A guy in Times Square dressed as Spider-Man allegedly punched a 44-year-old mother of two after she didn’t pay him for posing for pictures with her two kids. You know, I’ve been predicting exactly these kinds of growing pains as the commemorative pictures industry tries to come to terms with a digital camera world. But I promise, this isn’t even the best part of the story.

Philip Williams, 35, was dressed as the web-slinging superhero when he was arrested for punching the 44-year-old woman at about 3:10 p.m., police said.

Williams allegedly belted the mother after she wouldn’t pay him for posing with her two kids, causing the woman to storm off and get her husband.

Waaaait for it…

But she ended up targeting the wrong Spider-Man for revenge.

I don’t blame her, I blame that goddamned Willem Dafoe screaming at her in the mirror. You can hardly think with that guy around.

“A woman came to me and said, ‘What did you do to me, you f–ker?’ ” said the other Times Square Spidey, who wouldn’t give his name.
“Her husband came over and said it was a different Spider-Man. They went over to the other one and started fighting.”
Witnesses said the woman’s husband then pounded the offending Spider-Man with a backpack before cops arrived to bust Spidey.
Williams was charged with assault.
“Getting arrested isn’t good for any of us,” said Times Square worker Christian, who dresses as Big Bird. “It makes us all look bad.”

A guy dressed as Big Bird worrying that this “makes us all look bad” is just about the funniest image I can imagine, so thanks for that, New York Post. I like to imagine there was another guy there talking through a howdy doody puppet saying, “Yeah! Jutht becauthe we dreth in cothtumes, it doethn’t mean we’re crathy!” while the other assembled cartoon characters twitterered affirmations.

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If you watched either of Billy Corben’s two ludicrously entertaining Cocaine Cowboys documentaries, 2006′s Cocaine Cowboys or 2008′s Cocaine Cowboys 2: Hustlin’ with the Godmother, you know the only real continuity between them, besides both being about cocaine (one set in eighties Miami, the other in nineties Oakland), was the Black Widow, Griselda Blanco. She was depicted as a ruthless killer who would do things like order assassinations in the middle of crowded shopping malls. She’s suspected in

Griselda Blanco, the drug kingpin known for her blood-soaked style of street vengeance during Miami’s “cocaine cowboys” era of the ’70s and ’80s, was shot to death in Medellin by a motorcycle-riding assassin Monday.

Blanco, 69, spent nearly two decades behind bars in the United States for drug trafficking and three murders, including the 1982 slaying of a 2-year-old boy in Miami.

Colombia’s national police confirmed her slaying late Monday. According to Colombian press reports, two gunmen on motorcycles pulled up to Blanco as she walked out of a butcher shop in Medellin, her hometown. One man pumped two bullets into her head, according to El Colombiano newspaper. It was the sort of death many had predicted for her: Blanco has been credited with inventing the idea of the “motorcycle assassin” who rode by victims and sprayed them with bullets.

The former kingpin was with a pregnant daughter-in-law, who was uninjured. According to El Colombiano, the woman told police that Blanco was no longer involved in organized crime and that she was hoping to live off the sales of several properties she owned.

Raised in the slums of Medellin, she began her criminal career as a pickpocket, eventually commanding an empire that reportedly shipped 3,400 pounds of cocaine per month, by boat and plane. She was considered a Colombian pioneer in drug smuggling to the United States, a precursor to the larger cartels that dominated in the 1980s.

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Less than a week after first introducing himself to the world, Rex Velvet, Seattle’s real-life supervillain and self-appointed foil to real-life superhero Phoenix Jones, has released a follow-up video. It’s pretty much the same as the last one, but have to say this for him, he’s really putting a lot of work into these.

My my my, what a world we live in. I call out an arrogant, neurotic, full-grown man on his failed efforts as a self-proclaimed superzero, and madness ensues! It’s time you dorks realized that the world is not impressed with your playground movements, nor your ability to aim and fire a silly can of mace!

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We first met Seattle’s “real-life superhero” Phoenix Jones last October when he tried towho’s also known as amateur MMA fighter Ben Fodor, had a story that paralleled HBO’s documentary, Superheroes, about similar, self-appointed superheroes. Well now, in a move that’s either genius, obvious, inevitable, or most likely a combination of all three, a self-appointed supervillain, Rex Velvet, has emerged to challenge Phoenix Jones, whom he calls “a hobo snitch in a mask.”

“Let us rid our city of these silly, vigilante nerds.” -Rex Velvet

He has released the following video:

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