Today’s forgotten classic comes from Richard Horian’s 1987 film Student Confidential, and stars… Richard Horian (this happens a lot on Forgotten Classics).  It features some incredibly cheesy music (composed by… you guessed it, Richard Horian), and the following dialog:

Joseph, there will be no concert today.  If there were, we would have to trade places.  Next time we meet, I want to tell you something I do know about.  How to make inordinate amounts of money in the world of business.

And then they hold hands and STARE AT EACH OTHER FOR MORE THAN A MINUTE.  It’s creepier than the Hobbit epilogues from Lord of the Rings and Mugatu staring down his assistant in Zoolander combined.  Richard Horian went on to make one other movie in 1998, called Williamstowne.  It has even less dialog than Student Confidential and appears to consist solely of cheesy music and meaningful looks.  Watch the three-minute trailer that feels like 20 after the jump.

[Thanks to @greg_hudson for the tip]