"I WANT TO GO TO THIS PRISON."

To recap, 33 years ago, Roman Polanski was arrested for raping a 13-year-old at his house.  He and the judge agreed on a plea bargain where he would spend 90 days in a “diagnostic evaluation.”  Polanski was released after 42 days, and the judge, bowing to public opinion, reneged on the promise and planned to sentence him to a longer term.  Whereupon Polanski fled to Europe for 30 years, until he was arrested in Switzerland in September.  Meanwhile, all along, all the victim said she wanted was for the case to be over quickly.  If you’re keeping score at home, it has now been SEVEN MONTHS since his arrest that nothing has happened, this despite extradition being the only possible reason to arrest him in the first place.  He wasn’t wanted in Switzerland.  Why would you arrest a guy on another country’s behalf and then not send him to that country?  It’s not like they didn’t have time to figure out what they were going to do.  They had THIRTY YEARS.

Where it stands now is, Roman Polanski is on house arrest in his chalet in Gstaad after posting $4.5 million bail. His lawyers have tried to get his case in the US thrown out on account of misconduct twice, and were denied.  Most recently, they requested that Polanski be sentenced in absentia, which was also denied.  Now Swiss legal experts say he’ll most likely be extradited, but that it would likely take “months of legal wrangling.”   You have got to be f*cking kidding me.

Swiss authorities have cited the voluminous paperwork and said they would wait out a California court’s examination of whether Polanski could be sentenced in absentia for having sex in 1977 with a 13-year-old girl. But the U.S. court rejected Polanski’s sentencing request Thursday without an opinion. While his attorneys could still appeal to the California Supreme Court, legal experts saw little basis for Swiss authorities to reject handing over Polanski.

“Extradition is likely now,” said Dieter Jann, a former Zurich prosecutor. “Not much has changed, and Switzerland has a legal obligation here.”

The Swiss Justice Ministry said Friday it wouldn’t rush a decision since it still must receive and study the ruling by the California 2nd District Court of Appeal.

Yeah, no, great.  No rush, you f*cks.  Seven months is far too little time to decide whether to extradite the guy you arrested for the sole purpose of extraditing.

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CAN WE SHOOT THIS FIVE YEARS AGO?

Just yesterday it was rumored that Marvel plans to bring adaptations of their “third-tier” characters to the big screen, with smaller budgets of $20-40 million.  Today, the always accurate MTV UK (note: I have no idea whether MTV UK is accurate) brings the news, accompanied by a question mark in the headline, that Vanessa Hudgens is in talks to play Spider Woman.  I’d never heard of that character because I’m not a huge nerd, but apparently it is one, and not just a nickname for my stepmom.

A movie insider [ooh, a movie insider, you say?] stated: “The idea is for this to be a fun, comedic movie and Vanessa is perfect for the title role,”
They added: “Spider Woman is strong and sexy but in this case hilarious.Vanessa is apparently very interested in the idea.”

Well sure, that sounds like something that’s plausible. Which is almost the same as news.   But anyway, it is true that when I think “comedy”, I think “the 21-year-old girl from High School Musical who sent pictures of her P to Zac Efron.”  I can’t imagine a more gifted comedienne, really.  However, and this is a good rule of thumb, as a girl, your vag should never be hairier than your boyfriend’s chest.

(“I’M SO JEALOUS OF THAT GIANT PUMPKIN.”)

This story was barely movie-related to begin with, but I’m sort of bound to correct my facts.  Yesterday we all reported that Miley Cyrus’ 9-year-old sister Noah was helping launch a lingerie line (my post sourced an Australian MSN article).  Now the woman who runs the line says that’s not true, that the “lingerie” is really just ballet clothes.

Annie Dugourd says she’s a “stay at home mom who makes tutu dresses”. She and another mom started Ooh, La La! Couture, the apparel firm named in several reports as the designers behind an upcoming line of lingerie from Miley Cyrus’s nine-year-old sister Noah and her best friend, eight-year-old actress Emily Grace Reaves.

“The story is completely false…it’s a total lie…we don’t make lingerie. It’s been devastating for our little company,” says Dugourd, who has a daughter. “We would never do anything inapppropriate.” She says that Noah and Emily Grace have no plans to make lingerie using another firm. [CNBC]

So there, you jerks.  How dare you sully the good name of this woman who was only trying to use heavily-made-up nine-year-olds carrying clutch purses and little dogs like Paris Hilton and wearing tiny skirts and posing around stripper poles to sell her clothes.  You perverts should really be ashamed.  Looks like you guys have got a lot of growing up to do.

(“HOW OLD IS THIS LION?”)

Once again, the victim in Roman Polanski’s case has officially asked for his release.

The attorney for the victim in Roman Polanski’s 32-year-old sex case is joining his lawyers’ bid to have the director sentenced in absentia to time served.
Attorney Lawrence Silver on Wednesday faxed to other lawyers in the case a motion he planned to file Thursday in Los Angeles Superior Court, asking that the director be sentence in absentia. On behalf of the victim, Samantha Geimer, Silver also is supporting a motion by Polanski’s lawyers urging that Polanski be sentenced to time served. [Yahoo]

An earlier appeal to have the case tried in absentia was denied last month.  From the beginning, Polanski’s victim has said she only wanted the case to be over with.  My guess is it’ll be a few more months before the lawyers decide whether to have a preliminary hearing to rule on whether to read the letter.  Elsewhere, Polanski’s next movie, Ghost Writer, which opens in February, has a poster. Say what you will about the man, he’s still a great director.  It’s like he has a gift for strongarming the camera into doing whatever he wants. *slide whistle*

[poster source = CHUD]

(“I’M SO JEALOUS OF THIS DOG.”)

Oh the legal system.  So last year, Roman Polanski’s lawyers tried to get his conviction thrown out on account of prosecutorial and judicial misconduct.  The court ruled then that Polanski would have to surrender to authorities before he could pursue such a case.  His lawyer’s then appealed that decision.  Today that appeal was denied.

“We conclude that the trial court did not abuse its discretion in applying the fugitive disentitlement doctrine [which says that an appeal may be rejected on the grounds that the appellant is a fugitive] and refusing to consider dismissing the action,” Justice Laurie D. Zelon wrote.  “We do not disregard the extremely serious allegations of judicial and prosecutorial misconduct that have been brought forward, but urge the parties to take steps to investigate and to respond to the claims.” [LATimes]

Knowing Roman Polanski, he’ll probably just refuse to believe that anyone could deny his appeal and slip the judge a couple quaaludes.  *hits cow bell*