_{Snake pickup lines: “Hey girl, ever gotten f-cked by the devil?”}

On a break from critically acclaimed gems like Eragon and Fred Claus, Rachel Weisz has most recently been playing atheistic Egyptian philosopher Hypatia in a super-secret Alejandro Amenábar film called Agora.  Last I heard about this project, my cousin was so afraid of it that he never left his apartment.  Anyway, after the jump you can watch the trailer.  It looks pretty epic, I think because of all the dramatic opera music in the background.  One time I was walking through the lobby of my building and I heard an opera singer practicing.  Before I knew it my shirt was gone and I was in the midst of a sword fight.

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Cinema Blend is running a very suspect sounding story about Chloe Sevigny and Rachel Weisz competing for the female lead in Terminator 4.  I’ll spare you the details because it’s highly speculative and I can’t see either of those chicks doing a Terminator movie (though I can see Chloe Sevigny blowing a dude (VERY NWS)). 

The rub is that they’re going through with a fourth Terminator.  Without Arnold, without Jim Cameron.  But hey, Eddie Furlong is still rumored to be attached to the project, so I’m sure it will be really good.

When will Hollywood learn?  You can’t put the reanimated corpse of Marilyn Monroe in a slutty dress and expect her to run around the party singing "Happy Birthday, Mr. President."  She might give a decent handjob, but the magic will be gone.  What was I talking about again?  Oh yeah, a zombie Marilyn Monroe porno, someone should definitely make that.