A reader over at CHUD snapped this spy pic from the set of the Red Dawn remake in downtown Detroit. Which is impressive, as I would’ve assumed one would have to attempt to dress and act like a homeless person in downtown Detroit in order to blend in, and that doing something like pull out a camera is like begging to be robbed and murdered. Anyway, the picture apparently shows the new American flag after a surprise invasion by the Chinese. It gives me hope that this movie will be xenophobic as all hell and let us relive the glory days of cold war action movies. Remember when Rambo went back in time and won the Vietnam war? That was awesome. Maybe this bit of revisionist history will stop the Chinese from being so uppity.
[full pic at CHUD]
A remake of Short Circuit is a really good idea, as you can see from this quote by one of the producers:
We’re bringing Number 5 into the 21st Century and taking advantage of the improvements in robotics that are so massive that robots are now performing heart surgeries in hospitals,” Producer David Foster said. [Variety]
And in case you still had any doubts about a remake, don’t. They hired the director of Paul Blart: Mall Cop to direct it. He’s Sassy Ostrich’s favorite.
Dimension Films has signed Steve Carr to direct “Short Circuit,” the remake of the 1986 sci-fi pic. Carr is coming off the Kevin James hit “Paul Blart: Mall Cop.” Scripted by Dan Milano (”Robot Chicken”), the remake is a robot reboot that brings the iconic Johnny 5 into the 21st century. Built by the military to be a highly sophisticated weapon, Johnny 5 develops a conscience and personality after being hit by lightning. He befriends a lonely boy and his fractured family. [Variety]
Look, I have as fond of memories of Johnny 5 as the next guy, especially the time those Puerto Ricans taught him how to steal car stereos. But calling Johnny 5 “iconic” is like saying The Noid is an American institution.
National Lampoon’s Vacation (the one where they go to Wally World) has already had three sequels, which in the mind of movie execs, makes it ripe for another.
New Line is developing a sequel of sorts to the 1983 comedy classic, with David Dobkin (Wedding Crashers, Fred Claus) attached to produce and possibly direct. New Line is meeting with writers to write the script but the take is already developed: the story focuses on Rusty Griswold, the son of Clark Griswold, the protagonist of the initial movies portrayed by Chevy Chase. The younger Griswold is now a father himself and takes his family on a road trip vacation. The characters would acknowledge that first trip, making the movie more of a sequel than a reboot.
The original “Vacation” is a Warner Bros. property but as soon as New Line became part of the studio, exec Sam Brown began sifting through the parent company’s titles to see what was available in terms of rights. He eventually found “Vacation,” a movie he has watched more than any other in his life, and brought it to New Line president Toby Emmerich and production president Richard Brener, who jumped at the possibilities.
They’d probably jump for a frozen herring too. This is the problem with the movie business in a nutshell: the execs are too stupid or lazy or cowardly to read new scripts (or to ask the opinion of people they pay to read scripts for them), and instead spend their time trying find out which movies they already made that they can make again. What is this, karaoke? Grow some balls, you pussies.
(Where you going, stupid? All the good stuff’s under the water.)
After the jump, Wolverine’s ne’er-do-well, heroin-addict cousin Freddy Krueger is back in the trailer for the new Nightmare on Elm Street remake from Michael Bay’s production company. Michael is desperate for cash these days, as his C4 habit is up to four bricks a day.
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(”I’ve been working on my tough-guy look in the mirror at Hot Topic”)
Dimension has hired Rob Zombie to direct a remake of The Blob, and why not? A monkey with d’cks for hands could direct a horror remake. (Plus, it’d probably be good in bed - Rawr.)
Zombie’s deal to make “The Blob” his next film comes as Dimension opens “Halloween II,” the Zombie-directed sequel to his 2007 hit “Halloween.”
In the original “Blob,” an object from space crashes into a field, containing a red blob-like substance that absorbs the humans it contacts and grows exponentially. While Zombie was a fan of the original, he’s formulated a decidedly different take that he would not reveal.
“My intention is not to have a big red blobby thing — that’s the first thing I want to change,” Zombie said. “That gigantic Jello-looking thing might have been scary to audiences in the 1950s, but people would laugh now.” [See also: your clothes. -Ed]
“I’d been looking to break out of the horror genre, and this really is a science fiction movie about a thing from outer space,” Zombie said. “I intend to make it scary, and the great thing is I have the freedom once again to take it in any crazy direction I want to.” [Variety]
Horror films are cheap to make, always earn money for some reason, and are the easiest thing in the world to write, so I understand why these things get greenlit. The only thing that keeps me going is hearing the people who don’t really believe in the product having to put a positive spin on it in interviews, and then end up saying ridiculous sh’t like “I wanted to stop making horror films so I decided to direct The Blob.” Ha, good one, Rob, I wanted to write that down but I was too busy pantomiming this blow job.
