After the jump, I’ve got the newest trailer for Sherlock Holmes 2, which– hey, notice how none of us even bat an eye when typing that phrase? “Sherlock Holmes 2.” And I’ll bet sixpence and bowler hat we’ll eventually see “Sherlock Holmes 3D.” Anyway, the official title is Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows, and the whole crew is back — director Guy Ritchie, Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, and Rachel “Angel Ass” McAdams, along with new additions Jared Harris (as Professor Moriarty) and Stephen Fry (as Sherlock’s brother, Mycroft). The latest installment promises all the gunplay and slow-motion explosions you remember from the 19th century novels, plus, my new favorite character, “Reaction Shot Bulldog,” who often witness the action and barks charmingly. I happen to think French bulldogs are slightly cuter, though I prefer to call them “Freedom Bulldogs.”

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The first trailer for The Avengers is here and you know it’s a big deal because iTunes finally offered an embeddable video player (seriously, we’ve been waiting for this for like four years). Marvel’s great experiment in turning over their biggest project to Joss Whedon, a guy known mainly for cult shows that get cancelled before the mainstream ever sees them, stars Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Robert Downey Jr, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, and Mark “Ruffalo Bill” Ruffalo. I’ve never actually seen a Joss Whedon show, so this is particularly exciting for me.

First impressions: It looks like Loki from Thor is the villain, which is… odd. And the lighting looks really bright and even in every scene, like they’re shooting a superhero sitcom.

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Entertainment Weekly put The Avengers on the cover of their latest issue and released some official pictures of the cast in costume. They’re mostly pretty boring and not nearly as entertaining as any of Chris Evans’ facial expressions from the last batch of spy pics, but the one point of interest seems to be Mark Ruffalo’s musky, lascivious portrayal of Bruce Banner. Most people are calling it blue steel, and such and such, and talking about how Mark Ruffalo is really, really, like, ridiculously sultry looking. But I get what he’s going for. That’s just his science face.

Science me. Science me raw.

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After the jump, you can watch Robert Downey Jr. smoke pipes, solve crimes, crack wise, and generally chew scenery in the new trailer for Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows (seriously, can we just put a f*cking “2″ after these things? you’re not fooling anyone.). Whereas I think you’d have to be genuinely retarded to still want to see Johnny Depp mince about in eyeliner and wink at the camera in a Pirates movie (not that I don’t still love Johnny Depp despite it), watching Robert Downey Jr. act cute and witty still seems fresh. Well, not fresh, maybe, but eminently watchable. It probably has a lot to do with Jerry Bruckheimer not being involved in this. That assh*le ruins everything.

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MONKEY IN A DRESS! MONKEY IN A DRESS!

A monkey in a dress stole the show at last night’s Hangover 2 premiere in Hollywood, which is a fine metaphor for all movie premieres.  If the world does end tomorrow, this is probably how I deserve to be remembered: giggling at a monkey wearing a dress, trying to think of a pearl-necklace joke.  Pictures come courtesy of the Daily Mail, where I found this, perhaps the finest line in the history of journalism:

“But it wasn’t Crystal’s outfit that stole the show at the premiere of the Hangover 2 last night, but the fact she’s a monkey.”

Game over, man, game over.

Holy. Sh*t. Quick, someone put that monkey over a vent that blows her skirt up.

This is the essence of every Hollywood movie premiere.  “DANCE MONKEY! SHOW US YOUR DRESS!”

If they started doing inter-species versions of “Who wore it best” I would read the sh*t out of US Weekly.

“Oh hey, girl.  Yeah, it’s Dolce & Banana.”

[thanks, Chino]

“Try to snap one her getting out of cab!  See if you can get a shot of her monkey fufu!”

"Uh, I'm here for the gangbang?"

Oh, and Robert Downey Jr. was there.  I think he stole Mickey Rourke’s outfit.  Nice boots, brah.  He must’ve tucked the pants into them to keep out the monkeys.  (*taps temple with index finger*)  Smart.

[DailyMail]