People love Bill Murray, because besides managing to seem likable in even the crappiest of movies, he seems to use his fame primarily as a practical joke. There are too many Bill Murray stories to recount here – just recently, he crashed a kickball game in New York – but the latest one comes from Kelly Lynch, who, in addition to playing Patrick Swayze’s love interest in Road House, is married to Mitch Glazer, who co-wrote the 1988 Bill Murray vehicle Scrooged. In an interview with the AV Club, she explains why Bill Murray calls her husband every time Road House is on TV:

AVC: It seems like your sex scene in the film must be one of the most uncomfortable in cinematic history, being up against a rock wall and all. 

KL: Oh, I know, but I was padded. [Laughs.] No one knows, so it looks more painful that it was. They really liked everything about the way that scene looked, with the blonde hair against the rocks behind me, but I was like, “Isn’t this kind of… mean?” So they put a thin padding under my dress, so you can’t see it. But he’s still slamming me against the rocks, so I had to be careful not to hit my head. Thank God Patrick was so strong. He could’ve carried me around that room forever.

Sack up, Kelly, pain don’t hurt.

By the way, speaking of Bill Murray, every time Road House is on and he or one of his idiot brothers are watching TV—and they’re always watching TV—one of them calls my husband and says [In a reasonable approximation of Carl Spackler], “Kelly’s having sex with Patrick Swayze right now. They’re doing it. He’s throwing her against the rocks.” [Away from the receiver.] What? Oh, my God. Mitch was just walking out the door to the set, and he said that Bill once called him from Russia.

Murray’s “idiot brothers” include God Bless America‘s Joel Murray and Brian Doyle Murray from Groundhog Day, probably the last voice you’d ever want to hear talking about your wife having sex with Patrick Swayze. Okay, maybe second to last. Here’s how Mr. Skin describes it:

Read the rest of this entry »

The folks at Red Letter Media are doing the Lord’s work yet again, having compiled every face punch from Road House into one video (bonus trivia that matters only to me: Road House was partly filmed in Reedley, California, the town where I went to high school). And what better way to celebrate the birthday of George Washington, the face-punchingest of US Presidents? (Okay, it was probably Andrew Jackson, but still). In any case, it’s glorious. Girls punch girls, guys punch girls, girls punch guys, fat guys punch skinny guys, skinny guys punch fat guys, and guys who died of pancreatic cancer punch other guys who died of pancreatic cancer (*pours two out for Patrick Swayze and Ben Gazzara*). Seriously though, f*ck you, pancreatic cancer. Anyway, you can watch the supercut below. There was a lot of face punching going on in that movie, and no wonder, it’s contagious. Watching this makes me wish my grandma wasn’t dead so I could punch her right in the mouth. She’d probably just wipe the blood from her mouth on the back of her hand, laugh, and buy us a round of whiskey shots while we talked about pussy. I miss you, grandma.

Read the rest of this entry »

I hesitate to post this for fear of jinxing it, but the Daily Mail reports, based largely on these side-by-side pictures, the left from back in April, the right a recent shot of him looking healthier, that Patrick Swayze may be winning his battle with pancreatic cancer.

The Dirty Dancing star, 56, who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer early last year, appeared to have gained a little weight and grown some of his hair back. He had even added a goatee. Tubes thought to be catheters for his chemotherapy could be seen hanging in front of his shirt but Swayze was smiling and even indulging in a couple of cigarette breaks.

It is thought he had an advanced form of radiotherapy which is offering new hope to sufferers.  The CyberKnife technique shoots hundreds of beams of radiation at hard-to-reach tumours.  Last week cancer patient Robert Ferrant, 62, became one of the first in the UK to have the procedure. Mr Ferrant, from Jersey, said the treatment meant he ‘actually had hope of a cure’ [Ed. note - not sure the patient is the best person to ask in cases such as these...].  The machine, which was reportedly also used by Swayze, shoots hundreds of beams of radiation at difficult-to-reach tumours.  It moves with the patient’s breathing, meaning it can target tumours deemed inoperable due to their proximity to major blood vessels.

I don’t go in for a lot of this science crap, so allow me to explain this for the layperson.  Imagine the CyberKnife standing outside your cells wearing a tight black t-shirt.  Cancer walks into your body and the CyberKnife stands in front of it with its arms folded across its chest and says, “Sorry, body’s closed.”  Then the cancer will be like, “Yeah? Well then what are those cells doing?”  And the CyberKnife will say, all calm like, “Dancing and having a good time.”  Then if the cancer still tries to come in, the CyberKnife beats the crap out of it with karate and tells it to go back to barber college.

Read the rest of this entry »