These two new posters for the G.I. Joe movie come from the Cinema Expo in Amsterdam. They feature Ray Park as Snake Eyes (another faceless role for the master) and Sienna Miller as Baronness (I barely recognize her – maybe it’s because she has clothes on).  The posters employ the same style as the earlier one of Duke, in which everything is black and white except for a small red patch that confusingly draws attention to a confusing aspect of their weaponry.  Though I guess I can see why Snake Eyes’ samurai sword would need a serrated edge.  Just in case you slay the dragon and want to celebrate by slicing up some tasty sourdough.   

I think they first showed up on Latino Review and USA Today, but these are the first two pictures of Ray Park as Snake Eyes from the upcoming G.I. Joe movies.

Ray Park is pretty much the butterface of Hollywood, always playing characters like Toad in X-Men or Darth Maul in Star Wars – all the big movies want to be with him, but only if he has his face covered.  But this time it’s to his advantage – no one wants to be seen doing a Stephen Sommers movie.  I heard he tried to get the 2girls1cup chicks to be in this and they were like, "No way, that’s degrading."

Darth Maul is playing Snake Eyes in Stephen Sommer’s GI Joe movie. Otherwise known as British Stuntman Ray Park, he’s played such memorable characters as Toad in X-Men and the Headless Horseman in Sleepy Hollow. He describes his hobbies as getting killed by good guys and not speaking. For his part, Sommers is best known for directing such festering buckets of ox pus as Van Helsing and The Mummy Returns. Okay, in all fairness, I haven’t seen either of those movies, but I also don’t have to drink ox pus to know it tastes bad. 

Snake Eyes is one of the original members of the GI Joe series. Not much is known about the ninja master’s real identity, as it has remained classified throughout the series. The U.S. Army Sergeant First Class (E-7) is known for his stealth like movements and extensive knowledge of multiple forms of martial arts. Snake-Eyes is romantically involved with fellow G.I. Joe member Master Sergeant Shana M. O’Hara, a.k.a. Scarlett.

From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite co-ed GI JOE team, based from it’s headquarters The Pit, deploys the latest in next-gen spy and military equipment to fight crooked arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious COBRA organization from plunging the world into chaos.” [/film]

The fact that guys like Sommers still get to make movies is just mind boggling to me. I swear to God, Hollywood execs would hire a crocodile to babysit a pile of horsemeat.