With MGM’s financial woes in the back seat and production under way, the 23rd installment of the James Bond franchise is making up for lost time (and Quantum of Solace) by adding some big names to the cast, notably Javier Bardem and Ralph Fiennes. Bardem will play Daniel Craig’s newest villain while Fiennes will presumably play the head – or a very powerful figure of authority within – the Quantum organization.
But who cares about them? Producers have also cast Naomie Harris (28 Days Later) as Miss Moneypenny, a character that hasn’t appeared in a Bond film since Die Another Day, the last installment of the Pierce Brosnan era. The addition of Harris is shaking some martinis, though, as Moneypenny has been always been played by white actresses. So of course this is just some ploy by the producers to appease the mobs of angry ethnic Bond fans, right? RIGHT???
Here’s a guy rapping about Con Air. It seemed like something you’d want to know exists. |via CinemaBlend|
Ben Affleck and George Clooney will wag your dog. Clooney is producing Argo, with Ben Affleck in negotiations to direct, based on a Wired article about how the CIA invented a fake sci-fi movie to rescue six diplomats taken hostage during the Iranian takeover of the American embassy in Tehran in 1979. Wait, it’s not about Bawston? Lame. Did you get the hawstages, cawksuckah? I’m puttin this whole embassy in my reahview. |THR|
Ralph Fiennes, Javier Bardem in Bond 23??? Earlier this week it was Bardem who’d been offered a role in Bond 23, and then late yesterday the news was that Ralph Fiennes had been offered one (a different part than Bardem, reportedly). This is of course assuming that MGM has their sh*t together enough to actually make a movie, which seems anything but certain at this point. I’ll tell you this, though, I will tongue kiss an old man’s balls before I ever pronounce Ralph Fiennes’ name “Rafe.” Rafe? Your name’s Ralph, dude.
UPDATE: Trailer removed at the behest of some douchebag lawyers. I’m pretty sure posting a studio’s own advertisement for their movie so I can make fun of it falls clearly under fair use, but whatever, I’m not a lawyer. The first Clash of the Titans trailer was sort of dumb and incomprehensible, a mashup of people stabbing each other and CGI bad guys set to heavy guitar, intercut with the ultimate we-assume-you’re-an-idiot-meathead tagline “TITANS. WILL. CLASH.” Gee, thanks. I’m insulted and I am an idiot meathead. Luckily they’ve corrected all that with this new trailer, which is… even more incomprehensible and meathead. Here’s the official synopsis:
Born of a god but raised as a man, Perseus (Worthington) is helpless to save his family from Hades (Fiennes), vengeful god of the underworld. With nothing left to lose, Perseus volunteers to lead a dangerous mission to defeat Hades before he can seize power from Zeus (Neeson) and unleash hell on Earth. Leading a daring band of warriors, Perseus sets off on a perilous journey deep into forbidden worlds. Battling unholy demons and fearsome beasts, he will only survive if he can accept his power as a god, defy his fate and create his own destiny.
The tagline in this one is DAMN. THE. GODS., but this movie is so dumb that when I saw “DAMN” I half expected it to be “DAMN. THIS. LOOKS. HELLA SICK.” or “DAMN. BROSEPH. EXPLOSIONS.”
Here are some new posters and banners for Clash of the Titans, from director Louis LeTerrier, starring Ralph Fiennes, Liam Neeson, and captain I’m in everything now Sam Worthington. Not that I ever had much enthusiasm for this project, but anything there was quickly snuffed out by the teaser trailer — tagline: “TITANS. WILL. CLASH.” GRR, THREE. WORD. TAGLINES! I bet if you took a shot for every time someone referenced 300 during pre-production, you’d be Nick Nolte. On that note, here are my two favorite 300 gif animations:
I’ve heard Gerard Butler is just like that in real life. They say if you cut off his head, his hips will just keep thrusting like a praying mantis.
The trailer for The Invention of Lyingcame out barely a week ago, and yet here’s Ricky Gervais, back with a teaser for Cemetery Junction, which he also co-wrote and co-directed with Stephen Merchant. It isn’t much, mainly just him and Merchant ripping on Ralph Fiennes. And for some reason, they give him a total pass on clearly being named “Ralph” yet making everyone refer to him as “Rafe”. I seem to remember a little film where John Goodman played the king of England and it sure as hell wasn’t “King Rafe.” Meanwhile, while I was trying to get to the bottom of this, I came upon this story from his Wiki page:
Fiennes stirred controversy in February 2007 when staff aboard a Qantas airline flight from Australia to India caught the actor leaving the same aeroplane lavatory as 38-year-old flight attendant Lisa Robertson. At first denying any allegations of a mid-air tryst, Robertson later confessed to having unprotected sex in the stall with Fiennes, whom she had met just hours before. Fiennes reportedly was en route to Mumbai, India, as a participant in AIDS awareness efforts for UNICEF. The organisation retained Fiennes as an ambassador, but Qantas ultimately relieved Robertson of her duties. One month after the airline incident, Fiennes again made headlines when he reportedly disturbed sleeping guests at Bruges, Belgium’s high-class Hotel Tuilerieen during a 5 a.m. naked pool romp with four women. The actor was a guest at the hotel while shooting the film In Bruges.
Fine, I guess if your pimp hand is that strong you can keep the silent L. Btw, sounds like he’s been stirring more than controversy, gnome sayin? Oh!
…I’m a freak. I like the girls with the boom. I once rawdogged a lady in a aeroplane bafroom, I’m crazy. Allow me to de-AIDS thee. They hated Duchess but it just don’t phase me…