Veteran movie ‘That Guy’ Charles Napier died this week at the age of 75. Napier was probably best known as Murdock in Rambo First Blood Part II or Jack in Three Ninjas Knuckle Up, or for looking sort of like a thin Brian Dennehy. Napier had been a long time resident of Bakersfield, California (“home of the easily contented”), and the local paper there provides the most thorough eulogy:

Though the Kentucky native was most proud of his work as a thoughtful judge in the Oscar-winning 1993 film “Philadelphia,” it was his go-to role as a steely-eyed tough guy in movies that ranged from pure schlock to Hollywood blockbusters that assured his legacy.
“I always felt I played myself or some kind of version of myself. If you think about it, old actors probably don’t even have a self,” he told The Californian in March before the release of “Square Jaw and Big Heart,” the refreshingly candid and high-spirited memoir of his life as an actor.
Napier was born on April 12, 1936, in Allen County, Ky., the second of three children born to a homemaker and tobacco farmer. He joined the Army out of high school, despondent after an athletic scholarship to college failed to materialize. He was stationed in Germany for three years and credited his time in the service with developing social skills he never learned during his rural Kentucky upbringing. He earned a bachelor’s degree in art from Western Kentucky University in 1961 and appeared in his first stage play, “Love Among the Ruins,” a short time after graduation.
After bouncing around Florida, New York and San Diego, Napier arrived in Los Angeles in the mid-1960s. He found work as a substitute teacher and made mischief with a bunch of unknown actors on the cusp of counterculture fame: Jack Nicholson, Peter Fonda, Dennis Hopper and Harry Dean Stanton. After Nicholson helped him find an agent, Napier soon landed his first bit part, on the television series “Mission: Impossible.” Napier played a military guard, who patrolled alongside a German shepherd. The first line he would ever mutter on screen was fitting for a career that would feature a rogue’s gallery of heavies:
“He only bites when I smile.” [Bakersfield.com]

Napier seemed like a decent actor, despite almost always playing military or police guys, so this is only partially relevant, but it’s amazing how much of a career an actor can have based solely on looking a certain way. Specifically, I was thinking of James Rebhorn, who I just saw in Real Steel playing (shocker) a stuffy, A-hole rich guy (they even put him in an ascot, because that’s not cliché at all). He plays that same character in everything and he’s not even that good at it. The guy’s made hundreds of movies, based solely on the idea that someone who didn’t know anything about him saw him one day and said, “Hey, Tommy, don’t that guy look like a rich douchebag?”

“Oh wow, he really does.”

Sylvester Stallone and Harry Knowles from AICN have a special relationship, in that Sly sends Harry videos of himself working out and Harry gushes about Sly “sweating and glistening.”  So it’s no surprise that Sly gave Harry the scoop on the plot of Rambo 5 (which doesn’t have to do with Mexico or human trafficking, as originally reported).  Here’s the audio clip, in which Sly’s voice sounds like a normal person with the tape slowed down.  Here’s what Sly says:

“Hey Harry it’s Sly, thanks for posting that.  But I think there’s been some slight confusion regarding all the talkbacks.  I think the majority of these individuals misunderstood, it’s not a Universal Soldier, it’s not me fighting a soldier, it’s actually me fighting a feral beast.  It’s uh, a thing.   An amalgamation of fury and intelligence, and pure unadulterated rage.  It’s before men, became hu-men.  It’s when they were still in-humen. And what he confronts is something that is everyone’s virtual nightmare.  So in no sense of the word does he go against quote, the Dolph Lundgren or Jean-Claude Van Damme universal super-soldier.  He’s going against a feral beast, that has absolute cunning and intelligence and a will to survive that is only matched by Rambo’s, and that’s what makes it uniquely different.  It’s like man’s conscience fighting his dark, dangerous, uncontrollable subconscious.”

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My favorite thing about foreign films’ depictions of the U.S. is the way they randomly lump a bunch of American things together for the sake of brevity (RoboCop and fried chicken, for example). In the Bollywood film KAMBAKHT ISHQ, the Indian lead plays Sly Stallone’s stunt double, trying to win the love of a supermodel (of course).  The trailer opens with the real Sylvester Stallone, apparently playing himself, thanking the stuntguy during a Kodak Theatre awards speech.  Only Stallone says, “Good evening. My name is John Rambo,” and then proceeds to show a clip from Waterworld. Think about that. That’s like Fred Thompson coming out and announcing, “Hello, America.  My name is John McCain, and I love hamburgers.”  *crowd goes wild*

Not only is it a strange and awesome combo, I’m suprised Asian people can hear the words “My name is John Rambo” and not immediately flee before he strangles everyone.

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I will use any excuse to post these pictures

Tucked into a boring THR article about Lionsgate is confirmation of what many of use (especially Asians) had long feared:

On the development horizon are “Warrior,” which Gavin O’Connor co-wrote and will direct; “Conan,” a fast-tracked project with multiple scripts in the works; “Severance Package,” with Brett Simon writing and directing; “Rambo V,” to be written and directed by Sylvester Stallone; “Korean Wedding” from writer Jason Filardi; and “Kane & Lynch,” a video game adaptation that will star Bruce Willis.

Regarding “Rambo V,” we’ve already heard lots of rumors about it and now it looks like things are moving forward. One of the rumors is that Stallone will use an alternate script he wrote for “Rambo IV,” which involves Rambo’s daughter being kidnapped by cult leaders. [Worst Previews]

Keep in mind, Lionsgate is also responsible for the Saw franchise and Disaster Movie. And that Warriors is “a drama set within a family of mixed martial arts fighters.”

But it’s easy to see what the conflict will be in the next Rambo. “When you’re pushed, killin’s as easy as breathin’… *cough, cough* F-ck, I’m out of breath. Jesus, how many stairs does this place have? Hoo boy, can a fella get an oxygen tank over here?”

Oh snap!  Sly’s getting totally busted on in Myanmar:

YANGON, Myanmar – Sylvester Stallone’s Rambo character looks like a fat lunatic in his new movie, a Myanmar magazine said this week. …An article in The Voice, a Myanmar-language magazine, decried Rambo’s bloodletting and said he "looks funny fighting a war even though he’s so fat with sagging breasts." [Source] 

Of course, response to the movie differed slightly in news outlets not controlled by the military junta. 

"We need many Rambos in Myanmar," said a 75-year-old retired civil servant after watching it.
"Everyone likes to live in the world of fantasy at least for a short period. Even in a movie, we are happy to see the American mercenary enter Myanmar to smash up the brutal army," a 22-year-old university student said.

In response to the popularity of the banned Rambo DVDs, the junta has sped up the release of its government-sponsored animated feature, in which Bonky the Friendly Octopus protects the gentle emperor from an army of dangerous pacifists with his batons of truth.  And taking his cue from the Myanmar government, a recent commercial for U.S. Senator Barack Obama accused fellow presidential candidate Hillary Clinton of having "a big hairy bucket cunt."