Rihanna and Danny Trejo met at the tattoo parlor, apparently. I bet Danny Trejo is one of the few guys who constantly gets asked NOT to smile for pictures. |source|

MORNING LINKS
Quick! There’s still time to check out last week’s Frotcast before I post the new one! |Frotcast|

ROFLMNBAO: This Week’s NBA Action In Pictures |With Leather|

Photoshop Challenge: Liam Neeson Versus… |UPROXX|

Ten Pointless, Expensive On-Screen Props I Need to Own |Warming Glow|

Cross Your Fingers: Dave Chappelle & Chris Rock Could Tour Together |Smoking Section|

Corgi farts on other corgi – via ArtVandelay

Funny, Sexy, And Awesome Cosplay Of The Week |Gamma Squad|

Top 10 Pictures Of Vladimir Putin Beating Up Little Kids |Buzzfeed|

Rihanna got a “thug life” tat on her knuckles. Bright girl. |WWTDD|

Chelsea Handler unwisely starts shit with Joan Rivers. |TheSuperficial|

The week’s top 10 animal videos. |Videogum|

This “history of MMA” video is pretty cool. |CagePotato|

A hip hop tribute to Ron Swanson. Honestly, I’d like this guy more if the internet could shut up about him for half a second. |GorillaMask|

21 pictures of Andy Serkis looking like a jagoff. |ScreenJunkies|

6 amazing animals that lived practically forever. |MentalFloss|

Behind the Movie Masks and Make-up |Unreality|

Single Men Vs. Single Women In NYC |High Definite|

11 bizarre pieces of Obama fan art. |HolyTaco|

Comments of the Week | Frotcast on iTunes| FilmDrunk on Facebook | Vince on Twitter

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Battleship (BASED ON THE CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED BOARD GAME!) has a new trailer out, and after watching it, I’ve come up with an awesome new slogan: Battleship — It’s not the SIZE of the ship, it’s the ‘splosions in the ocean! (The motion of the ‘splosion?) No, no, please, you can have that one, free of charge. Really, it’s my pleasure.

Which is to say, yeah, it’s still about alien battleships that jump. But it’s also got Admiral Rihanna (yes, Rihanna plays a naval officer. Yes, Rihanna the singer) dispensing folksy wisdom. “MAH DADDY DUN TOLE ME DA ALIEEN GONE COME BACK ONE DAY! HE SAY WE AIN’T ALONE!” Oh, Magic Negro. What would our action films be without you?

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Click to animate (recommended)

After the jump, it’s the first trailer for Universal’s Battleship, which is loosely based on the board game and reportedly cost $200 million to make. I think it looks amazingly terrible, but then I could be biased because I’ve read the script. It stars the poor man’s Chris Pine, Taylor Kitsch as a cocky young blah blah something something aliens come and Rihanna is there. Liam Neeson reprises his role as Guy Who Likes Paychecks, and Alexander Skarsgård is all “HURRR, I’M HANDSOME.” Also, the aliens have jumping battleships in this one. That’s right, JUMPING BATTLESHIPS. It makes sense, because they’re aliens. Hey, Hollywood, maybe it’d be easier to just tell us which movies AREN’T about alien invasions from now on.

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Singer Chris Brown has been cast as one of the four male leads in Think Like a Man, a new film based on comedian and multi-button suit enthusiast Steve Harvey’s best-selling book, “Act Like a lady, Think Like a Man”. Brown will be joined by comedian Kevin Hart, Michael Ealy, and the guy who plays Turtle on Entourage as four guys who have to deal with their girlfriends/wives actually using Harvey’s book to dictate their relationships.

It’s kind of like Inception meets Rihanna’s face.

According to the book’s Amazon page…

Harvey makes a game effort, taking a bold but familiar men-are-dogs approach: if you’re “cutting back” on sex, “he will have another woman lined up and waiting to give him what he needs and wants–the cookie.” Several chapters later, however, he introduces the “ninety-day rule,” asserting that, actually, he won’t always have another woman lined up–and the only way to makes sure is a three-month vetting period.

So the basic idea here is that the four women (played by Gabrielle Union, LaLa Vasquez-Anthony, Regina Hall and someone else who is inexplicably hot enough to pair with the fat guy who loves shoes) start taking advice from a book that demands that they either have sex with their men when expected or they will be replaced. If there’s a chapter on sandwich preparation and threeways then I am sold.

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(Rihanna prepares for another game of ‘Smell the Glove’)

I was browsing my favorite internet website RihannaDaily this morning when I came across these first pictures of Rihanna on the set of Peter Berg’s Battleship.  Casting Rihanna as a Navy seawoman in a board-game-based movie about a naval battle with aliens seemed like a weird choice (as did moving forward with this whole board-game idea in the first place), but now that I’ve seen the pictures, she definitely looks the part.  Her transformation is breathtaking, really.  You’d never guess she was actually a famous pop star and not no-nonsense sailor lady.  I mean, the camouflage, the forearm tattoos… incredible.

“Okay, team, so what do we know about sailors?”

“Hmm, they swear a lot?”

“Good, but…”

“Oooh, I know– they have tattoos of anchors on their forearms.”

“Yes!  That’s good…”

“And they’re always eating spinach and getting into fights!”

“Right!”

“I was thinking… could she also smoke a corn cob pip?”

“That’s great stuff, Trent, really great.  Nice work, gang.  Should we call out for sushi?”

RELATED ASYLUM POLL: What board game would make the best movie?