(This week’s Box-Office Wipe Up brought to you by Roland Emmerich’s evil twin, Rolando Emmerich.)

2012 made $65 million over the weekend, which isn’t surprising considering everyone knew about it.  Though it should be noted that Roland Emmerich’s last movie, The Day After Tomorrow, actually opened bigger at $68.7 million, and I don’t know think I know anyone who saw that movie. Also… aren’t they the same movie?  What’s going on here?

A Christmas Carol dropped only 25% since it’s opening last weekend, leading many to believe it will continue to play into actual Christmas and leaving little hope that Robert Zemeckis will ever abandon this ridiculous motion-capture experiment.  We get it, dude, you like computers.

Precious is tearing it up, thanks to Oprah’s Midas ham hands.  Either that or it’s doing well because the main character is so hot.  Seriously, do any of you have her number?  I want to get all up in her Shar Pei folds.  Just like I did with my Shar Pei.

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Fall’s biggest comedy 2012 opens today, so it’s time for us all to care what Roland Emmerich thinks.  On that note, the man recently took time out from masturbating to tsunami footage, telling MTV that he’s planning for not one, but two Independence Day sequels.  To be titled “‘ID4-ever, Part I and II maybe?” I think he was joking, but on the other hand it’s Roland Emmerich.

“What we want to do in the next – it’s actually two movies – we want to do a bigger arc,” he explained. “‘Independence Day’ was always like the king who leads his troops into battle against an evil force, and that stays like that.”

Independence Day arc: Aliens land.  Aliens blow sh-t up.  WELCOME DA EARFF!  Humans blow up aliens.  So what might the “bigger arc” be?  Aliens land.  Aliens blow sh-t up. WELCOME DA EARFF! Humans blow up aliens.  …Pool party?  That’s how they’d do it on Entourage.

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(It’s just not the same without Yakety Sax)

2012 is already looking like the front runner for winter’s best comedy, and here’s a subway ad for it in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil.  (I hear the tunnels are where Blanka from Street Fighter hides).  Anyway, pretty cool.  It’s funny, Roland Emmerich didn’t blow up any Muslim landmarks in his movie because he was worried about them getting mad, yet he blew off the famous Brazilian Jesus’ arms in the trailer and they let him put a giant subway ad there.  Gosh, I can’t imagine there’s any correlation between the number of hot, scantily clad women that live in a place and the number of touchy, pissed off a-holes there.

[via SciFiSquad]

This is a little video called Raising 2012, made by this guy.  The one great thing to come out of 2012 being so terrible is how much random people on the internet have been able to improve it with simple editing choices.  See also: 2012 without FX, 2012 – the Disaster Porn trailer for examples.  This time around, the only change was to sub in some music from Raising Arizona, and yet… it’s SO MUCH BETTER!  I also would’ve accepted “Yakety Sax.”  In fact, and I’m just gonna lay this out there because it’s my dream, close your eyes and imagine:  Greasy Sax Man playing “Yakety Sax” in the top right corner of the trailer, greenscreen vignette-style, like those old sign language translators.  Oh wouldn’t it… beee niiiiice….

UPDATE: Now with more Yakety Sax (bottom video)
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