Thanks to the magic of the internet, we have this screen shot from a Robert Pattinson fan site and the ads Google chose to accompany it, which all deal with sex offenders. Cute. But, logically, would sex offenders really be looking for other sex offenders? I don’t think they party like that. …From what I’ve heard. In fact, as far as target audience goes, I think cat products would’ve been a better sell. Oh, and as for the site name, “spunk-ransom“, that apparently came from an interview in which Robert Pattinson said he hated his name, and if he could choose a new one, it’d be “Spunk Ransom.” Uh, does that mean the same thing in British? Because in American that means holding another man’s jizz. Or the price you’d pay for a another man’s jizz. Not that there’s, uh, anything wrong with that. Read the rest of this entry »
BestWeekEver calls them briefs, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say these Robert Pattinson underpants were actually meant for girls, which would make them panties (which is a very sexy word… panties). Sure, they aren’t a very hip or sexy cut as far as ladies’ underwear goes, but let’s be honest, if you’re wearing abstinent vampire panties, the only one who’s gonna see them is your cats. And it’s not like you have to worry about visible panty lines when you’re wearing B.U.M. sweatpants. Oh, and in addition to having Edward Cullen’s face on your crotch, they put his mouth right where your V crust or snail trails or whatever girls have down there coagulates. It’ll be the first time Edward Cullen has ever helped make panties dry. Haha, good one, Jay.
First person to make a joke about drinking period blood gets thrown up on.
Here’s what the Twihards had to say about them:
Twilight Saga: New Moon just released three new posters, and the clear winner is awkward eye contact. The posters feature the Cullens, Dakota Fanning’s Volturi (GRR, VAMPIRE POLICE!), and those greasy ethnic werewolves who specialize in shapeshifting and tempting white women, respectively. But in each case, their direct gaze seems to say, “I desperately want to eyeball f’ck you, but you’ll have to settle for eye-blowjobs until we’re married. It’s much sexier this way, no?”
Meanwhile, the creeper award goes to the guy in the top right corner of the Cullen poster. Jesus he’s scary. It looks like he’s been taking acting lessons from the Fame kid. Make love to the camera! Yes! Yes! Now, put your jazz hands down its pants!
[via Yahoo]
The newest trailer for Twilight Saga: New Moon premiered at the MTV Whatever it was this time awards last night, and it looks like they’re targeting the male demographic with this one. This latest trailer is more plot driven and less meaningful-glance driven, and it looks pretty ridiculous — in, dare I say it, a good way.
Edward sends Bella away so the vampire police don’t hurt her, driving her straight into the greasy ethnic arms of a chiseled werewolf. She also notices that the only time she sees Edward is during near-death experiences. SO, she becomes an ADRENALINE JUNKIE who takes to doing EXTREME MOTORCYCLE STUNTS, and CLIFF JUMPING. OOH WHAA-AA AA-AAH! Then she almost drowns, but is saved by… A GHOST LIFEGUARD!! *singing Baywatch theme* Soooome people stand, in the darkness/afraid to step intooooo the liiiight…. Cuz I’m always reeeady/I won’t let you out of myyy siiight… (eerie how well that applies here, isn’t it?*) But then Edward thinks Bella’s dead, so he runs off to pull some Romeo & Juliet sh’t. And then there’s, like, some chick with a scarf, and then THE WEREWOLVES COME! And Edward gets CHOKE SLAMMED!!! Oh man, this is gonna be the best movie since xXx: State of the Union!
*Seriously though, if you play the Twilight trailer above and the Baywatch intro below at the same time and watch the muted Twilight trailer while the Baywatch song plays, it totally syncs up like Wizard of Oz and Pink Floyd.
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