Last we checked in on the development of the Roland Emmerich-directed Channing Tatum thriller White House Down, the action was getting intense and the all-star A-list cast was only just unfolding. C-Tates, of course, stars as Secret Service agent Cole “Snoop” Baretta, as the White House is overrun by terrorists and President Jefferson Washington (played by rapper T-Pain) is kidnapped and held for ransom. The price? Baretta’s own blood.

But now, thanks to Baretta’s sidekick Pit Bull the American Bulldog (voiced by Pit Bull), the tables have turned on the terrorists and they just might be able to rescue President Washington in time for the BET Awards after parties.

This week I’m proud to leak the storyboards for Scenes 4 and 5, which include incredible cameos by John Malkovich, Clint Eastwood and Rosie O’Donnell. Will Snoop and Pit Bull be able to get out of their latest jam? Yo, they ain’t scurred.

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On Wednesday, Vince brought us the exclusive first look at a storyboard for the upcoming Roland Emmerich action film White House Down, starring the hardest working player in the Hollyweird game, Channing Tatum. What we know of this instant Oscar contender is that Tatum will play a secret service agent who must take matters into his own hands once the White House is overrun by a terrorist cell. Imagine the catchphrases that he’ll spout like, “I’m the bleeder of the free world” or something a little more clever.

Vince was right, though. I do have an inside line into the development of this film, and from what I’ve seen so far, it’s incredible. White House Down is going to have more famous actors than any film you’ve ever seen. I’m pretty sure they even brought some dead ones back to life.

But what you saw the other day was actually the storyboard for scene 2, in which C-Tates (as Cole “Snoop” Baretta) saves the president’s prized chicken from a ninja assassin. Today, I’m proud to debut the storyboards for the movie’s intro scene, as well as the incredible third scene, in which C-Tates’ partner is introduced. Enjoy, yo.

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"Yo Al Qaeda Predator, chiggity check yo self."

Just the other day, we brought you the news that Channing Tatum would be starring in a film from Independence Day/The Patriot-director Roland Emmerich. The film is called White House Down, for Sony, with a premise described as “Die Hard in the White House,” and a script from the writer of The Losers, The Rundown, and the upcoming Total Recall remake (these are all true things, I swear). Burnsy seems to have a source very close to this project, because he was able to share an exclusive excerpt of the script in his original post. I don’t know how Burnsy gets his hands on so much C-Tates-related material, and come to think of it, both he and C-Tates are about the same age, both from Florida, both C-walk like angels, and to my knowledge, have never been photographed or seen in the same room together. In any case, we’ll hopefully be able to continue posting excerpts and behind-the-scenes information from the film, starting with today’s exclusive selection from the official storyboard.

Enjoy:

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"Yo Al Qaeda Predator, chiggity check yo self."

If you were worried that your Hollywood blockbusters were turning into an endless loop of Battleship, with uninspired plots and grossly unrealistic budgets, sleep well tonight, because Roland Emmerich and Columbia Pictures are going to save the world. Columbia recently paid $3 million for a spec script for White House Down, written by James Vanderbilt, who is the man behind the remakes of Total Recall and RoboCop, as well as classics like The Losers and The Rundown.

The premise? Die Hard in the White House. Except this time, terrorists don’t have to deal with Bruce Willis. Now they have to get past the hardest twerkin’ man in $ho BizNa$$, Channing Tatum.

… a Die Hard-style scenario of having the group of antagonists take over a building, in this case the White House, and having one man fight with limited resources against impossible odds and extraordinary obstacles.

Tatum would play a Secret Service agent who happens to be a single dad and must save the president when 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. is taken over by paramilitary group. (Via the Hollywood Reporter)

Can he please be the White House chef that’s also an ex-Navy SEAL? Oh, and can he also be an Army Ranger released from prison with the ability to drive any vehicle? Because that would pretty much be perfect.

However, I can personally assure you that this film will be unlike XXX: State of the Union any film you’ve ever seen, because I have received an advanced excerpt of the script, written exclusively for Tatum.

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In case you forgot, Universal is still moving forward with a big screen adaptation of the 1980s video game “Asteroids.” The game, of course, was about a triangle that spins around in circles and fires at trapezoids that split into tinier shapes, supposedly representing giant rocks hurling through outer space. At some point, an executive at Universal said, “People would probably want to watch a movie about that triangle” and he cut a check for a few million dollars to buy the rights.

Now, the Lorenzo di Bonaventura production, being directed by none other than Roland Emmerich, has picked up a writer, who will somehow create a plot for this film, while pretending that Armageddon never happened. I like to think we all already pretend that.

Universal’s adaptation of the Atari video game Asteroids, meanwhile, will be written by Evan Spiliotopoulos. Matt Lopez (The Sorcerer’s Apprentice) originally worked on the script. Spiliotopoulos was a writer on the upcoming Snow White and the Huntsman.

The trade says “the plotline for the film adaptation has evolved into the story of two estranged brothers that must team up to save Earth from an alien race.” [Via Coming Soon]

Hold on, an alien race? I assume they’re going to imply that creatures from outer space are suddenly firing giant space rocks at Earth and these estranged brothers will have to overcome their hatred of each other – probably because one married the other’s high school sweetheart or raped his dog, or something like that – to fly away in a triangle and spin around and break the asteroids into tiny little pieces. There, I just saved Spiliotopoulos a lot of time.