At this point, not much is known about Tyrannosaurus Rex, the project for which Rob Zombie recently released this poster on his MySpace page.  So far we know:

- It opens in 2009
- The tagline is brilliant
- Danny Trejo is in the running for the lead

[via JoBlo] 

UPDATE: Thanks to a tipster to QuietEarth, we now have a synopsis: "it’s about a wrestler named Tyrannosaurus Rex who is on the run from a biker gang from hell. The idea for the film is loosely based on the comic book Zombie did with Steve Niles (30 Days of Night) entitled THE NAIL." Here’s the synopsis for the comic: Hunted in one of the most desolate regions of America, preyed upon by an evil that does not sleep, Rex Hauser is The Nail – and it’s time he took a stand. A semi-pro wrestler, Hauser has been touring the country performing at small-time arenas until the fateful night he and his family run afoul of a bloodthirsty gang of Satanic bikers stalking the North Dakota Badlands. Now he’s a lone man fighting for the survival of his loved ones in a no-holds-barred standoff against the forces of Hell itself! The Nail is a relentless, unflinching portrait of the heart of darkness, and what one man will sacrifice to hold it at bay. -Thanks to Robo for the tip

Stalags, a documentary about the intensely popular Nazi-themed porno novel craze that briefly swept Israel in the 60s, is currently running at Film Forum in New York City. 

Named after the Nazi prison camps in which they were set, stalags were pulp paperback novels containing breathlessly graphic stories of lusty SS women (not that there actually were any) sexually abusing captured British and American soldiers. They were huge best-sellers, no doubt thanks to titles like "I Was Colonel Schultz’s Private Bitch" and their lurid covers, in which the Nazi-uniform-clad sexual predators bared plenty of cleavage.

But that’s not all!

Unfortunately, "Stalags" is neither entertaining nor insightful enough to be fully satisfying. Despite its endless procession of explicatory talking heads, it barely seems to scratch the surface of its fascinating subject. [Hollywood Reporter]

Huh. I suppose we should’ve expected as much from someone who decided to call the movie “Stalag”, rather than, say, "General Juggstein the Nazi Nut Stomper".  This also sounds eerily similar to Rob Zombie’s faux trailer for Werewolf Women of the SS from Grindhouse (NWS video after the jump).

That’s right, folks, question marks in the headline can mean only one thing: it’s time to prognosticate! Will humans land on Mars?  Is purple the new pink? Would this monkey let me squeeze her tits for a banana?  No one can say for sure, and that means we’re free to speculate wildly! Yee ha!

That may be the strangest headline I’ve ever written. Anyway, rumor has it Rob Zombie is in talks to direct the remake reboot of Conan the Barbarian.

Unlike the Schwartzenegger-filled, camel-punching original, the reboot will supposedly be more faithful to Conan-creator Richard E. Howard’s books.  Thing is, the books, which were first published in the 30s, are basically homoerotic softcore man porn.  For example:

Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet.

All I’m saying is, I don’t know anyone who uses the word "hither" who doesn’t also like the taste of weiner.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  Just seems an odd choice for someone like Rob Zombie who wears platform boots and makeup and big leather things on his wrists and… okay, nevermind actually it makes complete sense.  In fact, "Rob Zombie"?  He might as well be named Bruce Vampire or Serge Werewolf.   

JoBlo took a break from printing fantastical nerd letters and pulled an old Rob Zombie interview that sorta makes him look like an ass. 

I haven't been covering Zombie-related news lately, mainly because a remake of Halloween sounded really boring, but also because Rob Zombie is in his forties and still dresses like a goth kid.  Oh, and he still uses the last name "Zombie", which would only be cool if he married an annoying yuppie bitch and had a kid named "Aiden Zombie". But I digress…

Here’s what Zombie said [back in 2002] in reaction to be asked what he thought of remaking TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE:
"I feel it's the worst thing any filmmaker can do. I actually got a call from my agent and they asked me if I wanted to be involved in a remake of CHAINSAW. I said no fucking way! Those movies are perfect — you're only going to make yourself look like an asshole by remaking them. Go remake something that's a piece of shit and make it good. Like with my movie I have elements of CHAINSAW in it because I love that movie so much, but I wouldn't dare want to "remake" it. It's like a band trying to be another band."

I remade a piece of shit into an ashtray once, I thought I made it look pretty good.  Sometimes I put them in the freezer for later space docking use. There's always that.