Last week, I stuffed you catamites to the thrapple with the news that Pulitzer-Prize-winning novelist and infamously lapstrake curmudgeon Cormac McCarthy had written a script. Today, Toldja.com reports that Ridley Scott is in talks to direct, which is either a huge deal or nothing at all, considering Scott has been attached to roughly eleventy quintillion projects in the last few years.

Scott has several films he’s considering, but there is a strong possibility this could be his next film and his followup to Prometheus, the 3D space film which Fox releases this summer.
Scott had been mulling several options, including an historical epic about Gertrude Bell that The Constant Gardener scribe Jeffrey Caine is currently rewriting, and Child 44 at Summit Entertainment. But Scott has been talking directly to McCarthy and it’s looking likely that he and his Scott Free Entertainment banner will come aboard the film and join Wechsler and the Schwartz’s as producers.

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The Hobbit (the first of two movies) doesn’t open until next December, but until then, The LA Times has released a new publicity still of Martin Freeman as Bilbo Baggins. If my Tolkien knowledge serves, that’s Bilbo with his sword, Lucille, preparing for his journey up Munchkin Mountain with the dwarves Oin, Loin, McGloin, Dingleberry, and the rest of the Lollipop Guild. But don’t quote me on that.

After the jump, it’s a new still from Prometheus, Ridley Scott’s Alien epic starring Idris Elba and Michael Fassbender’s penis.

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"DAWWWWWWWW!"

UPDATE: Now with higher-quality embed. Scroll down.

The trailer for Prometheus, Ridley Scott’s prequel/sequel/sorta-related story to Alien is finally online. The movie stars Idris Elba, Michael F. Assbender, Guy Pearce, Noomi Rapace, and Charlize Theron, and of itself, the trailer would be pretty cool. It doesn’t tell us much beyond the fact that the sets are really big, but who doesn’t love a big set (*points to ‘TITS OR GTFO’ shirt*)?  But after Fox released no fewer than THREE teasers for the trailer (yes, trailers for a trailer, basically), I guess I expected more than a 60-second trailer where none of the shots last more than a few seconds. If Prometheus himself had made this big a deal about the gift of fire, I think humanity would’ve been like, “Jeez, asshole, we get it already, get over yourself.”

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People seem pretty excited about Prometheus, I assume because of the idea that it’s some kind of prequel to Alien with Ridley Scott directing, and I guess I can get onboard with that, as long as I try to forget that last horrible movie Ridley Scott directed. Damon Lindelof wrote the script with Jon Spaihts, and if there’s anything Lindelof and Scott’s last movies (Cowboys and Aliens and Robin Hood, respectively) have in common, it’s that they were boldly nonsensical. On the plus side, yay, Stringer Bell! (click through for the full sized poster)

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I haven’t covered Ridley Scott’s Prometheus much, mainly because trying to understand anything about it has been exhausting, and I don’t feel like wasting that kind of energy on a guy whose last movie was Robin Hood. Suffice to say, it might be a prequel to 1979′s Alien. It was co-written by Damon Lindelof (of Lost and Cowboys and Aliens), so between all the space polar bears, time travel, and people becoming unstuck in time, it might be hard to determine whether it’s technically a prequel or something else, and that’s the reason they’re not saying.

In any case, Entertainment Weekly has a first look at some stills from the film, which appear to show Michael F. Assbender and Stringer Bell staring at a big giant head. Here’s how ThePlaylist describes it:

The first photo shows weary space travelers Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace, from the original “Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”), her lover Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green), and her faithful robot butler, er, android companion David (Michael Fassbender). They’re wearing space suits that carry with it the same worn future aesthetic that made “Alien” so transfixing, and they’re all goggling at…something.
That “something” seems to be the giant mythic head in “The Ampule Room.” For those of who didn’t major in science, an ampule is a small glass vial used to preserve a sample, usually of a liquid. Both the title of the movie and the cryptic messages that have leaked out from those close to the movie suggest some truly cosmic, how-we-all-came-to-be overtones to the movie, and this could be a clue — what exactly is the Ampule Room keeping in? Besides that giant head?

Yeah… I’m just going to translate all that as “we still don’t know sh*t.” But it opens in summer 2012, so I’m sure we can look forward to a full year of speculating! Hopefully it’s about the search for Michael Fassbender’s huge wang, and Ice Cube shows up in a supporting role to say stuff like, “So exackly how big is diss snake?”

[scans via ShockTillYaDrop]