"Video game adaptation" is right up there with "full cavity search" and "Jonathan Taylor Thomas" when it comes to bile inducing three-word-phrases.   Still, even I have to admit that the trailer for Hitman looked kind of cool.  Plus, all that opera kinda makes me want to nail a fat chick with pigtails.  Or maybe just Bugs Bunny dressed as a fat chick with pigtails.

Anyway, the latest news is that, according to TwitchFilm, 20th Century Fox has taken Hitman out of the control of director Xavier Gens, who supposedly made an explicit, gore and head-shot-filled R movie; and put it in the hands of Nicolas De Toth.

Who’s De Toth?  He’s the man behind the edit of Live Free Or Die Hard, a job he was hired for specifically to turn in an entirely bloodless version of the film and word is that this is his task with Hit Man as well. [sic]

Gosh, I’m glad they’re sanitizing all this violence so that young children can see it.  Otherwise they’d grow up much too fast.  Like me, the first couple times I shot people in the face with a shotgun, I was confused when they didn’t turn all grey and smokey with their bills on the wrong side and little birdies flying around their head like Daffy Duck; they pretty much just laid there without a face and bled to death.  It took four or five times of this before I finally saw the birdies. And that, my friends, was the day I became a man.  

Roger Ebert this weekend denied reports that he had kept his TV show from using the "Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down" rating system amid contract negotiations.

Ebert owns the thumbs-up/thumbs-down trademark with the estate of the late Gene Siskel, his original co-host. But the show's defining characteristic was absent from this weekend's episode, which marked the season premiere.

Perhaps they just stopped using it because it's the stupidest rating system ever devised.  In fact, in the middle east, you can get your thumbs cut off for using the thumbs up/thumbs down system.  They're very strict on patent laws over there. It's barbaric, really.

Source 

According to Yahoo News, Ang Lee's latest movie, Lust, Caution has picked up an NC-17 rating from MPAA.  The film's distributors do not plan to re-edit the film.  

The Motion Picture Assn. of America's ratings board cited the film's graphic sexuality for its decision. A source said too many of the film's sex scenes violated the ratings board's unwritten rules (like the number of allowable pelvic thrusts, for example) to make an appeal possible.

That's funny, just the opposite happened to me – my girlfriend gave our love making a poor rating because she said I violated her unwritten rules for the minimum number of pelvic thrusts.  Bitch.

Sources who have seen the film said it contains at least three scenes — one a long montage — featuring multiple acts of aggressive sexual activity in different positions. There's no full-frontal male nudity (the source of some NC-17 rulings when shown in sex scenes), but male-on-female oral sex, non-S&M restraints and several nontraditional sexual positions are depicted, conveying the aggression and emotional conflict between the main characters.

Bummer about the lack of cock, but seriously? "Nontraditional sexual positions"?  Doesn't this movie have Asian chicks in it?  Last I checked, they have a long history of having sex with octopi and playing ping pong without paddles. Who's the MPAA trying to protect these days?  I read in National Geographic that 85% of American teens have already seen Asian chicks do freaky shit on the internet, and the other 15% are freaks who go to church and don't watch TV during dinner.  It must be true.