"Awesome, the Sinister Six!" - Maybe one person

The guys at Super Hero Hype recently spoke with Matt Tolmach and Avi Arad, the producers of The Amazing Spider-Man, and they offered a lot of insight as to why Sony Pictures was willing to re-launch the Spider-Man franchise so soon, with Spider-Man 3 still freshly splitting our memories into three parts and pooping in each one accordingly. You know, aside from that whole “they had to or Marvel would reclaim it” reason.

Beyond a lot of the back-patting and Sam Raimi/Marc Webb mutual praise, the duo admitted that Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man would indeed get at least the same trilogy treatment as the Tobey Maguire version, if not more. So the question, then, would be – who will the other villains be? Well, it seems they may or may not have learned a very important lesson from the aforementioned third installment.

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Last week when TheWrap broke

Eszterhas told TheWrap on Wednesday that he released the recording because “Gibson called me a liar. And I also have some reason to believe he’s creating a PR blitz questioning my truthfulness.”

Well, you kind of have to do that when someone accuses you of calling everyone oven-dodger and saying John Lennon and Walter Cronkite are sucking each other off in hell. What’s he supposed to say? “Okay, you got me, Joe, I hate the Jews.”

It was recorded on an iPod on Dec. 7, 2011, by Eszterhas’ 15-year-old son Nick, who was with his parents, Joe and Naomi.

12-7-2011, as in, more than a year after he’d already been embarrassed by these kinds of recordings. You’d think he’d be a little more careful.

“The bottom line is it shows to me he badly needs help,” Eszterhas told TheWrap. “My interest isn’t to damage him with this tape [*cough* BULLSHIT! *cough, cough*] but to prevent damage being done to others, starting with Jews, including Oksana and now, I’m sure, me. I strongly believe that unless he seeks and receives some kind of psychiatric help, someone is going to get hurt.”

Eszterhas (as told to TheWrap) also never explained how the letter got out, even though it said in the original letter “I’ve sent this letter to no one else except Nick Guerra, your assistant, per his previous instructions that I send him whatever I send to you so he can make sure you’ve received it.”

Here’s the transcript of the audio:

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It was only a matter of time before we got this news, and since Vince refuses to put down his Cormac S. Thompson novels and read “World War Z” like I’ve told him to, I get to bring you all the bad news. Currently filming in Malta, World War Z will not follow the plot of the Max Brooks “Oral History of the Zombie War.” Instead, it will tell the story of Brad Pitt, ‘dude who does stuff.’

The story revolves around United Nations employee Gerry Lane (Pitt), who traverses the world in a race against time to stop the Zombie pandemic that is toppling armies and governments and threatening to decimate humanity itself. Enos plays Gerry’s wife Karen Lane; Kertesz is his comrade in arms, Segen. (Via Slash Film)

*deep sigh, wraps tape around eyeglasses, inserts pocket protector, pours glass of YooHoo, hits inhaler*

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR NERD RANT!!!

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As you’ve no doubt heard by now, Gilbert Gottfried

And that is to say nothing of the EVEN MORE obvious fact that anyone who knows anything about Gilbert Gottfried knows that 85% of the man’s career is making insensitive jokes.  Remember that movie, The Aristocrats?  That entire idea for that movie started because Gilbert Gottfried told the joke at a Hugh Hefner Roast.  The roast was taped shortly after 9/11, and Gilbert Gottfried told a 9/11 joke, at which point people yelled “too soon!” and then, as a way to keep from bombing hard and ruining the show, he went into his insanely dirty version of the old joke The Aristocrats and brought everyone back.  Can you see what I’m getting at here?  THIS IS THE SAME GUY WHO SPAWNED ‘THE ARISTOCRATS’, WHICH ITSELF WAS SPAWNED BY HIM TELLING 9/11 JOKES RIGHT AFTER 9/11.  And he was the voice of the Aflac duck for a FULL DECADE after that.

So big thanks to our video editor, Oliver Noble, for putting together this short mashup of just a few Gilbert Gottfried jokes that DIDN’T get him fired (as performed by the Aflac Duck), in honor of those moral highgrounding sh*tbag hypocrites over at Aflac.  Who, let’s not forget, are IN THE F*CKING INSURANCE BUSINESS. The same exec who made the decision to fire Gottfried is probably some doughy A-hole who spends his vacations shooting captive animals on game preserves and screwing 10-year-olds in Southeast Asia.  But, yes, let’s be sure to distance ourselves from some guy who made JOKES on f*cking TWITTER.

POST EDITED FOR RIGHT WINGERS:  Why come Gilbert Gottsfried kin joke about our dead 9/11 patriots, but the minute he tells a joke about dead Japs he gits fired?? I THOUGHT THIS WAS ‘MURICA! DEY TOOK YER JOB! BOYCOTT BOYCOTT BOYCOTT!