Jackass‘s Ryan Dunn died in a car wreck Monday, and as you’ve no doubt heard by now, yesterday Roger Ebert controversially tweeted (ridiculous as that phrase sounds, it’s accurate), “Friends don’t let jackasses drink and drive.”  There was the predictable outcry, notably from Dunn’s high school friend Bam Margera (who overreacted, as might be expected of a guy who just lost a friend and who frequently wears eyeliner), culminating in Ebert’s Facebook page getting shut down due to complaints from Bam fans (it’s since been restored). I didn’t cover this right away, probably because I’m the last person in the world to shout “too soon” or complain about insensitive humor (in fact, “inappropriate” is my least favorite word in the English language, solely for the number of times I’ve been bludgeoned with it by the humorless).  But something about hearing Ebert defend what he said as if he wasn’t joking at all, as if he was actually just trying to turn this event into a learning moment like some kind of male Oprah, just rubs me the wrong way.

“What did I mean by that? I meant exactly what I wrote. I wasn’t calling Ryan Dunn a jackass. In Twitter shorthand, I was referring to his association with “Jackass.” I thought that was clear. I note that Bam Margera uses the word “jackass” in the same way in his tweet. [Tuesday p.m.note: Of course there was a double meaning. I was implying that someone who drinks and drives is a jackass. Just as I was when I was drinking.]“

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The big news today is that Joaquin Phoenix went on Letterman last night, this time not in character.  You can hear all about it from boyish wonder Matt Ufford over on WarmingGlow, but probably the best exchange was Dave demanding money for his appearance in I’m Still Here, now that they’ve publicly admitted it wasn’t a strict “documentary.”

Joaquin: “Can we talk about it privately?”

Dave: “Yeah, I’ll go to one of your screenings.”

ZING!  Seriously though, well played, Letterman.  Meanwhile, over on his blog, Roger Ebert published an email exchange with Casey Affleck about the documentary concept which is worth a read, if you’re into that sort of thing.  My sister was a reader.

The bottom line: Casey Affleck thinks of it as a performance and not as an act, and he thinks of “I’m Still Here” as a film, and not a hoax. In an interview where he revealed details behind the making of his controversial film with and about Joaquin Phoenix, he also said:

- David Letterman was not in on the performance, and what you saw on his show was really happening.

- Phoenix dropped out of character when he was not being filmed or in public.

- The drugs and the hookers were staged. The vomiting was real. [phew!]

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"One mustn't show deference to za bear, or else za bear haz already won."

Roger Ebert recently attended a lecture where Werner Herzog discussed his movie Aguirre: The Wrath of God, and while that’s not the main focus of this post, Werner Herzog can’t take a dump without saying or doing something quotable, and who am I to deny you of that?  I’m just a humble blogger with a magical crotch. A couple gems:

- A quarter-mile upstream from this shot, Herzog says, he returned only a year ago to the Urubamba river to shoot a scene for his latest film, “My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done.” Nobody asked him why, and indeed it is hard to pinpoint a reason why footage from a Peruvian rapids was required for a crime drama set in San Diego. Somehow, with Herzog, you don’t ask such a question.

- Herzog said he doesn’t give a great deal of thought to composition. “I focus entirely on the subject of the shot.” One shot shows the fat man straddling a cannon and eating a mango. A voice asks, “Is that a phallic symbol?” Herzog replies” “It honestly never occurred to me until you pointed it out. I wanted to have a shot showing the man who consumed all our mangos.”

Good stuff.  Anyway, let’s get down to ass tax: Herzog also revealed that he’ll be shooting a documentary about the 32,000-year-old paintings inside the Cave of Chauvet-Pont-d’Arc in Southern France… in 3D.
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Here’s Ebert testing out his computer voice in an Oprah segment. If they did this for Oprah, they’d need two programs.  One regular one, and one for when she talks black. |Videogum|

Best Worst Movie, a documentary about the cult popularity of Troll 2, is getting a theatrical release courtesy of the distributor behind Anvil.  I’d like to see Snooki maintain this kind of popularity after 20 years. |FilmSchoolRejects|

OH MY GOD IT’S A NEW PICTURE FROM TRON, HOLD MY MAN PURSE WHILE MY BUTTHOLE PROLAPSES! |SlashFilm|

Nicole Kidman is attached to The Wedding Doctor.  “Kidman would play a relationship analyst who advises couples on their interpersonal dynamics before they marry. But after she meets her latest clients, the doc decides she’d actually be a better match for the groom-to-be, triggering a showdown with his fiancée.”  Sounds like she’ll be channeling Nia Vardalos in her last movie.  Hey, she’s got the neck veins for it. |Vulture|

Hyundai can’t run the commercials for which they’d bought spots during the Oscars, because Jeff Bridges does the voiceover and he’s also a nominee, which is against Academy rules.  The Chinamen are not the issue here, dude.  Also, Dude, Chinamen is not the preferred nomenclature.  Hyundai is Korean. |AdAge|

Zach Galifianakis Interview Excerpt — Lupe Fiasco recently used your name in a rap lyric about his own greatness. How do you feel about that? I heard that. I haven’t heard the song. I will be happy when Dolly Parton uses me in a song, then I’ve made it. There are a lot of rap guys out there.  He said he was the “black rap Zach Galifianakis.” He should have said his name was Black Galifianakis. That would have been a better song. —- I would gay marry you so hard, Chad Farthouse. |NYMag|

Russell Brand is set to star in a remake of Dudley Moore’s Arthur.  I didn’t see that, but given it starred Dudley Moore and Russell Brand, I’m guessing it didn’t involve pulling a sword out of a rock. |THR|

(Just look at Siskel and tell me that dude wasn’t giving out mad mustache rides)

Roger Ebert lost his voice to salivary-gland cancer in 2006 (yet Tyra Banks continues to speak — thanks, God), but thanks to a Scottish company called CereProc, he now has a computer program that can speak what he types in his own voice.  You can read Ebert’s own rundown of the process here, but the gist is that they created an automated voice program using his commentary tracks from old DVDs.

The new voice, which Ebert calls “Roger Jr.,” will be heard predicting Oscar winners on a segment of “The Oprah Winfrey Show” airing Tuesday.

“Yes, ‘Roger Jr.’ needs to be smoother in tone and steadier in pacing, but the little rascal is good,” Ebert wrote. “To hear him coming from my own computer made me ridiculously happy.” [Yahoo]

Cool story, but honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is.  If you had the choice of any voice in the world, would you really choose your own?  I’d much rather see Roger Ebert vs. Stephen Hawking in a Yo Mama-joke battle using the voices of James Earl Jones and Don LaFontaine.  Hell, I can talk perfectly fine, and I’d still like to have the Iron-Man voice from Black Sabbath available for when I order Chinese food.  Iiii want mooo goo gai paaaan….