I’m a little burnt out on all the ‘real-life superhero’ stories going around, because the line between ‘real-life superhero’ and ‘LARP enthusiast’ tends to be blurry.  Nonetheless, this story about a gang of Milwaukee police officers inspired by Punisher has something more: RACISM AND EXTREME VIOLENCE.

[The group is] suspected of being responsible for beating up one Frank Jude, Jr. Jude was accused of stealing a wallet with a police badge in it from an off-duty police party six-and-a-half years ago. He was beaten up by drunk police officers, and repeatedly kicked in the head and groin, his clothes cut off, pens rammed in his ears and threatened with a knife and a gun. He stated that the officers used racial slurs. And no badge was found.

After a newspaper investigation by the Journal Sentinel, three officers were charged but acquitted. They were then later charged in federal court with civil rights violations along with four other officers, all of whom were then convicted.

Shortly after the beating a Milwaukee Police Department commander investigated a suspected rogue group of officers known as “the Punishers,” who wore black gloves and caps embossed with skull emblems while on patrol, according to newly released documents.

Capt. James Galezewski wrote in 2007, “This is a group of rogue officers within our agency who I would characterize as brutal and abusive.”

Galezewski wrote that several of the officers who beat Jude were associated with the group. Some had Punisher skull stickers on their cars, lockers and memo books. Andrew Spengler, who was convicted of beating Jude, had a Punisher skull with the number “7″ on his truck. Jon Bartlett, who also was convicted, had a Punisher tattoo. Bartlett was also convicted of trying to buy an assault-style rifle similar to the one used by the comic character while he was out on bail – a violation of federal law. [via BleedingCool]

Why am I not surprised that a group of cops’ idea of vigilantism was kicking a guy in the nuts while calling him the N-word?

“Help, someone stole my wallet!”

“It was probably the black guy!”

“Regulaaaaators….”

I confess I haven’t been following comic books since… well, since I turned 12 and started reading books without pictures or protagonists who wear spandex.  I know, I know, feel free to not invite me to your next party.  Anyway, point is, I haven’t been following comic books lately, so tell me: are ridiculous celebrity cameos the only thing keeping them afloat these days?  How does Eminem help the Punisher, anyway?  “Let’s go, Slim, you distract him with your slick flow while I blow his face off with a shotgun.”

…And don’t even think about making a Proof joke, you sick f*cks.

[source]

^{Two new Punisher: War Zone trailers after the jump} 

Hollywood keeps right on making Punisher movies, and the movies keep right on sucking.  Punisher: War Zone will be the third try (first one in 1989 with Dolph Lundgren, second in 2004 with Thomas Jane), this time with Ray Stevenson (whom I admit was pretty badass in Rome) in the lead.  It’s a good thing they hired a director I’ve never heard of because otherwise I’d be worried they’d just screw it up again.

I liked this better when DMX was in it.

Regular trailer:

R-Rated version:

Wow, a shitty white-trash rap-metal soundtrack, I never would’ve seen that coming. It’s cool though, rap-metal is like Fox racing gear and armband tattooes in that it never gets old.  Hi, bodies?  Meet floor.

This is the trailer for Punisher: The Other Ones Sucked But We Keep Making Them Anyway Because We’re Fucking Dense War Zone, starring Ray Stevenson and directed by some chick no one’s heard of.

I love Ray Stevenson and was a huge fan of Rome, but someone needs to tell Marvel that Punisher movies always end up sucking.  I don’t know why.  Maybe Jesus decreed it on the cross. 

Thomas Jane, star of the not-Dolph-Lundgren version of The Punisher, will be making his directorial debut with the 3-D noir flick, The Dark Country.  Ron Perlman (Hellboy) and Lauren German (Hostel 2) are attached to star.

The thriller concerns a couple who find their honeymoon to be a hellish adventure. Pic has just begun shooting in Albuquerque, N.M.  [Variety]

I guess that could mean anything from vampire bounty hunters to the wife having undesirable genitals (yeah, or husband). Or maybe it’s just a remake of Honeymoon in Vegas.  Nic Cage’s forehead has been described by some as a hellish adventure. 

I sure hope my honeymoon is a hellish adventure.  Otherwise this pentagram on my scrotum is nothing but a conversation piece.  And that would make me sad :-(

Semi-related update: Hellboy 2 has some new concept art.  Guillermo Del Toro can Pan my Labyrinth any day.