Last we checked in with the Wachowski, er, siblings, they were busy doing high-minded stuff like Cloud Atlas and that Brokeback Abu Ghraib movie.  And yet their latest pitch sounds more like a Boost Mobile commercial.  Is it April Fool’s Day yet?

Andy and Lana (formerly Larry) Wachowski are returning to the Warner Bros. fold with Hood, a modern, urban take on the Robin Hood myth.
The Wachowskis wrote the script and will direct the tale, which in keeping with the modus operendi of the duo, is shrouded in secrecy.
The pair are already reaching out to actors, with insiders saying Will Smith as one of those who they reached out to.
While a take on Robin Hood may not be much to go on, knowing the proclivities of the duo, it will undoubtedly have a brand of visual take and their comic book-fused pop art sensitivities. [THR]

Ooh, ‘modus operandi.’  You can fancy this up with your Latin words all you want, it won’t disguise the fact that ‘an urban take on Robin Hood called Hood’ sounds like a poster in Tracy Jordan’s office, or a Martin Lawrence bit that starts with, ‘You know if that’d a been a brother stealin from the rich, he’d a been all like…”

Might as well have called it “Robbin’ Hood.”  You could have a poster with Ice Cube holding up a big burlap sack with a dollar sign on it.

Robin Hood: Anatomy of a Clusterf*ck Or Origin Story? More like BORE-igin story.

Robin Hood is a disaster. True, you might not notice it right away. You might make it through 40, 50 minutes, an hour of it without realizing it.  But like the women I make sex to, by the time it ends, you will be angry and disappointed, I guarantee it. If you aren’t, you weren’t paying attention. But hopefully, by remembering what happened here, we can prevent future disasters.  NEVER AGAIN.

A few years back, Kelsey Grammer starred in a fact-based movie for HBO about the Bradley fighting vehicle. The gist of it was that Kelsey Grammer was overseeing a big defense contract to create this new military vehicle. It started out as a troop transport, but somewhere along the way, someone suggested that it should also have a big gun. So they gave it a big gun. Then someone else said it should be really fast, to do reconnaissance, so they tried to make it light and fast. Then someone else said that in addition to being light, it should have heavy armor to protect the passengers, so they gave it more armor. They kept trying to implement all these suggestions, and a billion dollars later, they had “a troop transport that can’t carry troops, a reconnaissance vehicle that’s too conspicuous to do reconnaissance, and a quasi-tank that has less armor than a snowblower, but carries enough ammo to take out half of D.C.”

Robin Hood is that vehicle.

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This picture just showed up on Buzzfeed (via this guy).  It’s pretty funny, guy wearing a suit and Robin Hood robbing from the rich and all of that.  Only the guy’s probably not too rich if he’s riding on the subway and wearing those shoes.  And I’d probably have 50 jokes at the ready, if only he’d been holding sandwiches and not books.  Looks like you’ve screwed me again, God.

[Thanks for the tip, Robopanda]

In an epic undertaking, Screenrant recently cut together this super trailer for 24 films all opening this summer.  I say epic because the soundtrack is fortified with epic opera gasps, which usually means you’re about to watch some incredible sh*t go down, like batman flying off the top of a building, or a couple of cage fighters touch dick tips.  But in this case in means you’re about to see footage from:

Inception — Iron Man 2 — Robin Hood –Predators — Scott Pilgrim vs. the World — Salt — Knight & Day –The A-Team — MacGruber– The Sorcerer’s Apprentice — Killers – Splice — The Other Guys — The Karate Kid — Shrek Forever After — Toy Story 3 — Despicable Me — The Last Airbender — The Expendables — The Twilight Saga: Eclipse — Dinner for Schmucks — Get Him to the Greek — Grown Ups — Sex and the City 2

Of course, some of them don’t quite fit the “much-anticipated blockbuster” bill.  For instance: Grown Ups, in which Kevin James’ daughter asks him “Daddy, did you make a sissy?” (his new epitaph)  Or Nic Cage as a Man Witch, or Tom Cruise in I Hope They Don’t Serve Gays in There.  Those don’t need epic opera gasps so much as a slide whistle and whoopie cushion.

TONIGHT WE DINE AT TACO BELL!

Today we’ve got a new fight scene clip from Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood.  When we first heard about this movie, it was called Nottingham, and it was supposed to tell the story of Robin Hood from the Sheriff’s point of view.  Then later, the story was Russell Crowe was playing both Robin Hood AND the Sheriff, like some kind of multiple personality thing.  Fast forward to now, and Baskin and Robin Hood — basically a fatter, more Gladiator-y Robin Hood.

Not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with that, I guess.  I mean, I like the people being shot with flaming arrows thing.  That was the best scene in Gladiator.  But then at the 50-second mark, some guy yells, “BLOOD FOR FROGS!”

Yeah!  Hoorah, blood for frogs!  Wait, what?  What are we chanting?  Are we supposed to get that reference?  I do no know what that means.  Whatever, he says it with such conviction, I say we just run with it.  Maybe it could be the new “RELEASE THE KRAKEN.”

Eh.  Or not. -Headline blatantly stolen from Crooow