I hope screenwriter Randi Mayem Singer is waiting by the phone, because Renee Zellweger says she’s wearing a fat suit for Bridget Jones’ Diary 3. Aw crap, did I just type Bridget Jones’ Diary 3? Now my keyboard has AIDS ;-(
“Renee will be wearing a fat suit in the third film, as it took her a while to lose the weight last time,” a source revealed to British magazine Reveal. “She’s also thinking about the effect quickly putting on and then losing 30 pounds has on her body.”
I forgot that she’d actually gained 30 pounds for Bridget Jones Diary 2. Can you imagine? Jesus, man, considering the movie we’re talking about, that’d be like asking Robin Williams to actually get a sex change for Mrs. Doubtfire. Not even. It’d be like “We’re making a direct-to-DVD sequel to Mrs. Doubtfire, you’re gonna have to become a woman now.”
While some fans and bloggers are worried Zellweger’s portrayal of “Bridget Jones” will be less authentic the third go-round if she dons a fat suit, the actress has voiced concern over gaining weight for the famous role in the past. [NYDailyNews]
Oh okay, I get it now. Haha, Bridget Jones 3 less authentic, very funny. Seriously, you guys, where’s the hidden camera, I have work to do.
Buckle up, blenderlickers, it’s time for another episode of “Forgotten Classics”. Back in 1994, when Renee Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey were just getting started in the movies, they both starred in a crotchpunchingly bad film called Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation. The film was unique in that it featured Leatherface in drag, Matthew McConaughey with a robotic leg, and not a single chainsaw murder. You know a franchise has nuked the fridge when its title no longer has any bearing on its content.
I believe the two clips below sum up the essence of this film. I can’t be arsed to try to explain just how bad this movie is. I’m coasting. This is my last post before Vince’s triumphant return. Arrivederci, goat touchers. I’ll be blazed and playing bongos naked with Cole Hauser if you need me.
~ robopanda [picture source]
Opening this weekend:
Inglourious Basterds — If I have to explain to you what this movie is about, then I’m sorry about that coma you just recovered from. Welcome back. Now take off that hypercolor t-shirt; you look like a damn hipster.
Post Grad (trailer) — “This summer . . . look for a job . . . look for love . . . find yourself.” . . . F–k yourself.
Oh hello there, Michael Keaton. I didn’t know you were still alive.
Just in time for Super Bowl weekend, George Clooney’s Leatherheads has a poster. It’s Clooney’s third film as a director, after Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (a solid movie written by the genius Charlie Kaufman) and Good Night and Good Luck (a snooze fest the critics had a big circle jerk over). It opens April 4th (trailer here).
The movie looks like it has potential, but I’m pretty sure their football team is screwed. One black dude? And he’s nowhere near the ball? Back to the drawing board, fellas.
