Here’s a rundown of some of today’s “other” stories

• Everyone’s reporting that Will and Jaden Smith‘s Karate Kid remake will be called Kung Fu Kid, even though this news is old as hell.  And anyway, it seems like something you’d infer based on the film starring Jackie Chan and being shot in China.  Meanwhile, I’m writing a script in which Joe Son plays the Miyagi character.  I call it Gun Rape Kid. [3newsNewZealand]
• New Star Trek poster, same lame, generic tagline (“The Future Begins”). [Below]
• Emma Stone is a slut. Bong.  And by that I mean she’s signed up for Easy A, a reimagining of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter set in high school.  Too bad it’s being shot by Screen Gems, which means it’s either (A) going straight to DVD or (B) involves vampires, aliens, zombies, or vampire alien zombies. [Variety]
• Richard Linklater is trying to find a distributor for his “spiritual sequel” to Dazed and Confused. Says Linklater, “It’s tough. It’s not a tentpole, sequel, remake, or over-the-top comedy. The studios have kind of admitted they’re not in the business of doing anything else. The slightest level of irony or intelligence and, boom, you’re done.”  A Fox exec responded “Haha, ‘Fah-Q’ – I just got that,” and tripped over the curb.  [EW]
• This is a supposedly hilarious script called Balls Out which the writers, who call themselves The Robotard 8000, claim their agents refused to send out, so they’ve posted it online.  I’m gonna read it while I poop.[Robotard8000 (via cinematical)]
• Some talk show host no one’s heard of insulted Canada and Canadians are all pissed and indignant, especially about all the famous comedians who everyone forgets are from Canada.  Wait, you want us to thank you for Mike Myers now? [NationalPost]

As you can see, High School Musical star and real life wood nymph Zac Efron has gone and gotten himself a serious, no-jazz-hands-required acting job.  Me and Orson Welles was directed by Richard Linklater (School of Rock, Dazed and Confused, etc.) and premieres at the Toronto International Film Festival.

The story of a whirlwind week in 1937 NYC when a young aspiring actor (Efron) is thrown into the middle of Orson Welles’ Mercury Theatre Company on the eve of the opening of Welles’ historic staging of Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar. During this week, Richard will find romance with a worldly older woman (Danes), become immersed in a creative experience few are afforded, and learn the downside of crossing the imperious, brilliant Welles (strikingly portrayed by newcomer Christian McKay).  Richard is about to grow up FAST. [Twitch]

Yeah, that’s what I’d whisper in Efron’s ear before I raped him in prison.  Wait, what?  Anyway, I’m sad this role didn’t go to the main kid in Dazed and Confused.  That fucker could grab the bridge of his nose and cover his face with his hair like no other.