My favorite film of Sundance was Brazilian director José Padilha’s Elite Squad 2, which I called, in a not-at-all hyperbolic review, a two-hour Brazilian The Wire on steroids.  As soon as the credits rolled, I figured Hollywood would be trying to give Padilha a jillion dollars to direct their next action remake/prequel/sequel/reboot, and even asked him as much during the Q & A (I’ve included a transcript and audio of the actual exchange below). Today, the Hollywood Reporter says Padilha’s the lead candidate to direct a remake of Robocop for MGM. My God, you guys, do you know what this means?  I just TOLDJA’d the entire internet.

Jose Padilha, the Brazilian director behind the gritty South American Elite Squad movies, is in talks to direct Robocop, the film project which is the reconstituted MGM’s top priority. The studio was meeting with directors last week — others on the list included Robert Rodriguez [*mouth wank*] and David Slade [*fart shrug*] – with Padilha emerging a top cop.
The new MGM is looking to make three pictures to start, two in the $30 million range and one in the $80 million range. Robocop has the latter slot. MGM is also zeroing on writers to pen a new script.
[THR]

Hiring Padilha means at least MGM has taste, and I can’t imagine anyone being able to make a more badass Robocop than this guy, especially if his heart’s in it.  And according to Padilha, he’s not looking for paycheck movies.  This was our exchange at Sundance:

ME: Are you going to continue making awesome movies like [Elite Squad 2] or are you going to take a really big paycheck to make Pirates of the Caribbean 7 or something?

PADILHA: Well let me address this: believe me, you can take a big paycheck out of a movie like this.  This movie is totally independent in a very broad sense, because it was produced by us. And Wagner [lead actor Wagner Moura], who is sitting here with us, is actually one of the producers of the film.  The Screenwriter is a producer.  The people that made the first movie, we got together, and we said let’s make a sequel, but let’s keep it.  So we opened a distribution company with six people in it.  Six people calling theaters, and sending the prints and everything, and it got us a lot of money, so… Not looking for paychecks.

Incidentally, Elite Squad 2 went on to become the highest-grossing Brazilian movie of all time and outgrossed Avatar there. I’m inclined to believe that Padilha wasn’t looking for a big paycheck because I’m trusting like that, but it looks like he found one anyway.  But if as few f*cks are given during the making of Robocop as were given during Elite Squad 2, I will be happy.  And no doubt, so will you.  Friends, trust me when I say that very few f*cks were given during the making of Elite Squad 2.  VERY few f*cks.

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I09 recently caught up with San Francisco businessman Pete Hottelet, who donated $25,000 towards the Detroit Robocop statue and owns a company named after the fictional company in Robocop which makes movie-related tchotchkes. If you can believe it, Pete isn’t exactly media shy, and he offered updates on the project as well as the picture of the models above.

One of Hottelet’s key points is that the statue already has a privately-owned location in mind (the Imagination Station) if all else falls through, and it has the statue rights all worked out.  “It’s going to happen,” he assures multiple times.

What will the statue look like?

Fred Barton Productions has generously offered access to an extremely accurate restoration of the Robocop suit from the first movie. His artist has been working on it for the last five years. That’s right: five years! It even includes suit detail that was never shown on screen (like the plug and vents in the left rear of the torso).[...]

The pose will likely be a pose similar to this image (right):

The primary objectives will be to make sure the statue is of the highest quality possible, and has the greatest longevity. So to those ends, bronze is a good choice because it’s extremely durable in an outdoor setting.

Gun or no gun?

Again, going back to the reasoning along the same lines as the Superman statue. Superman has deadly heat vision, and he uses it when necessary, but the concepts and ideals that he stands for are not irrevocably tied to the use of deadly force.

Uhhhh, yes they are.  Look, hippie, it’s Robocop.  The “ideals he stands for” are being made of metal and shooting people, this ain’t a Rosa Parks statue.

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Catfish Sex.  Above you see the trailer for Uncle Boonme Who Can Remember His Past Lives.  It won the Palm D’Or at Cannes, which is less interesting to me than the fact that it has a cool poster which sort of looks like a Polish poster, and a trailer that involves ghosts, laser eyes, and a woman having sex with a catfish. (*singing) These are a few of my fav-or-ite thiiiiings…. |ThePlaylist/HD trailer at Apple|

Spider-Man Musical getting another rewrite. After being savaged by critics in previews, Julie Taymor’s Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark is getting more rewrites in advance of its March 15th opening. Hmm, is there any way for him to rewrite the part about it being a $65 million Spider-man musical with songs by U2? Otherwise this is going to be hard. |Deadline|

Bank-robbing magicians. Incredible Hulk directory Louis Leterrier’s next film will be a heist flick called Now You See Me, about “a crack FBI squad in a game of cat-and-mouse against a super team of the world’s greatest illusionists, who pull off a series of daring bank heists during their performances and showers the profits on to their audiences.”  COPPERFIELD: I’ll make the vault door disappear!  PENN JILLETTE: I’ll distract the guards with sleight of hand!  BLAINE: I’ll live in a glass box for a week! …Aw, dammit. Who invited Blaine? |Collider|

No Robocop Reboot. According to MGM, rumors of Robocop’s reboot have been greatly exaggerated. Conflicting reports? That’s strange. MGM always seemed like such a pillar of stability and follow-through. |CinemaBlend|

Hailee Steinfeld has a Groundhog Memento or something. True Grit actress signed for Forgotten,in which “Steinfeld will play London Lane, a 16-year old whose memory is erased at 4:33 every night. The following morning, all she can remember are events from her future. After meeting a new boy at school, London becomes frustrated that she can’t seem to find him in her memory of things to come.”  Holy sh*t, who wrote this, Steven Seagal? |Deadline|

Paul Blart Presents: Madagasfart:

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"MAKE ME LOOK PRETTY!"

Sally Struthers can dump flies in the eyes of every child in Africa, and Sarah McClachlan can sing 100 more sad songs directly into the swollen anal glands of abandoned puppies, but the fact is, nothing opens people’s wallets like kitschy references to 80s movies.  See? Hollywood movie execs are just like us.

The Detroit Robocop statue, which started as a joke tweet to the mayor, but soon became a real fund-raising effort, has already surpassed its $50,000 goal.  That’s enough to get it built on the cheap, but fundraising will still continue until the planned deadline of March 29th, with all future money going to MAKING IT LOOK EVEN MORE BADASS.  I love America.

With 1,500 donations and hundreds pouring in every day at www.detroitneedsrobocop.com, the group plans to continue raising money until the March 29 deadline to make the statue of “as big and good as possible,” said Detroit artist Jerry Paffendorf, who is helping raise donations.

“This could be a multi-hundred-thousand-dollar KickStarter,” Paffendorf said, referring to the online service hub for ideas looking for funding. “It’s remarkable.”

Once the price tag is determined, a team of skilled sculptures, including a team that worked with Bjork’s husband, Matthew Barney [lolwut?], will build the sculpture from any number of materials. The group is working with the Mayor’s Office to consider public spots, such as areas near Comerica Park or a downtown park.

Supporters of the statue got a big boost Tuesday when San Francisco businessman, Pete Hottelet, donated $25,000.

“Despite everything, we live in a great country, and every day, there’s an opportunity out there to do something awesome,” Hottelet, owner of Omni Consumer Products [UPDATE: Whose company name is based on the corporation from Robocop*], told the Free Press. “You just have to find it.” [DetroitFreePress]

…Hottelet said while shoving a retarded beggar kid with his gold cane.  But what will they do with all the extra money they get between now and March 29th?  I hope they bring on Michael Bay as a consultant.  “Flames, definitely flames.”

It all started with a not-serious Tweet to the Detroit mayor, but the thing about ideas is that once they’re out there, they’re out there.  You can’t just stuff them back in your mind like memories of swim lessons with your uncle.  The idea of a Robocop statue in Detroit is the world’s now, and the world demands that it happen.

Now DetroitNeedsRobocop has come up with a real plan: a Robocop statue as part of The Imagination Station, “a blighted Roosevelt Park home turned public art project co-founded by Jerry Paffendorf and Mary Lorene Carter.”

They’ve started a Kickstarter page and so far have raised $8,775 of a $50,000 goal.  Nine grand might not seem like much, but in Detroit, it’s enough to buy four houses, with enough left over for a gun to protect you from the corpse dogs.

Although Mayor Bing dismissed a city-financed landmark, he said he will entertain using public land for a donated statue.
“We recognize and respect public art, and are receptive to the varying tastes and preferences for such,” mayoral spokeswoman Karen Dumas said. “Should the opportunity present itself to receive a donation of this, or any other works of public art, we will consider acceptance and appropriate placement. Until then, we continue working to make the tougher but necessary decisions that will positively impact financial stability, public safety and overall quality of life.” [DetroitFreePress]

Enter the Kickstarter group…

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