This is only the cropped version of a much longer screen grab (full version below) that’s been going around Tumblr. As you can see, these people all enjoyed the Red Dawn remake for all the right reasons, that I’m sure the filmmakers and studio would be very proud of. (Then again, is there a right reason for enjoying a Red Dawn remake?). The bad guys in the movie were famously changed from Chinese to North Korean after the movie was already finished, though I have a sneaking suspicion that these people wouldn’t have been able tell you the difference. Question: Between Red Dawn and the Asianface make up in Cloud Atlas (below right), was this the worst year ever for Asians in movies? |pic via PaulScheer|

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Harrison Barnes Presents The NBA Dunk Of The Year (So Far) |Smoking Section|

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The Ultimate “Workout Fail” Compilation |Clip Nation|

“Please. Do That. Seriously. That Would Be F*cking Awesome.” |High Definite|

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[video turns slightly NSFW at the 55-second mark]

I was of course being humorous with that headline.  I doubt there’s a reboot of The Taking of Pelham 123 in the works, and I’m not sure if Mel Gibson even has a cousin (though he’s Catholic, so I’d guess he has about a thousand). This is actually a video of a guy freaking out on the subway, in which he strips down to his pubes and ding dong to shout racial slurs against the blacks and Jews.  Or as I like to call it, my birthday.

Two things about this video: 1. Those are the worst cops ever. I appreciate not immediately going for the pussy taser, but it took three of you to take down one naked whiteboy? That is terrible. Use a choke hold if you have to.  2. Someone needs to start making PSAs about learning to hold your godd*mned cell phone camera the right direction.  Come on, I gotta turn my head sideways now?  I’m trying to watch a tweeked-out schizo’s peen flop around over here.

Oh hey, would you look at that, I already had a tag for “naked fights.”

[via Vulture]

As first discovered by I believe Reddit, here’s a short video clip that proves once and for all that the Olsen twins are virulent, hate-filled racists.  In a clip from their 1992 film To Grandmother’s House We Go, the twins, then 6, spot an older black saxophonist playing Christmas music on the street.  The miniature, unhooded Klanswomen immediately sidle up to him, cruelly mocking him with hammy, Sambo-style shucking and jiving, an insulting minstrel show missing only the blackface. When even that fails to elicit a response from the proud and dignified street musician, they tip him with fried chicken.  Disgusting.  No way they would’ve treated Timmy Cappello that way.

Before you ask, no, the clip does not appear to have been doctored.  As you can see below, the twins appear holding chicken even before the the close-up shot of the sax case.  Does this level of hate in a family film surprise you?  It shouldn’t.  They think they can get away with it because black people don’t watch these films, but it’s a sick practice that continues to this day. It needs to be stopped.  High School Musical 3 was just 90 minutes of Zac Efron Sieg Heiling.   True story.  Here’s some people who rented it.

I don't know, Tyler, why don't you tell us, and be sure to reference Jesus.

The Delaware Supreme Court recently overturned a fine against a theater stemming from an incident in which a theater manager warned black patrons not to talk loudly during a Tyler Perry movie.  Oh, is that a stereotype?  I hadn’t heard.

The Delaware Supreme Court overturned a decision by the state Human Relations Commission that the manager of a Dover cinema was racist when he used a “condescending tone” in telling a crowd of largely black patrons viewing a Tyler Perry movie to silence their cell phones and remain quiet.

The commission had ordered the Carmike 14 Theater to pay nearly $80,000 for violating the Delaware Equal Accommodations Law after it determined the October 2007 announcement [during a screening of Why Did I Get Married] — which was not regularly made in that way in other theaters — “insulted, humiliated and demeaned” patrons in that manager David Stewart had singled out a black audience at a “minority-themed” movie.

Some patrons later said Stewart’s tone “was offensive and condescending, as if he were speaking to children.” And because the crowd, which had been well-behaved to that point, was “90 to 95 percent” black, some felt it was racist because it implied that blacks did not know how to behave in a movie theater.

One person in the theater who stood up and announced her opinion that the manager’s actions were racist was Juana Fuentes-Bowles, then the director of the state’s Human Relations Division, according to the ruling. Fuentes-Bowles, who apparently did not announce her title but said she was “an attorney or someone who worked for an attorney,” then collected names and phone numbers of patrons who were offended. [DelawareOnline]

“How dare they further these false and hurtful stereotypes!” said Juana, demanding respect, rolling her neck and snapping her fingers in a circle.  …I kid, I kid.  But seriously, I’m sad it got overturned.  The theater deserved that fine.  It was a screening of a Tyler Perry movie. People are going to talk at the screen. That’s a cultural thing.  You don’t go into a Katherine Heigl movie and make the dumb sorority girls remove all the Tiffany’s jewelry their boyfriends bought them, or show up at a Michael Bay movie and start giving spelling tests.

Spike Lee has fired back* at Clint Eastwood, who had told him to "shut his face".

"First of all, the man is not my father and we’re not on a plantation either," he told ABCNEWS.com.

See, Spike knows the best way to cure racism is to respond to anything a white says with, "We ain’t on the plantation, motha***!"  To which a white should naturally respond, "Oh yeah? Well we ain’t on the mothaf***in’ Amistad either, bitch!"  Nothing says ‘let the healing begin’ like bringing up slavery.

"He’s a great director. He makes his films, I make my films. The thing about it though, I didn’t personally attack him. And a comment like ‘a guy like that should shut his face’ — come on Clint, come on. He sounds like an angry old man right there." Lee has a proposal for Eastwood: "If he wishes, I could assemble African-American men who fought at Iwo Jima and I’d like him to tell these guys that what they did was insignificant and they did not exist," he said. [ABC]

Which brings us to part II of A Complete Idiot’s Guide to Healing the Race Divide: Incorrectly attributing inflammatory statements to your opponent.  It’s way easier to make someone’s argument look bad when you make it for him!  Please, Spike, tell us more!

*Not literally, of course! He just issued a harshly-worded statement. But when black guys do that, we in the media believe it’s good journalism to use a gun metaphor.

"I give interracial couples a look. Daggers. They get uncomfortable when they see me on the street."  [Source]

I bet!  Scrawny midgets give me the creeps!  I can’t imagine how scared I’d be if I was a big black guy!  Goodness, I feel better already.  I think I’ll go buy an African shirt and not turn my car stereo down next time I drive through the black neighborhood.  Hooray for tolerance!    

-Thanks to Bex and Robo for the tips