As if we hadn’t already beaten the dead Predator horse and taken a dump inside its skull and used its spine as dildo for homeless people*, Robert Rodriguez is producing ‘Predators’. The latest word is that they’ve hired Nimrod Antal, director of the Hungarian subway movie Kontroll (which was kind of neat), to direct. Rodriguez said of the plot:
I can’t go too much into the story right now, because we’re still writing. But it still involves a very intense group of people stranded on a Predator planet discovering unspeakable horrors (that are not always from outside their group). So like the original movie, the title does have a double meaning. [via a million-word article on AICN]
Kontroll was interesting, but the list of foreign directors who made cool flicks elsewhere only to come to Hollywood and take paychecks to do garbage is long and consonant filled. In fact, the last guy attached to this project was Neil Marshall, who followed the badass Descent with post-apocalyptic car porn Doomsday. Anyway, I think this will be great if by “intense people” they mean Christian Bale and the silent Indian guy from the first Predator and they just growl at each other like dogs for two hours.
*though to be fair, I have heard people say AVP: R is actually pretty kickass.
This is the poster for Cold Souls, starring Paul Giamatti, which surprisingly isn’t a Charlie Kaufman movie. [Cinematical]
Danny Trejo ees not going to be een The Expendables after all, guey. He will, however, be in Machete, which is likely to be Robert Rodriguez’ next project, despite what you may have been heard about Predators, Nerverackers, or The Jetsons. Or not. Who knows with Robert Rodriguez. He’s quickly becoming the Mexican Brett Ratner. [ThePlaylist]
Gordon Chan is doing a movie based on the King of Fighters video game. I don’t know what that is, but the movie has Sean Faris in it so it’ll probably be really, really good. Somewhere, Cam Gigandet silently glares at his blackberry. [movieset]
Wanted director Timur Bekmambetov (boxing nickname: The Black Mambetov) claims Angelina Jolie will be back for Wanted 2, even though her character died at the end of the [SPOILER ALERT] first one. How will they do that? Time travel, I’m guessing. The first one relied on a giant mechanical loom supposedly built in pre-industrial times, I doubt realism is a concern. [MTV]
Roy Rogers will return for a “King of Cowboys” film trilogy, even though Roy Rogers has been dead for 11 years. How will they do that? “Geadelmann said the planned film trilogy will ‘not be a biopic, and will not be a traditional Western, but rather a family fantasy adventure. Roy Rogers, Dale Evans and Trigger are quintessential figures of America, and we will introduce this franchise to a new audience while capitalizing on the millions of Roy Rogers fans worldwide.’” Thanks, now it totally makes sense. Great reporting, Variety. [Variety]
Platinum Dune producers say the next Friday the 13th film (the sequel to the remake… guhh…) may feature Jason in the snow. But the movie itself won’t take place in the snow, because places that have snow are too cold. No seriously, that’s what they said. [CHUD]
Dave Eggers wrote a 300-page novelization of Where the Wild Things Are “about the confusions of a boy, Max, making his way in a world he can’t control. His father is gone, his mother is spending time with a younger boyfriend, his sister is becoming a teenager… At the same time, Max finds himself capable of startling acts of wildness: he wears a wolf suit, bites his mom, and can’t always control his outbursts.” Wait, are we sure this isn’t about Gary Busey? [Amazon]
We’ve known for a while that Robert Rodriguez is producing a Predator remake/sequel called Predators for (who else?) Fox (the pitch: “Like Predator, but… more.”). Now the word (from Bloody-Disgusting) is that Neil Marshall is close to being signed as director.
Marshall began his career with Dog Soldiers and The Descent, the rare, actually entertaining-and-well-done horror movie, then went on to direct Doomsday, which looked like Mad Max as sponsored by Bentley and crystal meth. And now it looks like he’s doing a fifth Predator movie. Are you ready or not? Tick. Tick. Tick… (*fart*)
While the proposed Predator reboot is already losing steam with Robert Rodriguez only producing and not directing as originally reported, Fox co-chair Tom Rothman claimed in a recent interview with IESB that Ridley Scott was “toying with the idea” of doing another Aliens movie.
Excited? Don’t be. This is still Fox we’re talking about. You may remember their last alien movie? The one with Eddie Murphy living inside an Eddie Murphy-shaped spaceship? The one that got outgrossed by Soul Plane? And as for Ridley Scott? Yeah, he’ll be good to go once he finishes his movie based on MOTHER EFFING MONOPOLY. Ahh, what a crappy time to be alive.
Robert Rodriguez has been reportedly attached to so many damned projects since Grindhouse - Sin City 2, Red Sonja, Barbarella, The Jetsons, Nerveracker, and others - that I’m not sure I believe him anymore. As originally reported by BloodyDisgusting in January and now “confirmed” by IESB, Rodriguez will produce and direct Predators for Fox.
In a news conference today at Troublemaker Studios, several Texas state politicians were in attendance to sign HB 873, the long-awaited reform of the Texas film incentive program. Rodriguez talked to the audience of press members and revealed his upcoming film slate. “I’m going to be able to shoot my upcoming Machete here, a sci-fi action film called Nervewrackers, a re-boot of the Predator series called Predators, and a couple of smaller movies called Sin City 2 and The Jetsons.”
Meanwhile, Variety reports Rodriguez is “eyeing” a June start date for Machete.
Machete [Danny Trejo, puto] is a Mexican ex-Federale with a gift for wielding a blade, who hides out as a day laborer, who is double-crossed by a corrupt state senator. Not immediately clear is whether Rodriguez and Overnight will find a way to use the irresistible marketing slogan that appeared in the “Grindhouse” trailer: “This time, they f*cked with the wrong Mexican.”
“Ju tole me feefty dolars for mow jour lawn, saynator, but ju no pay. Now I get my cousins for kick jour ass!” I think a cooler title for Machete would be Mexican Judo. I also don’t count my Rodriguez projects before they’re on screen. Something tells me he uses movie ideas more as a way to bone chicks like Rose McGowan than as an actual career guide.
