 8, a 2006 gay marriage ban in California that the Mormon church helped fund.

Black should know the material well and it sounds like this could have Oscar potential. Mainly because it’s easy to imagine Hollywood’s most powerful Scientologists championing a film about the dark heart of Mormonism. Probably while slowly backing away from the alien-spirit Geiger counter thingie they use to cure autistic kids. “What? No, I don’t know what that is, or whose. …Hey, did you hear about that Momo who murdered his family? Pretty cuckoo, right? Some people will believe the wackiest stuff.”

Famously hideous ginger Ron Howard is looking for a project to direct before his ambitious adaptation of Stephen King’s Dark Tower next year, and word on the street is that he’s considering a live-action adaptation of Spy vs. Spy, the old Mad Magazine cartoon about glorified stick figures who one-up each other. Might I suggest Terrence Howard playing both parts?  The man is a master of similar-but-different clothes and hats.

A live-action bigscreen version [of Spy v Spy] is moving forward at Warner Bros for Ron Howard to direct. David Koepp will produce with Howard and his Imagine Entertainment partner Brian Grazer. Right now, Koepp will oversee a script that will be written by John Kamps. Kamps just teamed with Koepp to write Premium Rush, the Sony Pictures movie directed by Koepp, who also just rewrote the Jack Ryan film for Paramount Pictures. The film will be a physical and highly visual action comedy with two spies going mano a mano in ruthless fashion.
Spy Vs. Spy will be down the line for Howard, who always has a busy dance card. As Howard and Grazer and Akiva Goldsman prepare to turn in the rewrite of The Dark Tower over the next couple of weeks to see if Universal Pictures will fund the ambitious adaptation of the Stephen King novel series planned to span three films and two TV series runs, Howard has been eyeing projects he might be able to squeeze in before. [Deadline]

Look, I know we say it so much that we’ve become numb to it, but does it ever just boggle your mind how unbelievably dumb Hollywood people are?  Spy vs. Spy is a minimalist cartoon, the spy movie boiled down to its absolute essence.  A movie made out of that is like an online role-playing game about arm wrestling, or a five-course French supper made entirely of MREs.  I guess what I’m trying to say is, Ron Howard is a goblin and we should lock him in a dumpster before he bites someone.

It's a little known fact that Lobster Dog is also a Never Nude.

“Arrested Development” creator Mitch Hurwitz recently did a few interviews and he once again answered questions regarding a potential Arrested Development movie and once again we’re all getting our hopes up for no real reason. Hurwitz claims that he has finally started working on a script for the film and his ambition is to have the project shot, wrapped and released by the end of 2011. IMDB has the release listed as 2012, though, so maybe there’s something to this, after all.

Of course, David Cross has said it’s not happening and Michael Cera supposedly couldn’t take time away from prancing to reprise his role as George-Michael Bluth, but British comedian Peter Serafinowicz recently boasted that he accepted a role in the film and Ron Howard told MTV that Hurwitz’s focus on his string of canceled TV shows was the real delay. But the Huffington Post hears “from the horse’s mouth” that it’s on. Funny, I didn’t know Sarah Jessica Parker was involved.

*slaps Chareth and Danger on the ass*

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