(Know why gay pirates never drown? Because they’re flambuoyant! Thanks, you guys have been great, don’t forget to tip your drag queens.)
One thing that always bugged me about Pirates of the Caribbean movies was, aside from all the chattering monkeys and ghosts and dancing skeletons and gay crap, why no dance numbers? Thankfully, that may all change now that Rob Marshall (Chicago, Nine) is directing.
At a DGA screening of Nine, Marshall confirmed that he would be helming the Disney sequel. When asked what he would be doing next, Marshall responded “ya’know, it’s something that I was offered and never in the world thought I would do but then I was like ‘why not?’… I’m doing ‘Pirates of the Caribbean….” Marshall also mentioned that he had met with Johnny Depp, and that they are both excited to work together.
The fourth film will be based on Tim Powers’ pirate novel On Stranger Tides which was optioned by Disney years ago. The plot of the novel: Puppeteer John Chandagnac, bound for Jamaica to recover stolen money from his uncle, becomes Jack Shandy after pirates attack his ship and force him to join their crew. Shandy’s struggle to accept his new life grounds the story for readers, even as Blackbeard and vodun magicians whisk everyone away to dreamlike lands where the Fountain of Youth itself awaits. The chaotic sea battles sing, though at times key events happen so quickly that they get lost in the shuffle as Jack tries to comprehend where he’s going and what’s at stake. [/Film, AICN]
Well that’s great. So many times when I’m watching two ships blast each other with cannon balls while pirates sword fight on the deck, I wonder, “This is great, but what of their existential ennui?”
Rob Marshall (Chicago) directed Nine, a musical about Fellini’s 8 1/2, and though it doesn’t open until Christmas, it feels like I’ve been hearing Oscar buzz about this for three months now. Granted, I hate musicals*. It’s not a knee-jerk jock thing, I just don’t understand the impulse. You’re telling someone a story and all of a sudden you decide to break into song? That’s what homeless people do. But even given it’s not my cup of tea, what the hell is this? Really, Kate Hudson singing a song on a catwalk, that’s your Oscar pick? Does this not feel like a commercial to anyone else? You can try to sexy it up all you want, but I kept expecting Maria Sharapova’s dog to show up. Oh Daniel Day-Lewis, first a bum foot, now jazz hands. Will you ever stop faking disabilities for attention? Keep this up and we might have to date.
*Singin’ in the Rain gets a pass
[via Yahoo]
Variety’s Mike Fleming today reports that Pirates of the Caribean 4, which lost director Gore Verbinski earlier this year, is close to hiring Chicago director Rob Marshall. Ha, more like BUTT Pirates of the GAYribbean, amirite? …Anyway, this is good news, because Chicago is one of my top 10 favorite musicals starring Queen Latifah and Richard Gere.
Producer Jerry Bruckheimer and Disney have been meeting with a number of directors in recent weeks, because the studio wants to pull the “Pirates” film together and have Depp star in it before he does “The Lone Ranger” for the producer and the studio.
According to theplaylist, the plan for Pirates 4 is to focus solely on Depp’s Captain Jack. Which is fine by me as long as there’s a ghost story, or some robots or aliens. That’s what I love about Jerry Bruckheimer, he really knows how to spice up a boring old story about cannons and swordfighting and rape. I mean, who’d wanna watch that? (I hate you.)
Hey, Hollywood, just because Hugh Jackman said “the musical is back!” about 1000 times at the Oscars doesn’t mean you had to run out and make a musical. No one takes Hugh seriously, he just really likes to dance. And even if I wanted to see people sing and dance, I could just watch… EVERY GD SHOW ON TV. Anyway, this one’s called Nine, from Chicago director Rob Marshall, it’s a musical based on Fellini’s 8 1/2.
“NINE” follows the life of world famous film director Guido Contini (Daniel Day-Lewis) as he reaches a creative and personal crisis of epic proportion, while balancing the numerous women in his life including his wife (Marion Cotillard), his mistress (Penelope Cruz), his film star muse (Nicole Kidman), his confidant and costume designer (Judi Dench), an American fashion journalist (Kate Hudson), the whore from his youth (Fergie) and his mother (Sophia Loren). [Apple]
Sometimes me and the whore from my youth like to take paddleboats out on the pond, other times we play badminton, or ride a bicycle built for two.
